My daughter turned 5 yesterday. She can count higher than Holy Kiss.

QIC:  Burrito

Date: 03/12/2020

PAX: Prosciutto, Whittler, PediaSure, Holy Kiss, Gusher, Laces Out, Recycle

AO: SmackDown


Delightfully pleasant, until the monsoon that hit precisely at 6:10 a.m.


1. Mosey x 400

2. 21 (with burpee penalty)

3. Willie Mays Hayes

4. Forward Fold

5. 20 Merkins (OYO)

6. Little Baby Arm Circles (not to be confused with “Baby Arm Circles”)

7. Little Moroccan Nightclubs

8. Little Ray Lewis

9. 21 (with another burpee penalty, because Holy Kiss is the only idiot on Signal Mountain who doesn’t know how to count to 21).

The Thang

Divide into teams of four (4). One member of each team goes to goalpost. Another member of each team goes to opposite goalpost. Two remaining members of each team start on goal line as runners.

On my “go,” it’s a relay, with the guys at each goalpost doing exercising, then being “tagged out” by the runners.

Round 1 (each team member runs 3 220s (down and back). Exercises on Goalposts: (1) Coupon Curls; (2) Merkins.

Round 2 — exercises: (1) Coupon Rows; (2) LBCs.

Then, to the Wall of Pain.

Round 1: Pass the Coupon down the row and back as each PAX sits on the wall.

Round 2: Pass the Coupon down the row. After each pass, the passer does 5 Merkins.

Finale: in a circle on the field, each PAX does two (2) John McCains with the Coupon as the other PAX hold plank.


This COVID-19 stuff is bananas, but the Psalmist states that we have no fear because our trust is in the Lord (Psalm 27:1-3).


I don’t really like any of these guys. To wit:

1. Whittler is, generically, mean. I bet his bedside manner is the best. He didn’t even stick around for the COT.

2. Prosciutto thinks he invented the Upright Row, and his gold chain blinds me early in the morning.

3. Laces Out thinks Memphis is better than UT, and also tried to make me believe that he was involved in a true kicking rivalry. A KICKING RIVALRY! That’s like saying Vanderbilt and Northwestern have a football rivalry.

4. Gusher criticizes and text shames me because I typically don’t do Backblasts. I’m going to heckle him during his next sermon.

5. PediaSure is a doctor, but can’t even answer all of my questions about the Coronavirus.

6. Holy Kiss can’t count, and makes us all look stupid.

7. Recycle is okay — he’s only been out there a week, so I haven’t found a reason to hate him yet. I’m sure I’ll find something soon.

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