Backblasts – F3 Chattanooga

May 23, 2023

Tommy Boy

QIC: 9-Volt

Date: 5/23/23

PAX: Cooter, Mayhem, Cheney, Wuzntme, Lonely Island, # Phase, Pipeline, FAmily Tree, Abercrobie, Tape Deck, Wet Dream, Cock-6, Duvet

AO: Battery

Conditions

Excited

COP

Mosey to the Skate Park
PAX will perform exercise at one end of the skate park then run to the other
rinse and repeat. ( During BAC and claps PAX will keep arms raise while running)

FAT GUY		LITTLE SHIRT
Frankensteins	10	SSH	10
Squats	10	SSH	20
WMH	10	SSH	10
Windmill	10	SSH	10
BAC Fwd	15	BAC Rev	15
Seal Clap	15	Ovehead Clap	15

The Thang – Fat Guy In A Little Coat Shirt

PAX continues moving from the “Fat Guy” side to the “Little Shirt” side of the park between exercises using the following modes of transportation; Bear Crawl, Lunge, Crab Walk, Bernie, Crawl Bear, Run
After each exercise the Q will ask a trivia question. If the PAX answers correctly they get a 10 count.
If the Q beats the entire PAX to the other side, everyone is awarded a 3 groundhog penalty

FAT GUY	Count	LITTLE SHIRT	Count
Hand release Merc	15	Sit Ups	20
Jump Squats	15	Mt Climber	20
Donkey Kicks	10	100’s	20
Monkey Humpers	20	Calf Raise	40
Burpees	20	Flutter Kick	25
Crab Jacks	20	Standing Leg Lift	20 Ea
Little baby crunch	15	Hello Dolly	25
Dips	20	Capt Thor	10
Squats	25	SSH	25
Wide arm merkins	20	Imp Walkers	20

The Q is allowed to cheat on the race

The sexy beat this morning was brough to you by Tom Jones

Tommy Boy Trivia
What was the working title of the movie “Tommy Boy”	“Rocky Road”
True/False, Tom Jones sang a duet with Dolly Parton on the Porter Wagner show	FALSE
True/False, Rotten Tomatos gave “Tommy boy” 42%	TRUE
True/False, Gene Simmons wrote part of the soundtrack for Tommy Boy	True, “I Love it Loud”
True/False, David Spade is Canadian	FALSE
What year was “Tommy Boy” Released?	1995
True/False, Chris Farley was in rehab with Ozzy Ozborn	False, Ozzy would never go to rehab
True/False, Tom Jones performed the theme for the James Bond movie “Thunderball”	TRUE
True/False, Bo Derek was nominated for a golden globe award for best supporting actress for her role in Tommy Boy	FALSE, She got a razzie for worst supporting actress
True/False, David Spade also received a Razzie award for worst supporting Actress	True, The movie Jack and Jill
True/False, Tom Jones was originally cast as Mr. Roark in the Pilot for the TV show fantasy Island	FALSE, He was in one episode
Who is Ray Zalinsky played by?	Dan Akroyd
What is Tom Jones’ last name	Woodward
Name any of the animals David Spade has done voice acting for?	Lama, Red Panda, White Gorilla, Dragon Fly
True/False, “Tommy Boy” is on Roger Ebert’s most hated list	TRUE
True/False, Chris Farley was a child actor staring in a Mr. Bubbles commercial	FALSE
Tom Jones starred in a TV film called Pleasure Cove along with David Hasselhoff	TRUE
True/False, David Spade was married to Heather Locklear	False, He Dated her but she sobered up
True/False, Tom Jones was knighted by Queen Victoria?	FALSE, Queen Elizabeth
True/False, Chris Farley appeared in a Red Hot Chilly Peppers music video	True, Soul to Squeeze
True/False, Chris Farley was conceived at the Woodstock Music Festival	FALSE
True/False, Tom Jones appeared in both the Simpsons and The fresh prince of bel-air	TRUE, as himself
Where did Chris Farley live?	In a van down by the river
True/False, Ronald Reagan invited Tom Jones to the White House	False, Bill Clinton did
Ture/False, David Spade was attached in his home by his assistant, Skippy Malloy	True, he was tazed but escaped and hid in his bathroom
True/False, Tom Jones has 26 children by 11 women	False, Who’s counting

COT

Today’s wisdom is contained in the trivia questions

Moleskin

I think we already have a guy names Heisenberg but I’m not certain

News

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April 28, 2023

Blood Sweat and Tears (and other fluids)

QIC: 9-Volt

Date: 4/27/2023

PAX: Ricki Lake, Term Limit, Full Moon, Ram Rod, Pipe Line, Glitter Bomb, Bernie, Joe Jelly

AO: Hacksaw

Conditions

I got soul and I’m super bad – James Brown

COP

PAX Meet at the pavillion with blocks

SSH	In Cadence	20
Willy Maze Haze	In Cadence	10
Forward Fold	In Cadence (As God intended)	10
Down Dog
Up Dog
Tea Time
Runner’s Stretch
Baby Arm Circles – Fwd	In Cadence	10
Baby Arm Circles – Rev	In Cadence	10
Seal Clap	In Cadence	10
SSH	In Cadence (Allegro)	10

The Thang – Soul Train Tribute

The PAX may use a block for extra resistance

Exercise	Qty
Block Lunge	10	Each Side
Split Calf Raise- straight leg	10	Elevate one foot on a bench. Keep leg straight
Split Calf Raise- Bent Leg	10	Elevate one foot on a bench. Keep leg bent
Block lift	10	Sit on bench, put toe in block, lift with ankle
1 leg squat	10	Stand on block put one foot in air, lower until it touches the ground
Angled calf raise	20	Back against wall at angle, plant heel and toe raise
Squats w/block	20
Lounge Act	20	Each side
Monkey Humpers	20
Belly Flop Flutter Kick	20	Lay on your belly
Touch Rafters	10	Jump up and touch rafters
Jump Rope	1 Min
Standing leg lift	10	each side
		*Repeat above exercises once*
100’s	20
BBSU	20
Burpees	10

Extra Credit was given for farting while performing standing leg lifts
Contestants were disqualified if they shit themselves (Pipe Line)

The soundrack for this morning festivities was inspired by watching Soul Train every Saturday during the 70’s

COT

Pay attention to all the muscles we used today that you didn’t know you had. If you are unballanced you should feel it tomorrow.

Moleskin
Great sphincter control was demonstrated by all in attendance

News

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April 26, 2023

A Flair for Bricks Part 5

QIC: 9-Volt

Date: 4/25/2023

PAX: Roundup, WreckedEm, Shamu, Shocker, Face Plant, Tatonka, Chiclet, Duvet, NoDoze, John Doe

AO: Parliament

Conditions

I wish I were in Tijuana, eating barbequed iguana

COP
Begin with a Mosey around the tennis courts —– The count, sensored (you Tube)
Everyone grab two bricks and circle up around the sound—– Commodores “Brick House” playing in the background

EXERCISE	DESCRIPTION	QTY
SSH	With Bricks	10
Cobble Stones	(3rd grade exercise- With Bricks	10
Brick Shitters	Willie Maze Haze – With Bricks	10
Little Baby Brick Circles	Duh
Fwd		10
Rev		10
Brick Claps	Seal Claps – With Bricks	10
SSH	With Bricks	10

The number 5 is not allowed at the Battery. (4 Groundhog penalty)

The Thang

Cage Match – Break into teams of 2.
One PAX runs around the wrestling ring while the other does battle (exercise)
The one in the ring can tag out when ever his partner comes by.
When tagging out the PAX must yell Whooooo! or 4 Groundhog penalty

EXERCISE	DESCRIPTION
Smurf Jacks	With bricks
Hand Release Merc	No bricks required
Brick Side Raise	Standing, arms at sides, raise bricks over head
Monkey Humpers
Brick Tricep extension	Tricep extension – With bricks
100’s of bricks	Like a 100’s only with bricks
Brick Hammers	American hammers – With Bricks
Masonry Sit Ups	Big boy sit ups – With bricks
Crab jacks
Brick Front Raise	Standing, hands @ waste, raise bricks to 90 deg in front
Lounge Act	25 each side
Pickle Pointers	20 OYO
Freddie Mercury	10
Groundhogs	5 OYO

This morning’s play list was brought to you by the number 5

COT
Life often doesn’t come with a rule book. You have to figure it out on your own and it helps to have a sense of humor.

Mole Skin

The bricks were sanitized for your protection

News

Poker Ruck at the Battery on Saturday

Recent Backblasts

March 20, 2023March 20, 2023

U Better Dora

QIC: Clothespin

Date: 03/20/2023

PAX: AOL, Plucker, Tube Squeeze, Term Limit, Pill Mill, Picabo

AO: The U

Conditions

Clear and colder than a witches tit in a brass bra….

COP:

SSH

Forward Fold

WMH

Down Dog

1/2 Mile Lap

The Thang:

Dora:

Pick a partner. There was an odd number so Q worked by himself. One partner did reps while the other moseyed to the other set of cones about 200′ away did 3 squats then returned. They then switched roles and kept going until they had achieved the number of reps cumulatively of each exercise listed below.

50 Burpees

100 Curls

200 Merkins

300 SSH

400 Bench Press

500 Calf Raises W/ Block

COT

Take advantage of the great opportunity that F3 gives you. We are here to be come better leaders, fathers, friends, husbands and coworkers. Build those shield locks and push each other, not only in the workouts, but in life. I know that I can call on anyone in F3 and they will have my back. Guys will pray, give and will support. Use your time, talent and treasures to support each other. Support is not always praise it may be correction.

Moleskin

Not so fast Clothespin… on the half mile run
This workout is not for the faint of heart
It’s hard to sweat in this weather….
You forgot your squats Clothespin……..

News

Poker Ruck 4-1 at The Battery, Chubby’s, Convergence 7-4 at Hacksaw, Romin Rome Ruck with F3Noga 7-22.

Recent Backblasts

March 7, 2023

Was it Really Track Day?????

QIC: Clothespin

Date: 03/07/2023

PAX: Face Plant, Blackout, Tatonka, Roundup, Sniffer, Zoosk, Nodoz

AO: Parliament

Conditions

50s Clear with a bright moon! Perfect workout weather.
Who the heck let Clothespin Q Trackday anyway……

One would think that Trackday would be running. Make some laps gets some miles and go home… Well not today!

The Thang

Dundee’s Workouts are stupid….
6 cones set evenly spaced on half the track. Traverse the cones in a suicide fashion, buying in with 2 burpees each time you go back to cone 1. Each time you travel out to a cone you do an exercise at that cone then return to cone 1. Mode of transport was mosey the whole time.
Round 1 was 20 Merkins at each cone
Round 2 was 10 BBS at each cones
Round 3 was 20 Squats at each cone
Had just a couple of minutes after round three to stretch and cool down.

COT

I burned 4820 calories Monday and didn’t eat nearly enough. To say the least, I was still tired and did not want to workout this morning. I am so glad to have my F3 brothers to motivate me and share the gloom with me. Try to build those shield locks and make the most of the relationships and fellowship that F3 provides.

Moleskin

Blackout and Tatonka kept talking about meat…. I don’t know what that was about…..
If you don’t burpee, do you even workout?

News

AOL on Q 3/8/2023, Chubbys, F3/FIA Capture the flag 3/25/2023, Poker Ruck at The Battery 4/1/2023

Recent Backblasts

February 21, 2023

Who Makes the History You Celebrate

QIC: Mr. Clean

Date: 02/20/2023

PAX: Bonsai, Escobar, Loggins, Mayhem (Respect), Ricki Lake, Snatch, Toe Tag

AO: Hacksaw

Conditions

Fairly clear morning. Temps in lower 50s.

COP

SSH x20 IC
Forward Fold OYO
Various Yoga “Stretches”
Willie Mays Hayes

The Thang

Before we began but after the Disclaimer began, YHC mentioned visiting AOs on “holidays”, which drew some instant Mumblechatter from certain Pax, and the Summer now that YHC has reentered the Education world. This was a strategic comment to be addressed later in the COT…stay tuned
In other news, the routine below was stolen from Knox’s Drive-Thru. Running was “modified up” and the Blockees were “modified down”
Drive Thru’s Modified Routine

Complete all exercises in sets of 25. After each set of 25, mosey to a predetermined point.
150 — Curls
25 yard Mosey
125 — Block Squats
50 yard Mosey
100 — Overhead Presses
75 yard Mosey
75 — KB Swings
100 yard mosey
50 — Thrusters
125 yard Mosey
25 — Burpees

COT

Now, back to the “Disclaimer Comment” regarding our proverbial “holidays”. Simply put, interpretation of holidays has now become quite the comical topic in our daily grammatical semantics. Of course, most would consider certain “holidays” fairly universally celebrated in terms of “time off” such as Christmas/Independence Day etc.
Today’s COT was neither about what we deem as holidays, nor which holidays should or should not be celebrated. Today’s COT was about the fact that most of these holidays represent some sort of historical significance, and while most of us, at the very least, recgonize or celebrate this historical significance; we are often very detached from that actual significance and it’s often by no fault of our. These historical events simply happened long before us.
Therefor, our responsibility is to focus on the “Now” and the “Who” in which and for whom we make history. What really matters? What really matters are the “holidays” we make with those most important to us. Celebrate George Washington, cool. Are you celebrating your 2.0’s improvement in reading? Celebrate Independence Day, cool. Are you celebrating the fact you get to enjoy Independence by celebrating a random date night with your M?
Bottom line: recognize the importance of history so we can avoid past mistake and build upon positive achievements, BUT let the celebrating of history come with those of whom you make it…

Moleskin

My playlist once again garnered some nice Mumblechatter from the Hack Pack.
Loggins does not know Messina
Mercer is in Macon but also in Atlanta and it’s really freaking expensive to get a pharmacy degree and to live there…

News

Tuff Muff this Saturday 02/25/2023
Come visit Shot House on Saturday 03/25/2023 for a fun morning of Capture the Flag
Chubby’s still and always will need volunteers, items, and prayers

BOM

Recent Backblasts

February 14, 2023

Shafted at The Battery

QIC: Clothespin

Date: 02/14/2023

PAX: Family Tree, 9Volt, Pipeline, Cooter, Abercrombie, Duvet

AO: The Battery

Conditions

Clear and cool! Perfect for working on our night moves!
phal·lic
/ˈfalik/
Learn to pronounce
adjective
relating to or resembling a phallus or erect penis.
“a phallic symbol”
PSYCHOANALYSIS
of or denoting the genital phase of psychosexual development, especially in males.
“the phallic phase”

COP

SSH (IC)
Forward Fold
LBAC Forward (IC)
LBAC Reverse (IC)
Overhead Claps (IC)
Willy Mayse Hayse (IC)
Mosey to stop sign with block
Seal Claps (IC)
Mosey up the hill with block to the main attraction!

The Thang

It’s Valentines Day and we all know what they want…..
Cupids Arrow?
Pax placed their blocks at the curls cone an proceeded in a coc.. I mean clockwise direction staying tight to outside of the cones as their path. Making the shape of “Cupids Arrow”….
The exercises along the way included:
25 Curls to impress your date
25 Squats with arms extending out to giver her a note or flowers
25 Hillbilly Walkers cause you’re dancing on this date
25 Pickle Pointers to represent post date activities
As Pax made their way around the “arrow” the reached the married years. In true fashion they get it 1 time a year which is represented by the 25 Monkey Humpers on the other side of the “arrow” shaft.
The Q turned on music appropriate for Valentines Day and the Pax rinsed and repeated as many times as they could until time was called. Like usual all the Pax were completely wasted at the completion of the mornings activities. Which, didn’t really last that long.

COT

Learn Tongue Control!!!

As parents, husbands, leaders and friends the things we say and how we say it can influence people in many ways. It is important to bridle our tongue and control what we say and how we say it. Don’t let anger push your tongue out of control. I have a child that is special needs, has trouble sleeping and will sometimes get up in the night. When he gets up he is up. It doesn’t matter the time. I have to be careful how I respond to these situations. Me blowing up just because I am tired doesn’t help the situation it just makes it worse. I tend to wear my feelings on my sleeve and I have to be really careful to reign that in.

Moleskin:

This workout was harder than expected…
I did it many more times than I expected…
This can’t come to an end quick enough…
Thanks for shafting us today Clothespin….
Why is everyone posting their Strava and Apple stats that looks like penises?….

There are many speculations as to the origin of shape we often use to depict the heart:

If you didn’t study anatomy at all you might assume that the heart shape such that we use for Valentine’s Day cards was what was at the core of our being.

The muscular organ that runs our body in reality is not shaped much like the heart shape at all. So where did the Valentine’s day heart come from?

The conventional heart symbol is used to express the idea of love or adoration. It is metaphorical in link to the human heart, with the idea that love is a feeling expressed and felt within the heart.

The shape used is much more streamlined, simple, and frankly attractive than the lumpy fistful of muscle that is in our chests. While beautiful in its intricacy in its own way the shape is rather jumbled and confusing and would not be easily drawn or jotted on a love note.

The heart shape we all recognize, and use originated back to an ancient plant known as the silphium. It was a species of giant fennel grown on the North African coastline near the Greek city of Cyrene. It was used as medicine, a flavoring spice, but more importantly as birth control. Because of this it was linked with sex and of course love.

There is also speculation of it being modeled after human anatomy of the breasts or buttocks, as well as that of the water lily leaf or ivy.

The first depiction known was in the 1250’s. It showed up in a French romance called Roman de la Poire (Romance of the pear). But others question if that wasn’t just an upside-down pear…

Medieval art also showed some heart like shapes in the early 1300s. The famous Italian painter Giotto did a painted depiction of charity in the Scrovengi Chapel in which a heart is given to Jesus. This painting had a big impact on the use of the shape of the heart going forward in representing the human emotional range in visual form.

Interestingly, until the later 1400s the heart was usually shown upside down. At the beginning of the 1500s it flipped in images to the heart we see today point at the bottom.

My favorite theory however, is that it is shaped after the buttocks of a woman!!! Cause we all know that Fat Bottom Girls Make the Rocking World Go Round!!!!!

News

Pray for Abercrombie and his M, Pray for Pipeline’s friend with cancer, Tuff Muff 2/25, Capture the Flag 3/25, Poker Ruck 4/1

Recent Backblasts

February 10, 2023

Florida Man Caught Admiring His Own Glutes in a Local Jack’s Restaurant

QIC: Mr. Clean

Date: 02/10/2023

PAX: Deer Jack, Florida Man, Milkman, Ponce (Respect), Shake and Bake, Shea, Starbucks, Tar Heel, Tasty Cakes

AO: Shot House

Conditions

A cool and crisp 38 degrees.

COP

SSH x25 IC
Forward Fold
Willie Mays Hays x12 IC

The Thang

Some mumbling about “all you really need is Side Straddle Hops and Willie Mays Hays to get warm”, so we moseyed to the track and got ready for the Thang.

Pushing the Gluteus to the Maximus

Every round of exercises was completed in increments of 25 reps. For example: Monkey Humper Round — Pax covered 1200 Yards.

150 – Monkey Humpers
Run 100 yds after each set
125 – Swimmers (Hard Count)
Run 50 yds after each set
100 – Fire Hydrants w/Leg Extension (Hard Count)
Run 100 yds after each set
75 – Reverse Crunches
Run 50 yds after each set
50 – Leg Raises
Run 100 yds after each set
25 – 8 Count Body Builders

COT

First, an apology to the Shot House regulars particularly those in attendance on Wednesday as I failed to honor an HC in lieu of a Heart Sack with The M.
Second, we preach of accountability and candor, the value of it, and how it is a very strong aspect in F3 Chattanooga. All of these things I strongly agree with; however, I also wanted to point out; that in our accountability in F3, we have something far greater. We are a group of leaders full of compassion, thoughtfulness, and empathy, and so many of our Pax know how to “read the proverbial room” in terms of helping other Pax maintain accountability. For example, whether than simply telling a guy struggling with weight or fat loss that he needs to get his butt up, workout, and eat less, we have the ability to express this same advice in the appropriate way to motivate those around us. This is a special trait. Simply put, not enough can be said for dropping copious amounts of positivity and encouragement to those around you.

BALL OF MAN: We had one…

Moleskin

Compliments received today:
“I should have gone to Detention”
“This sucks”
“I make a motion to change these to easy count”
“I hate this already”
“You know what, how bout we just go ahead and get those coupons after all”
Additional MC overheard:
“I am not coordinated for this! Well, just know you will drown Shake.”
“I’m really going to be admiring my glutes later”
“What the heck is the difference in these; because (ahem) yeah they feel soooo different on my abs.”
“No one actually believes your that age Ponce, it’s not scientifically possible…Starbucks checked.”
“My butt hurts in so many places…….”

News

Check out the Announcements Channel on Slack. It has a nice detailed list of upcoming events.
February 25, 2023 — Tuff Muff
March 25, 2023 — Capture the Flag at Shot House

Recent Backblasts

February 2, 2023

Kiss The Groundhog

QIC: 9-Volt

Date: 2/2/2023

PAX: Cooter, Show Tunes, Pipeline, Cheney, El Chappo, Duvet, Tape Deck

AO: The Battery

Conditions

There is no way that this winter is *ever* going to end as long as this groundhog keeps seeing his shadow. I don’t see any other way out. He’s gotta be stopped. And I have to stop him

COP

PAX Meet at the Pavillion

SSH	In Cadence	20
Fwd Fold – Fwd	In Cadence	10
Fwd Fold – Rev	In Cadence	10
Baby Arm Circles – Fwd	In Cadence	10
Baby Arm Circles – Rev	In Cadence	10
Seal Clap	In Cadence	10
Overhead clap	In Cadence	10
Raise The Roof	In Cadence	10
Chinook	In Cadence	10
Seal Clap	In Cadence	10
SSH	In Cadence (Allegro)	10
Willy Maze Haze	In Cadence	10

The Thang – Every day is exactly the same and nothing you do matters

Groundhogs spend the winter in their burrow and emerge periodically to check the weather. If they see their shadow they go back in for 6 more weeks. The PAX will do an exercise on one side of a pick nick table then crawl to the top of their burrow (Top of table) and perform 3 groundhogs before checking the weather (Answering a question) If the answer is correct the PAX crawls down the other side of the burrow and performs a new exercise. If the answer is incorrect (sees shadow) the PAX crawls back to the starting side and performs the SAME exercise again.

Exercise	Count
Decline Pickle Pointers	20	Hard Count
Bird Dog	20	Hard Count
Merkins	15
Donkey Kicks	10
Plank leg raise	10	each leg
Ground Hog crawls		Out n Back
Mt. Climber	20	Hard Count
Crab Cakes	20
Sit ups	20
Lounge Act	10	each side
Burpees	10

The 3rd annual Ground Hog Day Celebration Play List

KISS THE GROUNDHOG

1 True/False – The goundhog is a rodent belonging to a group of ground squirrels call marmots.
2 True/False – Kiss has earned most Gold albums than any band from the United States.
3 True/False – The Movie “Groundhog day” has been selected for preservation in the National Film Registry
4 How many times has Ace Frehley left the band? -3
5 What are young groundhogs called – Chucklings
6 Groundhogs, are known as whistle pigs. Do they actually whistle? – yes
7 Who was the lead singer of KISS? – Gene Simmons
8 True/false – The Groundhog is also known as a Hoary Marmot?- False the hoary marmot is a cousin to the groundhog.
9 Describe Gene Simmons make up? – Demon
10 True/False – Gene Simmons is related to Richard Simmons? – False (But wouldn’t the world be a better place if it was true)
11 True/False – Gene Simmons real name is Chaim Witz – True
12 True/false – Richard Simmons was born in New orleans and his real name is Milton Teagle Simmons – True
13 True/False – The Bed and breakfast that Phil stays at is an actual bed and breakfast in Punxsutawney PA? -False
14 True/False – Gene simmons and Paul Stanley are both jewish – True
15 True/false – Goundhogs can climb trees? – True
16 Between 1964 and 1971 how many groundhogs were hunted and killed in Kentucky annally? – 267,500
17 Where was the the movie “Groundhog Day” filmed? – Woodstock IL
18 True/False – The KISS logo is different in Germany because the SS’s happened to look similar to the insignia of the Nazi SS, a symbol that is outlawed -in Germany – True
19 In the movie “Groundhog day” what is Phil’s last name? – Connors
20 True/False – Richard Simmons failed to show up to lead his exercise class in 2014 and has not been seen since -True
21 True/False – KISS was voted as the “Best Metal/Hard Rock Band” of 1996 – True
22 What is the maximum age of a groundhog I the wild? – 6 years
23 How old is Richard simmons? – 74
24 What year was the album “Lick it up” released? – 1983
25 What year was the movie “Ground Hog Day” released? – 1993
26 True/false – Badgers are included in the list of predators of groundhogs in the eastern united states- True
27 Do males or female groundhogs emerge from hibernation first? – Male
28 True/False – Bill Murray was sued by an actual weatherman named Phil Connors? False 29 True/False – Ground hog burrows have bathrooms? – True
30 At his peak, how much did Richard Simmons weigh? 268lb
31 True/False – If an infinite number of monkeys were put in a room long enough they would eventually write the back blast for this workout – True
32 True/false – Gene Simmons was born in Isreal – True

COT

It can seem like every day is the same as the last and nothing you do makes any difference, just like this beat down. But now that it’s over and we’re looking back on it, we have accomplished something that only 8 people managed this morning. That says alot about us. Possibly not good things but alot of things just the same. Additionally, it was educational even though you may rather not know most of the answers.

Moleskin

Respect the Groundhog
Cooter was offended by the fact that KISS had more gold albums than any other band in the U.S.
Duvet cheated by studying Groundhog trivia and he missed every question
Where IS Richard Simmons?

News

Recent Backblasts

November 4, 2022

Why is the rum gone?

QIC: 9-Volt

Date: 11/02/2022

PAX: Cooter, Headgear, Escobar, Full Moon, Toe Tag, Gutterball, Love Boat…..Hell, I don’t know, Gloom bot is broken

AO: Hacksaw

Conditions

What if Elvis was cast as Cap’t Jack Sparrow and Pirates of the Caribean was a musical

COP

PAX circles up and counts off into 1’s and 2’s
For the entirety of the beat down group 1 must talk like a pirate and group 2 must do Elvis impersonations.

SSH	In Cadence	10
Willy Maze Haze	In Cadence	10
SSH	In Cadence	10
Forward Fold	In Cadence (As God intended)	10
SSH	In Cadence	10
Windmill	In Cadence	10
Baby Arm Circles – Fwd	In Cadence	10
Baby Arm Circles – Rev	In Cadence	10
Seal Clap	In Cadence	10
SSH	In Cadence (Allegro)	10

The Thang – The dredd pirate Elvis

PAX moseys to the library parking lot where there are two stations spaced 30 yards apart.
Station 1 is labeled “Away boarding party” and station 2 is “Viva Las Vegas” and each has a list of exercises. The PAX will perform the exercises in order then scream “Away boarding party” or “Viva Las Vegas ” while sprinting to the opposite station. All mumble chatter must be as Elvis or a pirate.

AWAY BOARDING PARTY	Count	VIVA LAS VEGAS	Count
Jump Squats	10	Lunge	10
Hand release Merkins	20	Big Boy Sit up	20
Crab Jacks	20	Lounge Act	20
Calf Raises	50	Pickle pointers	20
Captain Thor (hard count)	20	Ground Hogs	10
Carolina Dry Dock	25	Crab Cakes	20
Little baby crunch	30	Frankinsteins	20
Burpees	10	High Knees	20
Monkey Humpers	20	Hello Dolly	20
Wide arm merkins	20	Standing leg lift (to the side)	20
Bear Crawl to other side		Flutter Kick	20

Extra Credit was given for farting while performing standing leg lifts
Contestants were disqualified if they shit themselves

The proposed soundtrack for the new Elvis version of the Pirates of the Carabean was played loudly for the enjoyment of the citizens of Collegedale

COT

“The problem is not the problem. The problem, is your attitude about the problem.
Captain Jack Sparrow

Moleskin

A pirate walked into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants. The bartender asked him “Hey buddy, why do you have a steering wheel in your pants?” The pirate said (In a piratey voice) “I don’t know, but it’s driving me nuts”
To err is human ut to ARRR is pirate
Only pirates can get away with saying “Yo…Ho”
I want to be a pirate but I can’t get my ship together
No cause is lost if there be but one fool left to fight for it
Why don’t pirates shower before they walk the plank? Because they’ll just wash up on shore later.
Why is pirating so addictive? They say once ye lose yer first hand, ye get hooked!
How do pirates know that they are pirates? They think, therefore they ARRRR!!!!!
What happened when Bluebeard fell overboard in the Red Sea?He got marooned.
How did the pirate get his Jolly Roger so cheaply? He bought it on sail.
What has 8 legs, 8 arms, and 8 eyes? 8 pirates.
What does a dyslexic pirate say? RRRRRRA!
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet? Because they can spend years at C
How much did the pirate pay for his peg and hook? An arm and a leg.
How do pirates prefer to communicate? Aye to aye!
How do ye turn a pirate furious? Take away the “p.”
What does a vegan pirate do in jail? Starrrrrve!
What’s a pirate’s favorite type of exercise? The plank!
What did the pirate say when he became an octogenarian? Aye matey years old!
What did the first mate see down the toilet? The Captains log
Why do pirates bury their treasure 18 inches under the ground? Because booty is only shin deep!
What do you call a stupid pirate? The pillage idiot!
Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves, a captain and his crew were in danger of being boarded by a pirate ship. As the crew became frantic, the captain bellowed to his First Mate, “Bring me my red shirt!” The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain’s red shirt, which the captain put on and led the crew to battle the pirate boarding party. Although some casualties occurred among the crew, the pirates were repelled. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending boarding parties. The crew cowered in fear, but the captain, calm as ever, bellowed, “Bring me my red shirt!” Once again the battle was on. However, the Captain and his crew repelled both boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day’s occurrences when an ensign looked to the Captain and asked, “Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?” The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, exhorted, “If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the wound and thus, you men will continue to fight unafraid.” The men sat in silence marvelling at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, “Bring me my brown pants!”

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The Thang – Fat Guy In A Little Coat Shirt

COT

Moleskin

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The Thang – Soul Train Tribute

COT

MoleskinGreat sphincter control was demonstrated by all in attendance

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The Thang

COTLife often doesn’t come with a rule book. You have to figure it out on your own and it helps to have a sense of humor.

Mole Skin

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The Thang:

COT

Moleskin

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One would think that Trackday would be running. Make some laps gets some miles and go home… Well not today!

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COT

Moleskin

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The Thang

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Moleskin

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The Thang

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Moleskin:

My favorite theory however, is that it is shaped after the buttocks of a woman!!! Cause we all know that Fat Bottom Girls Make the Rocking World Go Round!!!!!

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The Thang

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Moleskin

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The Thang – Every day is exactly the same and nothing you do matters

COT

Moleskin

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The Thang – The dredd pirate Elvis

COT

Moleskin

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Moleskin
Great sphincter control was demonstrated by all in attendance

COT
Life often doesn’t come with a rule book. You have to figure it out on your own and it helps to have a sense of humor.