The Mountain PAX See Things in the Sky with the Naked Eye that Others Pay to See on an App, or So I was Told

QIC:  Gusher

Date: 09/21/2022

PAX: Musket, Gambler, Baloney, Shogun, Mansiere, Zima, Prosciutto, Pediasure, Yellow 5, Squirt, Jorts, Worm Trick

AO: Convoy


Today’s Details of the weather brought to you by the doppler system and confirmed by the existentialist experience of 13 men, none of whom were Recycle or Burrito and because of said absence a little piece of YHC died inside. But honestly, everything else was well nigh perfect. Wind, unlike one’s bowels after General Tsao’s of Shang-Ri-La, calm. Humidity eeking out a solid B- at 81% to remain in the honor’s barometric pressure class for one more week. UV Index at 0, allegedly due to sunrise not taking place until 7:28am. Way to fart sack yet again, sunshine. Often, YHC wanders the streets of Chattanooga and thinks to self, “If only the sun HC’d I could tell if anyone else around here goes to F3; it is just so difficult to recognize people clothed and in the light.” One time a man shouted YHC’s name at The Walker Theater. The M asked, “weird, you know that guy?” “Never seen him in my life!” Name gets repeated again. “Seriously, you know that guy?” Feeling a bit interrogated at the moment, “No, I do not know that man!” And a third time. “Do you know him?” asks the M convinced I am hiding something as there doesn’t seem to be a large swath of citizens of Gig City with either the name Gusher or the ailment of hemorrhaged hemorrhoids that gave birth to such a name (Could be wrong about that but HIPPA and all), YHC yet again now feeling a bit like St. Peter in his lowest moment, “Let’s go, I do not know that man.” Yet all the while, it was M.I.A. All because it was the UV Index was at a reasonable rate in the illumined Soldiers and Sailors foyer. Look, all one is saying is UV Index matters nothing when there is a free workout at 5:30am that is open to all men who want to get better. You don’t need the sun for that, but you do get to see other stars. Which is a nice segue to the visibility, which was anticipated at 1.5 miles. Albeit, not convinced. We got a stellar view of the North Star and the remainder of its Major Ursa at a cool 79.97 Light Years away (80 Light Years for the valley folk where stars take a little longer to see, but whatever). With such perfect conditions it is virtually serendipitous that “pax vobiscum” would be the word of the day. We received nature’s benediction and placed it in our hearts and ran like the gazelles we are into the wind that enveloped us in the coolness of the 67 degree morning. Really, couldn’t have been better.


Pretty much panicked on the warm-up. Been a good four months since posting so forgot the order of commands, starting position, in cadence, move with your willy mays hays and add a forward fold but not in cadence, and then do some SSH in cadence and then that’s enough. Monday’s FNGs returning for their second workout gave a nice disclaimer for the Q. Some real men leading real men here at the Convoy. Lots of good things happening here.

Its a Run Day, So Obviously Some Ab Work

Like a good Presbyterian we sprinkled some ab work into the mix. But in a hat tip to the Baptists, all participants were adults of varying degrees of moral discretion. A true ecumenical run was had.
It’s Run Day, Not Sure Why There Is a Subtitle to the Thang Title.
Warm up lap around the learning center up to the Apex and back down again to almost where we started. Broke into two groups. While Group 1A ran up the hill and back, Group 1B held plank. We alternated this for 3 cycles. Speaking of 3Cycles, Recycle was not there because apparently there was a VQ. Whatever. He missed my previous three Qs, but as St. Paul reminds us, Love doesn’t keep score, so YHC won’t either. PAX then mosey up to the track where there was a cone-assembled suicide course. Each cone strategically placed at the goal line, home 25 yrd line, 50 yard line, away 25 yrd line, and opposing goal line. While Group 1A did their run Group 1B did mountain climbers. The same goes for when 1B ran and 1A climbed mountains in a stationary position. Then a suicide run incorporating Bernies. Then two laps around the track with 20 reverse crunches at each end zone. YHC was also sad because no Burrito. So much sadness (Recycle and Burrito) mixed with so much happiness (1A and 1B) that it was like living in the middle of a Hemingway novel.

Be Rooted to That Which Is Stable and Unmoving

Read the following quotation: “Whoever marries the spirit of this age will find himself a widower in the next” (William R. Inge). This is a wise statement by a dude who didn’t live up to its wisdom but that is not really the point. The point is that if we seek to keep up with the shifting winds of ideologies we will never be able to keep up. And keeping up is not really the goal. We need to be rooted and grounded in something that is timeless, something that is worth and virtuous that transcends time. Let truth take deep root and find stability and teach it to those around us and to our children.
Some prayer requests and prayer and sweat.


For a variety of reasons YHC has been absent for four months. Nothing could have prepared him for the incredible growth of Convoy Run Day under the Convoy leadership of Jorts and Mansiere, two solid HIM. It was encouraging to see new F3 guys immediately acclimate to these free workouts that bestow un-cultlike monikers and terms. A genuine privilege to meet Musket, Gambler, Baloney, Shogun, and Worm Trick for the first time and a high water day to reunite with Jorts, Zima, Prosciutto, Mansiere, Squirt, Pediasure, and Yellow 5 (The Oxford Comma is alive and doing well, God Save the Queen, Long Live the King, and Long Live the Oxford Comma). Group 1A was super fast and consisted of Mansiere, Zima, Pediasure, Yellow 5, and Squirt – the collective IQ of this group exceeds the GDP of Burundi. Just a marvelous group. I may be missing someone in that group, but again, it was dark. Prosciutto introduced 1B to the heavenly Starlink and (The) Gambler informed us that we could see satellites in the sky with our naked eye that others see on an app that you have to pay for. I don’t understand much, but I believe him. He showed us. What is ironic is that William R. Inge who provided the COT quotation failed to heed his own advice as he advocated for nudism, a popular movement of the opening half of the 20th century that, fortunately, has not taken off (no pun intended). Nonetheless we saw nature with our naked eye and in so doing, we saw more satellites than Dave Matthews knew what to do with, not to mention more stars in the firmament than there were baggy-jeaned high school hormone raged flannel shirt boys with sea shell necklaces of the mid 90’s who learned to play Dave’s Satellite guitar intro to impress that girl during spirit week. Take that run-on sentence and try to diagram it, Mrs. Hubbard from 10th grade English! There is a wedding in Buffalo, NY this weekend or sometime soon. Buffalo is home to a Free Mason who makes the best wings in the world. I am sure there are a number of Free Masons who live in or near Buffalo, but as of now, our only interest is in the one who makes the best wings in the world. But the wedding is not going to be at Niagra Falls because it’s a bit overrated. Rainbow Lake Falls is more impressive and one doesn’t even need to don a poncho for that. And honestly, a poncho is a pretty tacky wedding outfit. An entire run playlist of The National would be surprisingly more motivating than it might immediately seem. But these days, with the casualization of societal dress (but not apparently as casual as the late Dean William R. Inge may have desired), the question is, “what constitutes wedding attire?” Suit and tie? Sport coat with no tie? Tie sans sport coat? This would have been a great time for Burrito to let us know as he has been sporting the tie since his days as a Blue Tornado.


Big Events in England. Otherwise, a relatively quiet day on the news front. There are F3 events on Thursday and Saturday. Q reveal not necessary as event will be taking place regardless of Q-Identity or weather.

October 3 – Mountain AOs organizing the Chubbys Ministry. Contact Jorts for details.