QIC: Gusher
Date: 03/25/2021
PAX: Friar Tuck (Respect), Prosciutto, Shank, Holy Kiss, Red Raider, Laces Out (Respect), Pediasure, Burrito, Mansiere, Snow Patrol, Joanna, Pound Dog, Recycle, Zima
AO: Smackdown
Conditions
The conditions: Where does one begin in describing the contours of the weather? Things began dry and then quickly turned not dry. At one point it was not raining and then it rained. This seems simple enough. So simple one might even say, “what is there to say other than, ‘it rained?'” Well, for one, this is Smackdown and there is always much more to say. We count our words the way runners count their steps. Today, we averaged 8,232 of each per PAX. And by ‘we’, I mean Burrito had about 72,958 words. We will get to the live doppler data, for posterity’s sake, in a moment. However, these are men of the mountain and the epistemological flare is always on high octane. After comparing data in 100% rain, we wondered what the weather app meant by only 66% chance of rain? Red Raider asked, “In what other career can you maintain a job by being wrong 66% of the time?” Surprisingly, the coach of the Detroit Redwings came to mind. But the real issue is what does a job interview look like for a prospective weather man? Human Resources (HR): “Good morning, welcome to the interview, I’ve looked over your resume. Just a few questions to begin. How would you describe your strengths?” Prospective Weather Person (PWP): “I am very confident in handling percentages.” HR: “Could you give me an example of your data prowess?” PWP: “For sure, and by sure, I mean there is an 83% chance of me answering this question.” HR: “Mmm, I like that. And it turned out to be existentially 100%. Now, what would you describe as your greatest weakness?” PWP: “I care too much and I get absorbed in my work.” HR: “Ah, yes, the humble brag standard answer. That works 42% of the time, most of the time. How about your greatest strengths?” PWP: “I literally care little to nothing about accuracy and the truth. Let me illustrate, you’ve got a proper burpee form, yes? I modify it. It’s still a burpee right? That’s how I handle the weather. And I love that feeling of people checking in with me on the daily and embarking on their day in clothes chosen based on my predictions. I guess you could say my strengths are playing fast and loose with the truth. And by fast and loose, I mean I am not really bothered by misjudging things.” HR: “We really like where this is heading.” PWP: “I would say that I have thought through the predictability element. I have noticed that if the percentages for, let’s say precipitation is given in a very specific number like 18% of 91%, people tend to trust it. I rarely trade in percentages of the round numbers like 50, 80, or 100 percents. I mean, this ain’t common core.” HR: “There is a 47% of you getting this job.” PWP: “Ahh, I see what you did there, well played. I’ll be here tomorrow morning. Thank you. It will be a pleasure working with you.” (Back to regularly scheduled programming).Thankfully, the workout began with no rain. This was good for at least a 27% increase of PAX showing up to the AO. Wind was SE6mph, humidity at 95%, whatever. The Free Weather App announces Allergy Forecast as “Moderately High.” However, when searching to find out the particular pollen allergens, the data suggested low. Tree Pollen: Low. Grass Pollen: None. Ragweed Pollen: None. But you know what you else you find? The 15 Day Allergy Forecast brought to you by Claritin! Well, well, well. Actual pollen…low. 15 Day Allergy Forecast sponsored by Claritin with their Cool Mint Chewables 24-Hour Allergy Relief Immediate Cooling Sensation. First, and YHC says this from experience, never once in an anaphylactic inability to breathe because of severe allergies has the thought, “You know, I’d really love to feel more of a cooling sensation right now” ever crossed the frontal lobe. Nay! But this has in a deep wheeze, “I really wish I could breathe right now.” The Weather App is like Stockholm Syndrome. You know who you can trust? Pomade! That man is a living Live Super Doppler and has never posted in the rain, save for his second workout ever when he showed up in a poncho. After that, never. Pomade is legit. Temperature was perfect and there were a lot of puddles on the ground. Rain started to fall slowly making the Presbyterians happy, which admittedly is rare. Then the deluge came to the satisfaction of the Baptists providing them, once again, with the last word. In the end, the conditions were well nigh perfect for 37% of the time and manageable the other 80%.
COP
Disclaimer: Hi, welcome, Gusher here. Don’t get hurt.
SSH (IC); Silent Forward Fold (Almost) OYO; Willie Mays Hays (IC), 3rd Grade Exercise (IC);;;;Arm Circles in a forward motion and then a not forward motion (IC)
5 Rounds of AMRAP in Pairs of Three
Formed five groups of three and remained in socially distanced proximity for safety, but close enough for banter. PAX alternate exercises until each member completes and then moves on to the next round. After round 5 repeat. There is to be constant movement and striving to complete as many reps as possible (hence the moniker AMRAP) while partner is running lap. We state the obvious here. And the not so obvious as mountain citizens are keen and perceptive.
Round 1: run lap: curls: squats
Round 2: run lap: block bench press: SSH
Round 3: run lap: bent row: lunges
Round 4: run lap: block dips: squat jumps
Round 5: run lap: shoulder taps: monkey humpers
COT
Proverbs 15:1-2 A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouths of fools pour out folly. Our communication can honor or harm others. Words communicated in private can have greater power than those made in public. Controlling and guarding the tongue and using it well are no small matters in the cultivation of wisdom. How can we as leaders cultivate a habit of wise, self-controlled speech to build up and not tear down; to deescalate a situation, rather than spew out more verbal diarrhea making matters worse. We can tend to guard our words more when we are in our places of business or church, but let down our guard when home around those we love the most. Let us seek to use words well and discerningly. Sometimes the wise action is remaining silent. Sometimes it is to speak. All the time words are to used well. *This was abbreviated some due to precipitation.
Moleskin
It is truly remarkable to see the consistent quality of HIM. The impact of these men is high. So much so that someone should abbreviate this quality and subsequently standardize it for a free workout program that exists to encourage male leadership or something. Maybe even provide a source book wherein one might learn in an environment where they are free to lead. Anyway, Smackdown has these dudes in abundance. I am not sure what was falling with greater rapidity, the rain or the wisdom. YHC would even deign to say, “wisdom fell like rain.” And we all got soaked. There is a U6 Soccer Scandal brewing on the mountain. Strategies that, allegedly, were acceptably implemented in the past are now spurring discord. Emails with mysterious and conspicuous recipient omissions are being leaked. At what point in futball is a goalie necessary? What if I told you that on a beautiful mountain ridge, the beautiful game was being sullied, ESPN 30 for 30 presents, “Scandal on the Mountain.” This is something to watch as the season progresses. It was assumed that few places took youth sports as seriously as Russia, but that assumption is false. Rocky IV didn’t solve every problem between the nations. Which is its own mystery given there was only two. Is the Cold War over or is it just really cold rain? Zima is a beast. He performs every exercise with solid form at the same methodical cadence and smiles all the time. And posts basically everyday. This is not a cult, guys. Mansiere is primed to replace The Hanging Gardens of Babylon as a Legit Wonder of the World. YHC and Burrito were huffing and puffing like asthmatic wolves before the houses of pigs, while Mansiere gaped past us saying something about an injured hamstring pulled a fortnight prior. The man galloped past effortlessly. Do you ever wonder what it would have been like to have been a teammate and watch Michael Jordan play daily? Well, come to Smackdown and witness Red Raider’s squats and you will know you are in the presence of greatness. Prosciutto created an entire bench press system with concluding gym rat pectoral pounds at the end of the reps. Crafty. BoFlex Machine just got served and is on notice. Pro also fields three conference calls at a time during the workday. Proficiency. YHC dream came true at the Convergence Wednesday and finally got to meet Burrito. A day later and YHC still can’t believe his fortune. Seriously, true story. 16 months of working out at the same AO the introduction finally took place. A true legend. Holy Kiss and Pound Dog sweat from the shoulders down. Because that is what hydrated men do. Recycle apparently has roots on Signal Mountain deeper than anyone else ever in the history of Signal Mountain. There is a war, purportedly, between Thrasher and Nolan. The fronters (renters?) and the established. The lines have been drawn. Probably by Walden Town Hall. YHC learned this for the first time. Completely oblivious as his children are making wax candles and churning butter for their home education. The fields are not going to plow and harvest themselves, good folks. There is solidarity, however, in that Signalers do not pay for weather apps. We want all the luxury and accoutrements of mountain life without the cost. Stewardship matters. Lookout Mt pays for their apps with a 22% greater accuracy. Joanna continues to make gains. Not just today. But everyday. Something can be said of the greatness of each PAX today, but YHC was being pelted with rain and could neither see nor hear everything that took place. If one needs to know the blessings and benefits and the ranking system of Reese’s Peanut Butter options, Snow Patrol is your man. We await his official review of the Reese’s Peanut Butter Chocolate-Free Cup. But by all early indications, it is not looking good for Reese’s. It is being hailed as the Ultimate Peanut Butter Lovers Cups. But what if what makes a Reese’s Peanut Butter Lover love the Reese’s PB Cup is the holy union between chocolate and peanut butter? These are the questions that need to be answered. Snow Patrol, unleash your wisdom as the heavens unleashed its rain. The world needs to know. Yes, the world needs to know.
News
Convoy Saturday and Monday;;;;Smackdown Tuesday and Thursday. This is a reliable pattern.