Next Exercise is a Movement So Move, Optional Cadence, And Someone Please –For the Love–Stop Saying the Early 80s Holds Superior Music Era Supremacy, And By “Someone,” We Mean Scott Simmons, Esquire, And By “We” YHC Means YHC.

QIC:  Gusher

Date: 08/17/2021

PAX: Old School (Respect), Basalt, Burrito, Holy Kiss, Hambone, Warlord, Forrest, Friday, Prosciutto, 8-Mile, Mansiere, The Count (Respect Deuce), Zima, Blow Pop, Manscaper, Yellow 5, Red Raider

AO: Smackdown


Conditions were prime. 65 degrees on the Fahrenheit scale, that being interpreted is 18.3333 Celsius for our Canadian HIM who hail from Weescaaahhhnsin don’t you know. Rain chance undersold itself with a 91% chance of rain prediction. Yet, in reality we had a 100% chance in actuality. One can never discern whether this prediction stems from humility or insecurity. Does the rain know it will fall for sure, but doesn’t want to come across as an arrogant jerk, thus giving off a 91% chance vibe? Or, is it genuine humility? Or is the paralyzing effect of impostor syndrome? Sometimes you just want to hold a dollop of rain in the hand and whisper, “It’s ok, little fella, there is a difference between arrogance and confidence. If you let us know what you know, we would be better prepared for you. Just tell us what you are going to do. We can take it. After all, we only get wet once.” Today’s moon phase is the waxing gibbous with an illumination count at 71%. Now, here is a percentage that precipitation could learn a thing or two. Rain either falls or it does not fall. Rain is either all in, or it is literally sitting this one out. However, illumination does indeed come in degrees and percentages. The very nature of a waning or waxing moon demands an illuminatory percentage. 71% is pompously precise. One gets the sense the moon and its protuberant gibbous is great to have at dinner parties or trivia night, what with always having to be precisely right and all. Rules are rules and the moon knows how to play. We do have Fred to thank for our ideal conditions, although as storms go, Fred appears to be the six as he has been downgraded to a Tropical Depression. Fortunately for F3-Fred, there is a metaphorical convergence with FiA Storms and Grace has gained some steam to Tropical Storm status to pick up Fred. Summary: weather was nice and there was a lot of water.


Possible confusion pertaining to commands: Notwithstanding said confusion and mixed cadence with eventual ceasing of cadence, PAX did the following: WMH (estimated 15 count), Forward Fold, SSH, 3rd Grade, Mosey Lap

AMR(ounds)AP: Final (21) Countdown

YHC, conscious of the rising inflation of F3 fees, seeks to maximize time and minimize idleness by passing out instructional cards on a heavy cardstock strong enough to withstand a Tropical Depression for 40 minutes. These HIM are not paying to stand around and listen to YHC bloviate instructions in an obfuscatory manner with unending circumlocutions. Time is money, so move.
Heavy Cardstock Contents: First round begins with 21 reps each of the following: curls, block squats, merkins, Block BBSU, Block Dips, Thrusters which were horrible, Block Leg Lifts, Block Bench Press.

After each round, PAX takes mosey lap around condensed track and finishes with 5 burpees. He decreases number of reps by one each round. As the title suggests, the goal is to perform as many rounds as possible.


Proverbs 12:25 – Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad.

We ought to strive to cultivate the habit of picking up the six in all areas of our lives. This is a point of emphasis in F3 in always being mindful of the six. There are many that surround us that are weighed down with anxieties and burdens. Let us be mindful and pick them up with a good word. Sometimes we may be the six in life, and there is no shame in that.


As always, with Smackdown PAX there is always chatter and it is filled with wisdom. Until the moment it is not. There is one particular PAX who has an unrelenting obsession with the Rockie Franchise (6 movies, 3 spinoff movies, 1 musical, 5 novelizations, 9 video games, 3 documentaries, 1 alleged Cold War Victory, and an aggregate score of 57 on Rotten Tomatoes which seems to be very generous). This mysterious love of the moving picture appears to prejudice this PAX against good music leaving him with the conclusion that John Cafferty and his enflamed heart epitomizes the gold standard of solid tunes. This foundational presupposition, faulty though it may be, fuels this PAX to conclude confidently that the early 80s was the height of music. Look, you will get no pushback from the likes of Bananarama, but that should cause one to pause at the epistemological travesty being proffered so early in the morning. It doesn’t matter how much a flock of seagulls drop digestation on the head, nothing is further from the truth than the claim that the early 80s embodies the high point of music. To be sure, there was stellar stuff, but it didn’t arise from the likes of Survivor and their burning heart. Even the creativity is lacking. Survivor has a Burning Heart and Cafferty’s Heart is on Fire. These are literally the same message. All that is changed is the grammatical and syntactical structure. Speaking of Burrito, his SSH form is impeccable. Solid guy. Love him. He is the best. He has more best friends than Survivor has hits and Rockie has movies. The Count graced us with his presence due to the irresistible Slack EHing of Zima. The Count traverses more land in the night than Lewis and Clark surveyed in years. Truly worthy of double respect. Everyone seems to disdain Thrusters. And when YHC writes “seems” he means “this is a true statement and worthy of all acceptation” people hate thrusters. Hambone returned to the gloom and all became right with the world. Well, almost right. His return coincided with Recycle’s absence. And when Recycle sleeps, the angels cry and we are left to swim in their tears. And the angel’s had a 91% cryfest this morning one-hundred percent of the time. Yellow 5 turned 40, yet he is feeling young and spry. Gazelle like, one might say. Mansiere posted, which means 17 other guys got smarter just by osmosis of wisdom. Prosciutto and Zima know music like Mozart knows concertos. There is more to scribe no quill could contain the ink that could adequately convey the brilliance of Smackdown’s HIM. There was a lot more mumble chatter and moleskin-worthy material but YHC just finished his coffee so that brings this banal solipsistic tommyrot exercise to a close. Smackdown PAX are the best.

Playlist: Judah and the Lion, Uncle Mingo, They Might Be Giants, Barenaked Ladies, Counting Crows, Matthew Mayfield, Trent Dabbs, The Killers, Jimmy Eat World, Jump Little Children, Rusted Root, The Black Crowes.


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