Burrito Almost Q’d at Hacksaw… ALMOST

QIC:  Me/Someguy

Date: 03/06/2020

PAX: A bunch of Rough and Rowdy Men

AO: Hacksaw


Beautiful. Arrived with the hope of smelling freshly melted queso and salsa, but soon realized all I was going to smell was the broccoli I had last night for dinner.


After waiting forever for our fearless leader to arrive, it was 5:30 A.M. and we were leaderless. Sensing the restlessness of the PAX, I took the reins. I presented two options: 1) AMRAP of eating tacos for 45 minutes OR 2) start a workout and lead these men to the promised land they so deserved. The PAX quickly reminded me that it wasn’t Tuesday, so Tacos were out of the question.

The Thang

Moseyed to the front of the library parking lot and called the first exercise. That’s right, the ole faithful Side Straddle Hop.

Commanding the men LOUDLY (in case there were other men near our vicinity that could hear us and decide to join us):

“NEXT EXERCISE, SIDE STRADDLE HOP” (“side straddle hop” echoed by the PAX)


“IN CADENCE” (“in cadence” echoed)


Made it through 10 reps before we were interrupted by someguy who reeked of moldy cheese and week old refried beans. He was insistent (maybe downright rude) on leading as Q for the rest of the workout. With the title of my favorite book in back of my mind (Freed to Lead), I obliged and stepped aside.

I pretty much blacked out after that, but I do remember a lot of grabbing my six, holding hands, and eating Little Debbie snack cakes (#1 AO for a reason, even if we don’t have a hill)


Always trust your instinct. If you are having dinner at your favorite Mexican restaurant and the server brings you a burrito (when you clearly ordered the chimichangas), don’t send it back. Simply get up and leave without saying a word. I promise, you will be better off. And besides, you are probably already full from 3 bowls of free chips and salsa.


Either from his lack of driving (surely he has a chauffeur) or lack of understanding how to approach a red light (I’m told Signal Mountain only has 1), Burrito decided to stop in the middle of the intersection.

After mispronouncing the name of the girl at Chick-fil-A who politely asked if she could take his order, Burrito responded with “I’m not sure what I want to order, because I don’t know what you have.” NEWSFLASH: Chick-fil-A serves… chicken. I guess when you live on the second tallest mountain above the clouds, you’re too high to see what us lowland folk eat.

I was told DNF was the heartthrob of Signal Mountain Middle School. My response was the obvious, “He’s the heartthrob of Hacksaw.”



WuzntMe: “Covid-19 can be sung at the same cadence and tune as Come on Eileen.”

Truly one of the smartest men I know.

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