Online Grammarians Announce First ‘R’ in February Is Not Really Silent…Expert Hedge Linguists React Accordingly and Sound Like Morons. Silent ‘R’ usage skyrocket

QIC:  Gusher

Date: 02/06/2021

PAX: A-A-Ron, Blue, Hambone (Respect), Pound Dog, Prosciutto, Snow Patrol

AO: Convoy


As the moon wanes into its introverted crescent form, it does so with the insecure embarrassment of being in its gibbous stage until the next new moon, FebRuary 11. Yet under the dissipating visibility of our melancholic lunar circulator, seven men descended upon Convoy with the confidence of a 16 yr old seventh grader with a moped. The temperature was an honest 28 degrees with none of his usual, ‘hey, I’m 28 but I feel like 19.’ Who needs that dishonestly in their life. And let’s be honest, when one is 28 and wants to appear 19, there is some deep seated issues at play. But not today. What you see is what you feel, and we felt all 28 of those degrees. And it felt nice. Wind was calm like that third student partner in 9th grade biology lab who neither participates nor complains, but is just there. The stars shown brightly illuminating the sky, much to the chagrin of the aforementioned brooding waning moon. “Hey, moon, be not downcast; (semicolon) we will pick up the six. It’s what we do, leave no heavenly body behind, and leave no heavenly body where you find it,” reassured the stars. The resident astrologer (who also happens to be the resident expert on all things gold chains, cannoli, etc…and we are all the better for this HIM) suggested that we multitask during Leg Ups by focusing on the large incandescent bodies above. Often times one will see a shooting star. YHC, however, couldn’t tell if the flash above was a shooting star or early onset glaucoma and/or astigmatism. All agreed the stars were pleasant. As they remain fixed above, there yet remaineth hope that one will be seen another day. And where hope runneth free, thine own heart rushes with exceedingly great joy. As Edmund Dantes poignantly stated, “til the day when God will deign to reveal the future to man, all human wisdom is contained in these two words,—’Wait and hope.’ Hedge Expert Linguists’ confidence is utterly shot as they wonder whether the ‘g’ in poignant is silent or not. They decide it is. Another win for phonics. Humidity was 72%, C-. Could do better if applied itself more.


SSH (IC), Forward Fold in Honor of AOQ, Willy Mays Hays, IW (IC), Lap around parking lot with random merkins to allow time to fix equipment.

8 Station Mile

As the title suggests, there are 8 stations around the track and the PAX will complete this 4 times for a total of one mile. The goal here is to be clear, not cute.
Cone 1: 15 Merkins and bear crawl to next cone; Cone 2: 20 BBSU and lunge to next cone; Cone 3: 30 Squats Bernie to next cone; Cone 4: 25 Dips mosey to cone; Cone 5: 30 Monkey Humpers Jail Break to cone; Cone6: 25 Leg Ups mosey to cone; Cone 7: Wide Merkins mosey to cone; Cone 8: 25 LBCs.

After Round 1, Rounds 2 and 3 increase the rep count; Round 4 same reps as at the start. In between Rounds 2 and 3 a cool down Indian Run to honor the next Full Moon known as the Snow Moon, FebRuary 27, 3:17am

MARY: Circle of monkey humpers, Freddie Mercuries, and BBSU


“Whoever corrects a mocker invites insults; whoever rebukes the wicked incurs abuse. Do not rebuke mockers or they will hate you; rebuke the wise and they will love you. Instruct the wise and they will be wiser still; teach the righteous and they will add to learning.” Proverbs 9:7-9.

Wisdom is the skill or ability to take the knowledge you have and apply it in the best way as you navigate this life with all its complexities, relationships, and spheres. We do not attain wisdom without pursuing it. As leaders, we are to be conscientiously pursuing wisdom that we may best serve those with whom we love and with whom we work. One facet of this pursuit is to always be teachable. It is never fun or enjoyable to receive correction, and all too easy to react defensively. Yet, properly receiving correction makes us more wise. Even a rebuke is something to be embraced because through that rebuke/correction we can learn lessons for later. Through our mistakes we can learn greater wisdom if we embrace it. Are we willing to listen, are we willing to learn, are we willing to receive rebuke and confrontion, are we willing to grow as men and as leaders in the context and spheres that we find ourselves in each day? Receiving correction wisely and being teachable will also help us when we are called upon to give correction and teaching. We do so humbly and not with a heavy hand. Let me encourage you all to pursue wisdom and the humility needed to change and to attain it.


The men of the mountain (ridge?) are truly among the greatest. The insight of each is astounding, willing to listen, to critique, to courageously address issues that may evoke fear in lesser men. How much does one actually need to know in order to invest in the market? These men will tell you. And they will do so while squatting. Do you ever want to know an official Italian review of a cannoli? Well, at Convoy you can get that while lying on your back and sitting up in a repeated fashion. It is amazing this is free. Sure, it comes with a disclaimer suggesting that despite all appearances, not a single man here is a professional. You are not going to find that transparency in any cult. Let’s say you need to conclusively determine the top three songs played while getting your teeth cleaned at the Dentist. If this is you, F3 exists for you. 1. Wilson Phillips, ‘Hold On for One More Day.’ Look, we all know there’s pain (this is a free workout for crying out loud), so why do you lock yourself up in these chains (because gold chains communicate things), someday somebody’s going to EH you and make you want to turn your life around. Don’t say goodbye, until then are you going to let ’em hold you down and make you cry? Don’t you know things will change, things will go your way (when you post), If you hold on for one more day (echo whisper, “woah, things will go your way if you hold on). 2. Modern English, ‘Melt with You.’ Because we all know that when your teeth are getting clean and you are searching for a dignified and manly way to suck on the vacuum tube so another person can remove your drool, you want to be thinking about an atomic bomb dropping on two lovebirds. There exists another story here about a hygienist with a prosthetic hook, but that is for another day. Truly the best hygienist around. YHC digresses. The Cold War was real folks. And Modern English understood what was stake. It’s the perfect dental song. #3: Any Phil Collins post-Genesis ballad. Yes, we can all feel it coming in the air tonight. Where does the Phil Collins ballad belong on the pantheon of F3 Playlists? Is dental office genre music an acceptable inclusion on F3 Playlists? And seriously, don’t forget to floss. It takes more than one Indian Run lap to figure out where peanut butter and chocolate land on the food pyramid. How does one interpret the levels of a pyramid (not asking for any Essential Oils here, although there is nothing wrong with that). Does Peanut Butter belong on the lowest but foundational level? Without peanut butter we are all building on sinking sand. Chocolate on the top as the pinnacle of all things dairy? If these questions increase your curiosity, Convoy might be for you. If you have any questions, you can contact Convoy’s AOQ (Burrito) Monday through Friday for a reasonable fee while also protecting shareholder value;;;;;;;; (illegitimate semicolon use) or contact Convoy’s Other AOQ at any time for free. Both men are solid and this is indisputable and worthy of affirming reception. If you have made it this far, then YHC would like to take this time to point you in the direction of 9Volt’s Groundhog Day Letter to F3 Chattanooga. Once upon a time, Edgar Allen Poe and Ernest Hemingway were considered two of the greatest American Short Story Writers. This is no longer that time. Not anymore, nay, not anymore. Poe’s macabre appears amateur and childish and Hemingway’s dialogue simplistic and solipsistic when all compared to the literary genius who works out among F3 men and will forever live in F3 lore, 9Volt. Dickens’ A Christmas Story will now fuel the fire with its pages on Christmas Eve as there is new story to instill wonder and merriment for children from henceforth and forevermore. We all echo the words of that 4th/5th century genius Augustine, with the same fervency and urgency, “Take up and read, Take up and read.” Just like those who fought in the battle on St. Crispin’s Day, our children and grandchildren will with eyes of unfeigned wonder ask us, “where were you when you first read the Groundhog Letter to Men of F3?” And we will say, “By jove, my dear son, my fair granddaughter, the man that standeth with gray hair and old agedness before thee was not covetous for gold nor does it concern what doth garments now worn or hath been worn in the days of vibrant youth, for today is Ground Hog’s Day, and the one who outliveth that day and hath read that Letter upon the day of its publishing will stand a tip-toe when this day is nam’d, for on this day as on that first day thine old man lieth upon the COT of slumber without slumbering and read the letter of which words have ne’er been such constructed, tears floweth down the lines upon the face for the shout of all men that day rang forth in such amazement, for 9Volt penned the letter of letters and from that day to the ending of the world Groundhog Day hath been known as St. 9Volt’s Day. We few, we happy few, we band of F3 HIM of F3 Chattanooga will forever be bound not by blood, nor by cheap manhood, but by the literary bond of Tuesday, FebRuary 2, in the Two thousandth and Twenty-first year of our Lord. From thence doth lie the reason why many of your classmates own the monicker, 9Volt, for their parents nameth them with the hope that one ounce of greatness may pass upon them as such as represented in such a name.”

FebRuary 6 Word of the Day: Limerence: “the state of being infatuated with someone, usually accompanied by delusions of or a desire for relationship with someone.” This is a made up word from 1977 by American Psychologist Dorothy Tennov. Further details of definition suggest that one ought to toss this word around with utmost care.


No news is good news.

Recent Backblasts