Tuff Muff 2 (Lions Den, Landfill, Hill City, 2/22/20)

QIC:  Peanuts (LionsDen)/TheCount (LandFill)/SideKick (HillCity

Date: 02/22/2020

PAX: Mr. Clean, She Shed, Vaccine, Wuzntme, Burrito, Fissure, Skitch, Prosciutto, Sidekick, Jaywalk, Rocket Man, Escobar, Ducktales, John Doe, The Count (Respect x 2)

AO: Lions Den, Landfill, Hill City


Cool Beautiful Morning (29 Degrees at LionsDen at StartEx and 38 Degrees by EndEX at HillCity)


N/A. If you show up to this thing and need a warm up you are already in trouble.

The Thang

Lions Den (aka LD) – Peanuts on Q

Mosey to the bleachers and pax counted off into pairs. Attempted music – failed (repeatedly pointed out by Pro-sec-utt-ios (definitely spelled it write this time)). And now for something completely stupid and utterly pointless, or, if you want to feel better about yourself, a Tuff Muff….

  1. Round 1: Pax 1 = Inverted Row x 75/Pax 2 = Box Jumps up bleachers. Rotate. Continue until 6 is in. Return to track and mosey to the other bleachers.
  2. Round 2: Pax 1 = Dips x 150/Pax 2 = Run the stairs up and down all four sets. Rotate. Continue until 6 is in. Return to track and mosey to the other bleachers.
  3. Round 3: Pax 1 = Bulgarian Split Squats x 200/Pax 2 = Indian Run around the track. Continue until 6 is in. Return to track and mosey to the other bleachers.
  4. Round 4: Pax 1 = Inc Merkins(started with 200 and redux to 150 for time)/Pax 2 = Box Jumps. Continue until 6 is in. Return to track and mosey to the flag.

LandFill (Q-TheCount) Burpee Apocolypse followed by Deck of Pain
Warm Up – SSH (20 IC) followed by 10 Burpees. Rinse and repeat 20 SSH IC followed by 9 Burpees continue until 20 SSH IC and 1 Burpee.

Deck of Pain (2-10 Cards – Add 10 Reps of Seconds to number on card and perform exercise on card. Jack/Queen/King – 25 Reps of exercise on card. Aces – 100 Reps of exercise. Of note 80 Burprees were performed between Apocolypse and Deck of Pain. 250 IC- SSH were performed. Incline Merkins, Decline Merkins, Merkins, Ranger Merkins, Chuck Norris Merkins, 100 Flutter Kicks, Bear Crawls, Squats and lunges.

My Pet Rock(s) – Hill City – SIdekick

Grab a monster rock and a smedium rock. Series of exercises with monster rock, 15 reps each. Smedium rock about 30 yards away, used for bench press and core exercise coupon.

Round 1 – Curls – Bear Crawl – Bench press and Core; Mosey back

Round 2 – Bent over Rows – Bear Crawl – Bench Press and Core; Mosey back

Round 3 – Overhead press – Bear Crawl – Bench press and core; Mosey back

Round 4 – Goblet squats – Lunge- bench press and core; Mosey back

Round 5 – Bench press – Traveling Burpees – Bench Press and Core; mosey back



There were three; each more exciting than the next.


  1. Prosciutto’s Musings:
    1. Crossfit exercises are not equal to the rest of the world’s exercises; in name or in execution
    2. What exactly is a squat thruster anyway?
    3. Berating and yelling about form encourages the pax to work harder and improves morale
    4. Next year’s event planning will include a “Route Q”. Some pax have indicated/shown (?) that it’s tough to remember two turns.
    5. Lillie Mae’s place brunch is the equivalent to a knock-out punch in the 10th round
  2. Sidekick’s Confessions
    1. I am a broken old man
    2. 4.3 miles is really not that far
    3. 2.1 miles after two beat downs and a 4.3 mile run, although downhill, still blows
    4. I almost shattered my face with my rock on rep 12 of the overhead press, hence the almost imperceptible inflection in my mostly gone cadence
    5. We all need to be skeptical anytime Mr. Clean evaluates something for size

3. Escobar’s mischief: shortly after leaving Lion’s Den, I was running alongside Fissure and made a few statements/questions. After talking for a minute, Fissure stated, “I don’t like to talk when I’m running. I hate running and by not talking it helps me get through it.” So I proceeded to carry on a conversation the rest of the run, trying to see if he would just ignore me or run away. He did neither.


The Tuff Muff is over, let us all go in peace.

Be on the lookout for future CSAUPs being planned and in the works

Recent Backblasts

    CSAUP 01 – The Inaugural “Tuff Muff”

    QIC: Ohms, Picasso, Prosciutto
    Date: 01/05/2019
    PAX: Candu, Care Bear, Cowbell, Deep End, Dirk, Ducktales, FNG-Uncle Fester, Fissure, Free Candy, Goose, Iron Butt (Respect), Jambo (Willy Loman), Laces Out (Respect), Milkman, Moondance, Mr. Clean, Ohms, Picasso, Prosciutto, Ringwald, Roadhouse, Shatner, Skitch, The Count (Respect), VSquared
    AO: Lions Den, Landfill, Hill City


    Got colder as the morning went on. Started out temps hovering around 40 degrees – by mid-morning temps were in mid 30s with windy conditions by the river. The joys of a 3 hour and 45 minute event

    The Disclaimer

    Delivered three times

    Lions Den (Ohms Q)


    – Quad Stretches Right Leg x 10 IC
    – Quad Stretched Left Leg x 10 IC
    – Finkle Swings x 15 IC
    – Windmills x 15 IC
    – Cotton Pickers x 15 IC
    – Willie Mays Hays x 15 IC

    The Thang

    Round 1 (Cardio)
    – SSH x 20 IC
    – High Knees x 15 IC
    – Wide High Knees x 15 IC
    – SSH x 20 IC
    – Ass Kickers x 15 IC
    – Imperial Walkers x 15 IC
    – SSH x 20 IC
    – Squat x 15 IC
    – Lunge x 15 IC
    – SSH x 20 IC
    – Slow jog around the track
    Round 2 (Infinity Plank)
    – Plank x 10 IC
    – Merkins x 10 IC
    – Plank x 10 IC
    – Carolina Dry Dock x 10 IC
    – Plank x 10 IC
    – Mountain Climbers x 10 IC
    – Plank x 10 IC
    – Makhtar NDiaye x 10 IC
    – Slow jog around the track
    Round 3 (Shoulder Blaster)
    – LAC (FWD) x 10 IC
    – LAC (REV) x 10 IC
    – Cherry Pickers x 10 IC
    – Chinooks x 10 IC
    – Cherry Pickers x 10 IC
    – Shoulder Press x 10 IC
    – Moroccan Night Club x 10 IC

    *Endex ~0600 – Mosey to Hill City

    Landfill (Prosciutto Q)

    After the disclaimer, it was decided that instead of yelling “Halt!” at the end of cadence exercises, Pax would yell “Muff!”


    Quick warm-up; no waiting – no stopping in between exercises
    SSH x 10 IC
    Mtn Climbers x 10 IC
    ST Merkins x 10 IC
    CDD x 10 IC
    Alternating Shoulder Taps x 10 IC

    SSH x 10 IC
    High Knees x 10 IC
    Lunges x 10 IC
    Wide High Knees x 10 IC
    Smurf Jacks x 10 IC
    Toe Merkins x 10 IC
    Prisoner Squats x 10 IC
    Jump Squats x 10 IC
    Toe Merkins x 10 IC
    Imperial Walker x 10 IC
    Pistol LBC x 10 IC
    American Hammer x 10 IC
    Dolly x 10 IC
    Flutter Kicks x 10 IC

    Elbow Plank x 10 IC
    High Plank & Hold Knee to chest (L/R) x 10 IC
    High Plank & Kick-out (L/R) x 10 IC
    High Plank with Moon Gods (L/R) x 10 IC
    Peter Parkers x 10 IC
    **Mosey to the rock pile for two small dwaynes**

    The Thang

    Steam Engine’s “Wall Blaster”
    Wall sit w/ Muhammad Ali x 15 IC
    Wall sit w/ Joe Frazier x 15 IC
    Wall sit w/ Push Press x 15 IC
    Wall sit w/ Side Raises x 15 IC
    Wall sit w/ Bus Driver x 15 IC
    Rinse & Repeat with little dwayne’s
    Air Chair & 1 round of “Prosciutto’s Gold Chain” (just because) x 20 IC
    *Mosey over to the little hill
    Death Crawl
    3 Merkins at every Cone; Bear crawl cone to cone
    *Mosey to pavillion
    Block Party
    (1:2 exercise ratio with coupons)
    1 merkin on rock – 2 rock curls
    2 merkins on rock – 4 rock curls
    3 merkins on rock – 6 rock curls
    4 merkins on rock – 8 rock curls
    5 merkins on rock – 10 rock curls
    -10 count-
    5 merkins on rock – 10 rock curls
    4 merkins on rock – 8 rock curls
    3 merkins on rock – 6 rock curls
    2 merkins on rock – 4 rock curls
    1 merkin on rock – 2 rock curls
    -10 count-
    1 merkin on rock – 2 shoulder press
    2 merkins on rock – 4 shoulder presses
    3 merkins on rock – 6 shoulder presses
    4 merkins on rock – 8 shoulder presses
    5 merkins on rock – 10 shoulder presses
    Wheel of Merkin x 3
    Grave Diggers Wheel of Nolan Ryan’s – L/R
    Incline/Decline/Dip routine – each to 10 IC – 3 rounds
    War Hammer (WWII Situp & American Hammer) – 1:4 ratio
    *Endex ~0800 – Mosey to Hill City

    Hill City (Picasso Q)


    Calf Raises x 10 IC
    Baby Arm Circles x 10, Reverse IC
    Calf Stretches x 20 seconds IC
    Parker Peters x 10 IC
    Quad Stretches x 10 IC
    Downward Dog x 10 IC
    Cobra Pose x 10 IC
    Back Stretch x 10 IC
    Stuck Windmills x 10, Swap

    The Thang

    Whole Lotta Rosie
    “Fourt’two thirt’nine fiftysix, You could say she’s got it all”
    42 – LBCs
    36 – Big Boy Situps
    59 – Flutter Kicks
    Thunder Struck
    “I was caught, In the middle of a railroad track, I looked round, And I knew there was no turning back”
    20 Merkins
    45 seconds Plank
    15 Merkins
    30 seconds Plank
    10 Merkins
    15 seconds Plank
    “Beating in my heart, The thunder of guns, Tore me apart”
    Let There Be Rock
    “In the beginning, Back in nineteen fifty-five, Man didn’t know about a rock ‘n’ roll show, And all that jive”
    5 Rock Squats IC
    10 Rock Chest Press IC
    15 Rock Curls IC
    20 Rock Rows IC
    It’s a Long Way to the Top (If You Wanna Rock ‘N’ Roll)
    “I tell you folks, It’s harder than it looks, It’s a long way to the top, If you wanna rock ‘n’ roll, It’s a long way to the top, If you wanna rock ‘n’ roll”
    Partner Rock Toss Up Mt Midoriyama [aka Daisy Chain] x 2
    Stiff Upper Lip
    “I keep a stiff upper lip, And I shoot from the hip, I keep a stiff upper lip, And I shoot, and I shoot, Shoot from the hip, Yeah, I shoot from the hip
    Left Side Plank x 20 IC
    Right Side Plank x 20 IC
    Willy Mays Hays x 20 IC
    Glute Bridges x 20 IC
    Pickle Pounders x 20 IC
    Hells Bells
    “Hell’s bells, Yeah, hell’s bells, You got me ringing hell’s bells, My temperature’s high, hell’s bells”
    All PAX hold Plank while one PAX at a time runs to the Drum Jungle and rings the bell. The faster each PAX runs and rings the bell, the faster we get done.
    Drum Jungle will be about 100 yards away
    Have a Drink on Me
    “So don’t worry about tomorrow, Take it today, Forget about the check, We’ll get hell to pay, Have a drink on me”
    DONE – TUFF MUFF 2019 in the books


    CSAUP 01 dedicated to Best-in-Show’s Dad who suffered a major stroke the morning of the event. Prayers go out to him and his family during this very trying time.


    • T-Claps to the guys who conquered the full Muff: Deep End, Mr. Clean, Picasso, Skitch, Ducktales, VSquared, Prosciutto, Fissure, Ohms, FNG-Uncle Fester, The Count
    • T-Claps to those who conquered the half-muff (Hill City to Coolidge): Ringwald, Laces Out
    • When you name an event like the “Tuff Muff” – the mumble chatter takes care of itself
    • Yelling “Muff!” instead of “Halt!” never gets old. Never.
    • Draw string bags aren’t the most comfortable running bags
    • Free Candy might be the most considerate dude ever – he brought water and poured it in individual cups for the CSAUP’rs and also offered some honeybuns to replenish electrolytes calories; What a guy!
    • Landfill dog-walker joined in on some dip action with dog on leash (Cade); said he knew a guy in F3 — yep! we all do 🙂
    • Let’s just say, we are glad the facilities at the Landfill were open today – What say you Fissure?!
    • Whole lotta Rosie might be tough to remember the measurements, but it sure isn’t tough to talk about that Rosie in the context of the Tuff Muff.
    • Whiskey in a plastic container looks like urine
      • Further, whiskey shot(s) after a CSAUP are now a staple (Thanks Picasso!)
    • Coolidge passerby who took photo at the end wearing Vancouver Canucks toboggan doesn’t watch hockey; but he took our photo so that’s awesome
    • Picasso loves AC/DC and is creative
    • Picasso drinks Kale Tonic medicinal tea after getting Muff’d; meanwhile, Ohms drinks whiskey laden coffee at a restaurant that doesn’t serve alcohol. It’s “Legal”.