Commit to the Winter Gloom @Smackdown

QIC:  Ghislaine

Date: 11/28/2023

PAX:   Mansiere, Old School, Gambler, Baloney, Recycle, Tootsie Roll, Happy Meal, Doula, Prosciutto, Catfish, Squirt, BiggTyme, Zima, Blow Pop, Mox

AO: Smackdown


Low to Mid 30s – Cold


Started with a mosey lap and then circled up. Continued with LBACs, Iraqi Ttime, Plank, Warrior Pose, and Third Grade Exercise.

The Thang

All exercises were done with a partner rotating with one another between motions. Exercises were intended to be completed cycling through the below list of motions every time partners rotated:

  • Exercises:
  • 100 Blockees -> Mosey Lap (1/4 mile)
  • 300 Big Boy Sit Ups -> Mosey Lap (1/4 mile)
  • 250 Block Presses -> Mosey Lap (1/8 Mile)
  • 200 Thrusters -> Mosey Lap (1/8 Mile)
  • 250 American Hammers -> Mosey Lap (1/8 Mile)
  • 150 Lizard Dances -> Mosey Lap (1/8 Mile)
  • 300 Curls -> Mosey Lap (1/8 Mile)
  • Motions:
  • Box Jumps up bleachers, 10 Johnny Dramas
  • Carry Block up bleachers, 10 Decline pushups
  • Up bleacher, squatting at every step, 10 incline pushups
  • Run to the back of the bleaches, 10 pull ups (Assisted or Not)
  • Bear Crawl to Cones


Always be courteous, always be kind, and most importantly once you start something don’t you ever stop until you are finished.


I was told after the workout that a lot of the PAX paired the motions with the exercise rather than cycling through each motion for each rotation during the exercise. Most of the PAX did an unholy amount of decline pushups :/


This was my first Q, thanks to everyone who came out. I’m grateful for this group.

Recent Backblasts

    The Tom Emanski of Q School


    QIC: Prosciutto

    Assistant to the QIC: Burrito

    Date: 08/17/2023

    PAX: Blow Pop, Wake, Wax On, Mox, Catfish, Old School, Ghislaine, Gambler, Bigg Tyme, Hen House, Burrito, Pomade, Pediasure, Tootsie Roll, Happy Meal

    AO: Smackdown


    Wet with grass trimmings everywhere. EVERY. WHERE.

    We’re near Fall, but it’s August, so it feels backwards. Meaning, it was 61 degrees with some real August energy; the humidity sitting tight at 69,000%. Which is mostly wet, but mostly nice.

    As with most things tracked through “the Steve” these days, here to report that the Foot Saturation Index was strong to quite strong, but no one complained about it. A great group of men here today. Trench Foot from wet grass clippings is a thing.

    We discussed the specifics of the Q, responsibilities and purpose of his role and how to structure the workout. The format of cadence and why we do it the way we do.

    The reasons are several: keeping the team together, exuding a presence or command of authority, provides a rhythm to pace with one another, cadence/direction helps the pax to fight through the pain of the exercise with the mind working separately from the body, not knowing the total rep count takes away any thought-process the pax may have from budgeting his physical resources at the time, a distinctive start and stop.

    Finally, the disclaimer was mentioned. The disclaimer is delivered ahead of the work being done. Make sure to hit the high points:

    1. I am not a professional
    2. You know your own abilities; stay within them
    3. Check your surroundings and pay attention
    4. This is a free men’s workout group, you are here (heavy presumption) voluntarily and not by some sort of authoritative force or decree


    Willie Mays Hays, Side Straddle Hop, Forward Fold, Quad Stretches, Yoga Poses, Controlled breathing, Warm-up lap

    The Thang

    Simple Four Station Workout

    Four cones are set out, Pax start at the first cone all with a block of their own.

    Cone 1: Perform all with coupon: 10 blockees, 10 Squats, 10 Dead Lifts

    Upon completion of first cone work, plank and hold for six

    Move to Cone 2 – pax transport half the number of blocks at Cone 1 to Cone 2 by way of Murder Bunny. Pax without a coupon, partner carry to Cone 2

    Cone 2: Assign 1 pax per block for 10 blockees; remaining pax perform Partner Merkins (10) and Carolina Dry Docks (10); plank for six

    Move to Cone 3 – pax transport half the number of blocks at Cone 2 to Cone 3 by way of Murder Bunny. Pax without a coupon, partner carry to Cone 3

    Cone 3: Assign 1 pax per block for 10 blockees; remaining pax perform Star Jumps (10) and Bonnie Blair’s (10); plank for six

    Move to Cone 4 – pax transport half the number of blocks at Cone 3 to Cone 4 by way of Murder Bunny. Pax without a coupon, partner carry to Cone 4

    Cone 4: Assign 1 pax per block for 10 blockees; remaining pax perform Mountain Climbers (10), Plank Jacks (10); plank for six

    Everyone does 10 burpees OYO

    Go backwards through the stations picking up blocks along the way. Same exercises performed at each. Mode of transportation stays the same.


    As the saying goes, “Ask 10 people their opinion on [insert anything], you’ll get 10 different answers”. I canvassed several men in F3 to provide me their opinion on “Top Tips for Leading a Workout”. Their answers were mostly similar. Intriguing. Except for the guy who wouldn’t stop talking about theme workouts!

    The most common responses:

    • If you can’t do it, don’t Q it
    • Over plan what you think you might need; have a plan and have a backup plan just in case
    • Be prepared for anything
    • The Q is not about you!

    The most confusing responses:
    – “Don’t put too much emphasis on the COT; speak your mind”
    – “the COT is more important than the workout. The Q is the ticket to speaking your mind at the end”.

    Most mindful:

    • Start and End on time
    • Keep an eye on / stay with the six (Leave no Man Behind)

    Clearly, there’s more than one way to go about leading which makes this so special. We are all different, have seen different things and come from different backgrounds. This is an extension of leadership. Everyone gets to add their own creative spin for the betterment of fellow man. In the end, nothing but respect, fist bumps and sweet sweet validation, and positive affirmation awaits.

    Go get out there and Q it!


    Asked Burrito to be my demonstrator pawn today. Only demonstrate, no need for him to do anything else. He literally cannot do anything without talking. Work in progress.

    Burrito must have been kicked out of his house – so you might find him sleeping at AOs. If you do see him sleeping, just wake him up. That worked well this morning.

    A video was made about today’s Q School — here is a preview of the bootleg version with endorsement by 2023 Hall of Famer Inductee Fred McGriff.

    Partner carries are making a comeback. At one time, they were more popular than murder bunnies; why not do both at the same time?


    There were announcements and news was shared

    Recent Backblasts

      Recycling Field Trip

      QIC:  Recycle

      Date: 3/8/2022

      PAX: Mansiere, Zima, Rubberneck, Pomade, Prosciutto, 8 Mile, Manscaper, Old School(RESPECT), Laces Out(RESPECT), Gusher, Pound Dog

      AO: Smackdown


      35 degrees at the disclaimer.

      The field was muddy and Manscaper got new shoes so let’s head out to the dry parking lot


      Mosey to the Fortune House parking lot
      FF OYO
      LOR OYO
      ROL OYO
      WMH x10 IC
      MCPU x10 IC
      TGE x10 IC
      LBAC x10 IC
      Rev x10 IC
      OP x10 IC
      MNC x10 IC

      The Thang

      In the fire lane in front of Fortune House:

      10 Merkins
      20 Monkey Humpers
      30 LBCs

      Bear crawl to the first line, 25 toe merkins, bear crawl back, 10/20/30, repeat.

      Bear crawl one more line each time out.

      Mosey back to the flag.



      Remove whatever it is that is holding you back.

      Any regret, shame, doubt, way out…..remove it and move forward.

      Burn the ships and leave yourself no other path but acceleration.


      Playlist: 311, Alice In Chains, Tantric, Beastie Boys, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Jane’s Addiction, U2, Rage Against The Machine

      Thanks for listening, Prosciutto

      Manscaper got to wear his new shoes since we stayed out of the mud and he looks SUPER FAST in them!


      Some Qs coming up, lots of #3rd-f opportunities.….Zima talks so dang fast

      Recent Backblasts

        Redeem the Theme (Gotta Go Fast)

        QIC:  Mansiere

        Date: 02/01/2022

        PAX: Pediasure, Zima, Truck Stop, Gusher, Whittler, Recycle, Friday, Blow Pop, Manscaper, Warlord, Prosciutto, Yellow 5, 8-Mile, Squirt, Natty Lite, Jorts, Old School (RESPECT), Shank, Pomade

        AO: Smackdown – The Summit of F3 Chattanooga


        The first day of February. After a brutal January, spring still feels so far away. Nevertheless, the mid-30s temperature and dry ground was more than welcome, and we took full advantage of it.


        What a turnout! We made our big ellipse in the field, and the cones strewn haphazardly about got some curious looks. No time to dawdle, though. Let’s get to it!

        • Imperial Squats
        • Windmills
        • Overhead Claps
        • Raise-the-Roof
        • Cherry Pickers
        • Seal Claps
        • Crop Dusters (h/t Squirt for the idea, which he debuted at his VQ the day before)
        • 10 Octanes
        • Mosey lap while I explained…

        …The Thang

        You can count on Prosciutto for two things:

        1. Complain if he doesn’t like the workout
        2. Complain about said workout for at least a year following

        Pro has been on Burrito nearly every posting since that day last February, fussing about the “themed workout” that he led. YHC thinks the workout was fantastic and worthy of Chattanooga’s premier AO. I say this even though it started with a running challenge that wrecked my lungs for the next several days. Not so with Pro. His bitterness knows no end. Pro clearly needed to move on. And here we are.

        But, Sonic the Hedgehog you say? Well, it wasn’t so long ago that Mr. “No Themed Workouts” himself was half of a Mario & Luigi theme. I should add that it was a very good one. So why not? Besides, we all know that Sonic is better. Can the plumbers do this?

        Italy BTFO

        Thought not. Tempted to drop a “QED” here and call it, but there’s so much more.

        It wouldn’t be a proper Mansiere workout without a touch of a goofy game. As I explained during the mosey, PAX would “spin up” with an exercise on our six, with the Q calling the cadence. Then everyone will get up and do one more until the Q says “Jailbreak!”. PAX sprint to the opposite goal line, grabbing “rings” (cones) along the way. If the first person to reach the other side can complete five Big Boy Sit-ups before the last person makes it across, then everyone has to do twenty penalty burpees. Recycle found a loophole for this (see Moleskin).

        If everyone makes it across in time, then the person who finishes last gives their cones to the first-place finisher. The person with the most cones decides the workout. PAX complete the workout and mosey back to the starting point, tossing their cones out as they return. Repeat.

        For the final few minutes, we did a ladder on the bleachers and I debuted a NEW exercise: the Horizontal Toe Merkin. To do this, get into a low plank position. Then use your toes to push your body forward while keeping your back flat. Return to the starting position to complete the rep.

        • 10 tricep presses at the bottom
        • 20 decline merkins
        • 30 horizontal toe merkins
        • 40 normal toe merkins
        • 50 squats at the top


        People who think they’re too big for the small things (like penalty burpees) are usually too small for the big things. So much of success comes from good habits and not taking shortcuts. It works at the level of the individual, up to societies and countries.


        Recycle decided that we were not going to do burpees and took it upon himself to pin down whomever reached the opposite goal line first to prevent the penalty. This of course ruined the intent of the rule, which was to keep everyone moving quickly and add some tension as people desperately tried to grab as many cones as possible without costing everyone else. But hilarity trumps everything else, and so it was grudgingly tolerated. Well played, sir!

        Zima activated his healing powers and miraculously appeared in the gloom after having back issues. My deep concern and even a hint of dread were unwarranted as he returned to form without so much as a hiccup. And speaking of healing powers and big returns, Manscaper was back after his surprise return to the gloom on the 31st. Welcome back to both!


        GET EXCITED FOR THE TUFF MUFF! February 19th.

        Recent Backblasts

          Fun and Games on the Mountain

          QIC: 9 Volt

          Date: 01/13/2022

          PAX:  Blow Pop, Warlord, Laces Out, Zima, Pound Dog, Recycle, Mansiere, Squirt, Burrito, Yellow 5, Gusher, Pomade

          AO: Smackdown

          Note:  The QIC inspired the PAX throughout the entire beat down with this playlist


          A general sense of superiority while looking down on the valley dwellers


          Beging at the track
          SSH ICx20, Baby arm circle fwdx15, revx15, sealclapx10,  Slow squats ICx10, Willy Maze Haze ICx10, SSH (Fast) ICx10

          The Thang

          The Game of Life
          34 stations set 6 yards apart around the track
          PAX Rolls a die and moves the number of stations
          At each stop, the PAX follows instructions on the card
          Mode of transport changes every 3 stations
          Last 3 stations are manditory, PAX doesn’t roll die to move




          StationLife EventConsequenceNotes
          Mode of travel = Lunge
          1You are bornRoll the die to move
          2Circumcised by near sighted doctor15 Hand release merkins
          3Successful potty trainingMove forward 3 spaces
          Mode of travel = Broad Jump
          4Start SchoolDie roll +10 Burpees
          5Win spelling beeRoll again
          6Family moves to New Jersey30 Mountain climbers
          Mode of travel = Bear Crawl
          7Puberty25 Pickle Pointers
          8Develop AcneaGo back – Die roll
          9See some boobsMove ahead 1
          Mode of travel = Duck Walk
          10Caught masturbating in K-mart changing room25 Monkey humpers
          11Learn to disco dance25 “Staying Alive” side planksAlternating sides w/4x Travolta arm movements
          12Voted most likely to underachieveGo back 1 die roll
          Mode of travel =Crab walk
          13Win tickets to Michael Jackson concert20 American hammer & moon walk ahead 1 die roll
          14Score big at the PromChange mode of travel to dealer’s choice
          15Graduate High SchoolChange mode of transport to Lunge
          Mode of travel = Lunge
          16Inherit grandmother’s OldsmobileGirlfriend dumps you 25 SSH
          Go back 1 roll
          17Arrested at Metalica concert10 Ground Hogs
          18Sober up with a tatoo25 Squats
          Mode of travel = Broad Jump
          19Hold my beer
          Watch This!
          25 BBSU
          Move back 3 spaces
          20Hitch hike a ride with a bus load of singing nunsMove forward 5 spaces
          21Married in Vegas
          By Elvis
          25 High Knees
          Mode of travel = Bear Crawl
          22You are the probable father of twins20
          23Get promoted at a job you hate10 Captain Thor
          24Join a cult25 Flutter kicks
          Mode of travel = Duck Walk
          25Children survive to adulthood…
          In spite of you
          Pick mode of travel
          26Found guilty of all charges25 Carolina dry docks
          27Prostate the size of a pinecone25 Jump Squats
          Mode of travel =Crab walk
          28Retire to Florida
          Then get the hell out of Florida
          Go back 10 spaces
          29Poop your pants at the Morrison’s Cafeteria25 “Leg shake” Imperial WalkersImperial walker but shake one leg 3 times after each step
          30Children put you in a “Nice” homePull your pants up to your armpits
          50 Calf Raises
          Mode of travel = Walk
          31You Die10 BurpeesStop here, no die roll
          32You were a good ScientologistL. Ron Hubbard picks you up in a spaceship
          Celebrate with 20 jump squats
          Stop here, no die roll
          33Probed by space aliens10 donkey kicks Stop here, no die roll
          34Reincarnated as a dung beetleMosey back to beginning


          Circled up for some Mary in the last 3 minutes


          (Vanillia Ice playing in the background)

          If you are caught in a rip tide or strong current we are taught to use your effort to influence your direction not to wear yourself out fighting against it. Life, like the current will take you where it will and there is a kind of peace in giving in to it. With a little time the current will ease and you may find you’ve made it to shore in a nudist colony 🙂


          9-Volt is Burrito’s daddy
          The playlist had to be stopped so Milkshake wouldn’t be playing during the prayer requests





          Recent Backblasts

            This ain’t Parliament but we got FUNK B’LEE DAT

            QIC: Prosciutto

            Date: 12/09/2021

            PAX: Bada Bing, Blow pop, burrito, Cankle, Friday, Gusher, Mansiere, Pediasure, Pomade, Pound Dog, Shank, Screwball, Squirt, Recycle, Yellow 5, Zima

            AO: Smackdown


            If there were any questions about the toughness of the pax on Signal Mountain, they were more than answered on this day, the 9th of December, 2021; year of our Lord. Temperatures having dipped into the bottom 30s and frost present on the grass tips could have been enough to keep the boys (nay, Men!) at bay, but it did not seem to have any effect at all.

            To set the scene, guys were showing up at 5:28, 5:29. Those who were standing there awaiting instruction were wondering if a 1 minute call would happen [spoiler: it didn’t].

            Mansiere’s over there just looking as uncomfortable as ever because his 5:30am routine has been broken, the time is not being adhered to, the disciplined machine that he is begins to show concerns and doubt of what is to come. He offers some unhanded comments about talking too much. Whatever Mansiere, Walk your fish at Food City.

            Burrito tries to goad YHC to start, he shouts things that most would think were insensitive. “Are we going to workout?”, he says. “It’s 5:30am…”, he offers… “Do you know what you’re doing?”.

            Zima, Recycle and Blow Pop, three bastions of F3 Signal Mountain, are not phased. They know what they came for and they’re here to get it.

            Bird Lover (Shank) is on time. Let it be known, let it be written and it is done.

            Gusher, Bada-Bing (he’s earned the hyphen; F3 version of the twitter check), anxiously await in their cool-down pose from their 5am jaunt.

            Pound Dog onlooking in a very judgmental-style pose.

            Yellow 5 and Screwball (aka Wait List, Roger Dorn) also stand idly by, some of the last giants still living among this ridge; shivering but kindly awaiting as well.

            Meanwhile, YHC prepares the set and the playlist with the musical accoutrement. Time is moving very fast now, well beyond 5:30am. The crowd is growing ever more restless and the Q must deliver something… anything. Now, to be fair, I’m familiar with the disclaimer; some guys are so good at this. I, however (comma for effect) am definitely unable to deliver it poignantly and succinctly. So, at this point, I deliver a stream of consciousness, all the while assuming responsibility of everyone there; I also said something about if you get hurt, I am not only to blame, but am also open for being sued in a court of law. So, I win the dumbass award and need to go to after hour tutoring with Zima to learn about how to commit things to memory better.

            The playlist begins, entitled “Funk B’lee Dat”; and it is. Even George Parliament would be proud.


            Some sequence of SSH, Mtn Climbers, High Knees, ST Merkins, Willy mays hays, forward fold, etc for blow flowing.

            Form two lines of equal length and do an Indigenous People’s Run

            The Thang

            [Stolen from a Q I did one year ago – almost exactly] – with slight variation1

            For each number of reps, perform Block Swings then the called exercise to match that same set of reps; after you finish the last set of reps, bear crawl 15 yards, then lunge back. So:

            05 Block Swings (BS)
            05 Hand Release Merkins (HRM)
            10 BS
            10 HRM
            15 BS
            15 HRM
            10 BS
            10 HRM
            05 BS
            05 HRM
            Bear Crawl
            Lunge Return
            Walk around behind the stadium bleachers and do five (05) Burpee Pull-Ups1

            This was the first round of 4 total completed.
            The other rounds were:
            Goblet Squats

            One more indigenous people’s run for a cool down and then some abdominal exercises to close out


            In the Bible, Paul shares some of his great wisdom in the sequel to his first [fire] mix tape to the Corinthians ( 2 Corinthians 12),
            ( AKA “the second epistle”,
            AKA “I’ll show them Number 2”,
            AKA “How to hit your second shot first”,
            AKA “Oops! I did it again!”,
            AKA “And another one!” (you thought DJ Khaled came up with that?, pffft)

            he writes on the topic of finding happiness in weakness in verse 10, he writes
            “that’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

            We can take solace in the fact that our God is great, his son was equally amazing. Jesus suffered the depths of suffering we cannot ever realize or even know. Our worst of times were already paid for as Jesus endured the cross. Because of this, in our weakest moments, in our weakest times, we need to feel stronger than ever. We need to understand that finding happiness in those depths is our way of honoring our God and his son in all that they did and continue to do for us.

            If you cannot take pleasure in the toughest of times, what makes you think that you’ll find pleasure in your best times? Battle through the difficulties, endure them while finding that happiness and that gratitude and give thanks to God for the difficult times. Have trust in Him that He can and will deliver resolution.


            The playlist rivaled my personal copy of Pure Funk Volume 3 that I bought on tv back in 1996. BMG Music deliveries in the mid-90’s were like Santa delivering gifts in the off-season. 12 cd’s for $0.01 = deliveries in your mailbox every day.


            This concludes the backblast.

            Recent Backblasts

              Smackdown Double Down Without Gusher

              QIC:  Recycle

              Date: 11/30/2021

              PAX: Friday, Mansiere, Mox, Old School (RESPECT), Pomade, Pound Dog, Pomade, Warlord, Yellow 5. Gusher was not there.

              AO: Smackdown minus Gusher


              A brisk 35 degrees at the disclaimer. Gusher was not there, but had he been, he could have told us about the status of the anemometer, wind vane, pressure sensor, thermometer, hygrometer, and rain gauge.


              SSH x20 IC
              FF OYO
              LOR OYO
              ROL OYO
              WMH x10 IC
              TGE x10 IC
              MCPU x10 IC
              LBAC x10 IC
              Rev x10 IC
              OP x10 IC
              MNC x10 IC
              SSH x10 IC

              The Thang

              Doubling Down on 11

              Double 11s. 4 stations around glass shard track.

              Burpees on home and visitor sides. Start with 10 at each station.

              4 count American Hammers behind goal posts. Start with 1 at each station.

              Method of travel between stations? Glad you asked. (Gusher would not know because he was not there).

              PAX choice between mosey, Bernie, walking lunges, and bear crawls from station to station.

              The catch: you can only use each method of travel between stations one time each lap.

              Flutter kicks x10 IC



              Gusher was not there to check my math on this, so my apologies if the numbers are off.

              I have been told by a very trustworthy source (the internet) that a phrase similar to “do not fear” appears 365 times in the Bible.

              I also have a source that tells me that there are 365 days in a year!

              You probably have a lot going on today. Email is full, voicemail is full, schedule full, family stress I am sure. If you are like me you wish you could just plop down on the couch and watch football and eat Thanksgiving leftovers.

              You have real stress in your life. There is no denying that.

              There is also no denying that God is real.

              He put that “do not fear” in the Bible so many times so that you would hear him. Every day. Trust in him and do not give in to that fear.

              Live courageously. That doesn’t mean you won’t have fear or stress or anxiety. Courage is not the absence of fear. Courage is moving forward in spite of that fear.

              Trust in God and live courageously!


              Playlist: Tantric, Nirvana, Stereo MCs, Alice in Chains, Jay-Z (the real Jay-Z, not @Pediasure cause he wasn’t there either), The Offspring, The Black Crowes, LL Cool J

              Gusher was not there;;;;;

              Zima is close to being back!

              Mansiere is a pickup man now. Welcome to the club!

              The bear crawls lasted for two laps. But Yellow 5 wanted some bear crawlin’ and I am a man of the people.

              The Smackdown track is made of broken glass. That is the only explanation for how my hands feel this morning.

              This concludes the announcements.


              Natty Light Wednesday, Bada Bing Thursday, Zima Saturday. Strong Mountain Man days coming up!

              Recent Backblasts

                Suicides Come to Smackdown

                QIC:  Blue

                Date: 11/16/2021

                PAX: Bada Bing, Blow Pop, Jorts, Manscaper, Mansiere, Pomade, Prosciutto, Recycle, Rubberneck, Yellow 5, 8 Mile

                AO: Smackdown


                A very surprisingly warm 50-ish degrees with nary a cloud in the sky. Orion was clearly visible in the clear morning sky. Most of the PAX were surprised at how warm it was on top of the mountain this morning, compared to the valley, aka my house where it was 37* when I walked out the door.


                A “few” SSH’s to start, then some Imperial Walkers, followed by some 3rd Grade Exercises, then some stretches and some more SSH’s, throwing into the mix some shoulder blasters, and that the warm up

                The Thang

                “Suicides Are Painless”

                Round 1

                -1 Resurrection Burpee (a burpee with a block, doing a CPR at the top) and each “cone line” of the suicide course, rifle carry coupon to travel, hold Al Gore for the 6, or pick up the 6

                -Mosey Lap all together

                -Circle Up

                -25 Burpee’s OYO

                -50 Squats OYO

                -75 LBC’s OYO

                Round 2

                -5 Inchworms w/ a merkin at each “cone line” of the suicide course, mosey to travel, hold Al Gore for the 6, or pick up the 6

                -Mosey Lap all together

                -Circle Up

                -20, 2 Merkin Burpee’s OYO -TIME

                (- 40 Straight Leg Deadlifts)

                (- 60 Imperial Walkers – Hard Count)



                Our culture/society has perpetuated the LIE that we are supposed to have “IT” all together and be “PERFECT” all the time. The only way I see to combat this is to start swallowing our pride and telling the truth, allowing ourselves to be VULNERABLE. F3 is a Leadership organization, that is teaching men to be better leaders, in our communities, our churches, our families, our work, etc. Stop pretending to everyone around you that things are “Fine” when they are most definitely not. I personally opened up a year ago about how I struggle with the death of my father, some 20 years ago. Not one single PAX ever laughed or was anything but 100% SUPPORTIVE!!!!!!! Swallowing my pride and opening up was the best decision I could have ever made. Stop the LIE, and allow yourself to be VULNERABLE.


                Not really much to say here, other than Prosciutto has a thing for the number 69. I did learn the importance of punctuation when calling out the exercise, “20, 2 Merkin Burpees”. When “heard” it could be taken to mean multiple things. 8 Mile pointed this out with the statement, “Come Eat Grandma”. Proper comma/pause placement is crucial.


                Recent Backblasts

                  Murder Bunnies Communicate Swiftly and Non-Verbally; THEY WILL END YOUR ASS

                  QIC:  Prosciutto

                  Date: 07/06/2021

                  PAX: Zima, Yellow 5, Whittler, Warlord, The Count, Red Raider, Recycle, Pound Dog, Pediasure, Old School, Mansiere, Manscaper, Jorts, Holy Kiss, Gusher, Friday, Croc Doc, Catfish, Burrito, Blow Pop, A-A-Ron

                  AO: SmackDown


                  An illustrious morning illuminated by the moon’s obvious crescent, PAX exuberance and candor, and a third thing which I shall leave blank here only for the purpose of having a tertiary item in a list of things; for anything in a trinity must be fantastical and pure;;; book-ended by multiple (3) semi-colons only to annotate such ;;;perfection;. ;;Opinions were provided freely -that which may or may not have been indicative of the group’s general consensus – but nevertheless, they were accepted. Feelings were not hurt because collectively we chose not to feel those feelings today; despite the conjuring that slow-dance R&B may incite for a man in his mid-40s considering life’s missteps and about what could have been in grade school whilst attending a mixed-gender school sanctioned extracurricular event in the late 90s (note: goes without saying, this reference only applied for those ambitious enough to attend a school with more than one gender – he or she). I’m certain I missed a semi-colon in that last sentence amid the run-on blathering; but here we are, alive and well to tell of the stories that we once knew with a nod to the future in how we can improve.

                  Some would say there were too many in attendance this morning, but based on what I saw – nothing could be further from the truth. The number was nice enough to compliment a larger aggregate, which could be flipped and turnt upside down and would still be nice. It felt nice, it looked nice, it was nice nice nice. Simpatico, grazie!

                  Of course, we couldn’t move forward with the events without some sort of notice of inherent risk, pronounced both broadly and ineffectively seemingly without any direction or purpose. You see, I was more wrapped up in sharing neat facts on “This day in History” than to keep the people I hold dearest to my heart safe in the gloom; so excited, that I almost prematurely spewed facts without making the pax work for it. So, words were used in the “disclaimer” that do not appear in any formal F3 disclaimer written regarding personal safety. What was said certainly was not legally abdicating, nor was it sensible by any means, nor was it even coherent. My poor1 attempt had been a failure, but it was to no one’s fault but my own. After an appropriate haranguing by the PAX within earshot, little was left to do than to just get on with it. And so we went forth as things could not get worse from here.

                  1 understatement


                  Circle around the flag and proceed with a standard COP (10x of everything)
                  FWD Fold
                  ST Merkins
                  Plank Jacks
                  Mtn Climbers
                  SSH (again)

                  The Thang

                  Remaining in the Circle of Trust position, Old Glory as the center, exercises were suggested for all to complete; once all are complete, murder bunny from your position to the flag and back as penance for completion;; ;wait;; for six

                  Air Squats (50)
                  BBSUs (40)
                  Merkins (30)
                  Bonnie Blaire’s (20)
                  Burpees (10)

                  **After round, grab block and lunge with block to the nearest track side and back

                  Repeat 50-40-30-20-10, MB to and from and then wait for six

                  Block Webbs (1:4 ratio)
                  Merkins & Curls; 1-5 and back down to 1
                  Sprint to far track side and back

                  Repeat above backwards 10-20-30-40-50, MB to and from and then wait for six



                  I recently read that a couple of pimps in the psychology research world in 1967 conducted studies around the importance of non-verbal speech. It was from their rad discovery that we have the ridiculous theory that all communication is 90% non-verbal. Dumb. The study found that 55% of communication is body language, 38% was tone and the remaining 7% are the actual words used. While this study was not intended to say that it applied to every specific instance, it is worth considering that what we communicate often times has much less to do with what words we use, but the way in which we convey them. Our words are powerful, they can be used as a weapon or as a critical tool or in positive/encouraging ways.

                  The challenge for the pax today was simply to choose your words, the way you say them (and the timing) wisely.


                  “What do we do when we’re finished? (with everything)” x6
                  – Not Burrito

                  “This is the worst playlist ever”
                  – Probably Burrito

                  “This is the best playlist ever”
                  – Not Burrito

                  “Good thing this isn’t a themed workout, like some others that have happened” (side-eye)
                  -Not Burrito

                  “Ned Beatty played the robot in Rocky IV” (which was loosely debated as to whether it occurred or not; if you’ve been following along… yes, again)
                  – Not Burrito

                  Step Brother’s references and associated humor

                  This day in history:

                  • 1495 – Charles VIII defeats the Holy League at the Battle of Fornovo – the First Italian War (poured one out for our homies)
                  • 1779 – The Battle of Grenada; happened.
                  • 1933 – The first MLB All-Star Game was played at Comiskey Park (The National League won 4-2)
                  • 1944 – Jackie Robinson refuses to sit in the back of the bus

                  Notable birthday’s

                  • Ned Beatty (Actor)
                  • George W. Bush (“American Businessman and Politician”; Wikipedia’s Woke AF right now)
                  • 50 Cent ($$)
                  • Manny Machado (Dominican Republic Entertainment Laborer)


                  The q-schedule is written and posted. There are posts pinned in slack. If you’re not on slack, you’re probably not reading this right now. Today was Nice, Twitter said so.

                  Recent Backblasts

                    The Bunnies and the B’s, Listen and you’ll See

                    QIC:  Prosciutto

                    Date: 05/06/2021

                    PAX: Bumblebee, Burrito (sigh), Catfish, Curd, Gusher, Holy Kiss, Jorts, Laces, Out, Mansiere, Old School, Pediasure, Pomade, Pound Dog, Recycle, Red Raider, Shank, Snow Patrol, Truck Stop, Zima

                    AO: Mountain Fancy


                    Brisk, cool, fine mountain ayyerrr. Funny thing…,,;; if it rained the day before, you never would have known it; dry as a bone. The parking lot was patched in places where the potholes previously existed; sorta ;;; …,with fresh asphalt. Oddly enough, the holes seemed more pronounced than before (that’s not a particular dig at Burrito’s Mom; she is a kind lass, I’ve met her and Mother’s day is upon us after all); and speaking of, nothing was mentioned about Mother’s Day. In fact, more was said about Cinco De Mayo on the Seis de Mayo. So we were still on that topic this morning. Some had too much celebration, some had none;;;

                    [serious question] why is it that non-Latino folks go harder on Cinco de Mayo than people of actual Mexican origin? Same goes for St. Patrick’s day. Confusing… just let the Micks and the Mexicans have their time to shine. What’s with this world where everyone is about everyone else’s history and being in their business? I’d bet that the guy raging on 5-May is also the same guy that was pounding chests and raising fists when Trump was talking about a separating wall between the two countries;; just a guess though. And furthermore, is anyone throwing down on July 4th outside of America yet on behalf of the US and A!? England (nope.)? France (nope. bend over)? I assume not, but with the way people are on 5-May, who knows? Mother’s know. Their day is celebrated by going out to eat. Restaurants don’t celebrate Mother’s day.

                    Just wait until St. Francis of Assisi day comes….all I’m gonna say. Romans really know how to let it rip…

                    Where was I?? Oh yes, people showed up, we talked about the rules of adult recess, the obvious circumstances before us regarding darkness and uncertainty of your future and not being responsible for anything and the odd choices you made. I may have missed the part about not being a professional, but no one balked at that omission;;; and that’s likely because everything seemed unprofessional up until that point;”;”; kind of like a VQ. Real warm & fuzzy stuff. People were appalled at how bad I was at all the ceremonious things I misremember. I’m still new at this. But you’ll be able to determine that in a few more lines of text.

                    Final note on conditions – the lawnmower and/or facilities manager (who has accosted me on at least one occasion) appear to have “bought the farm.” Either that or he/she/they/they’re/their/there/them/them’s/all y’all/yins sleeping on the job. Two more weeks left unattended and they’ll be able to hack, lay and hay this field. Not it!!!! Ask Fissure what he thinks about haying. In South Pittsburgh with Mike. In the heat. Naked (no no, just kidding; he was wearing some Clemson-Tech gear and boat shoes prob; 63-17 Go Tigers).

                    In an unceremonious -yet ceremonious – way and due to the shut down in the facilities department, there will be a stated ‘Feet Dryness’ scale (FDS) at intervals throughout the backblast in accordance to certain times in the workout when YHC took special notice of extremities.


                    I blacked out and don’t remember much (too much 5-May), but there was a 5 burpee penalty at one point because the cadence from the pax was something awful. Stretching and gyration and arm movements in combination with cardiovascular motions that excite the love muscles were employed and completed. The burpee penalty, while annoying, did not seem to affect the cadence response from the pax. Like I said, unprofessional, unprepared, VQ in effect here.

                    On the ‘Feet Dryness’ scale (FDS), our feet were dryer than a preheated oven waiting on some Bruschetta.

                    The Thang

                    Grab a block, line up and meet at the goal line
                    The Sick and Twisted Catch me if you Can
                    PAX were assigned their partner based on their immediate proximity in the line

                    Each pax has a block
                    First Pax (P1) Rifle Carries the Block while lunging toward opposite goal line
                    — 1 blockee at every 5th (Mountain Count) Lunge then continue the lunging until P2 arrives.
                    Partner Pax (P2) completes 5 blockees and then Murder Bunny’s to P1.

                    At the exchange, P1 Rifle Carries his block and walks back to the starting goal line to do his set of 5 blockees; P2 picks up where P1 left off with lunges and blockee’s down field.

                    *This had to be explained twice for the reverend, attorney and McCallie graduate (who happen to all be the same person); so you know it had to be good.

                    — Whence P1 and P2 arrive at opposing goal line, together they jail break to start and back (no blocks this time); Plank & hold for six.

                    10 Tempo Merkins were done all together; two more jail breaks with the group and then pax repeated the above to return back to start

                    FDS update: feet felt like that cottonmouth feeling after 5 solid bong hits and three-fourths pack of Lance Peanut Butter Crackers; without a beverage to wash it down. Medium dryness.

                    Plenty of time remaining, PAX grabbed their block and headed to the long stretch of track to find medium-sized cones stretched vertically 10 yards apart as well as another workout group; NEWS TEAM ASSEMBLE!!!

                    Killer B’s

                    Broad Jump to first Cone; 10 Burpees, 10 Bonnie Blaire (Mountain Count), 10 BBSU
                    Broad Jump to second Cone; 10 Burpees, 10 Bonnie Blaire (Mountain Count), 10 BBSU
                    Broad Jump to third Cone; 10 Burpees, 10 Bonnie Blaire (Mountain Count), 10 BBSU
                    (Bear crawl back to start)

                    *Cone is capitalized here because medium-sized Cones deserve their time in the spotlight, too

                    FDS note: Like a Chinchilla in a sand bath in south Phoenix in July.

                    Circle up for 1 minute abs. Very nice!


                    “If you reject discipline, you only harm yourself; but if you listen to correction, you grow in understanding.” — Proverbs 15:32

                    I picked out two things in context here.

                    One, it’s true, discipline in anything (I could think of) is a positive. Indiscipline is a slippery slope. Of course there are some exceptions.

                    For me discipline in reading or journaling through the word daily keeps me correct, keeps me centered and helps me maintain perspective on all things. A tough conversation at work or difficult situation that comes to pass is all the more easier to handle in a balanced life with a mindset with perspective.

                    The second component of the verse mentions listening to correction as there is growth in understanding. Speaking of difficult conversations- here’s a hard truth – we are not always right.

                    In fact, we are wrong… a lot.

                    I learned quite some time ago that “the quickest way to the right answer is to say the wrong one.” In listening to that correction and fully understanding that correction, growth occurs.


                    At Smackdown, we like to conjecture on scales, readings, theorems, scientific considerations, or any measurements that start with the word ‘relative’. The Feet Dryness scale is really no different. Widely held as a farcical scale, one thing is certain, I was not thirsty after the workout. I attribute this to the water boarding my feet took for a solid 43 minutes. I spent more time curating the playlist for today than the workout. The playlist didn’t get the airtime I’d hoped due to a low battery in the speaker; Lesson learned. The medium-sized Cone is oft-overlooked among the cone family, especially when the grass is taller than the Cone. But it stood its ground and served a purpose today. No longer shall it feel the inadequacies akin to a workout partner with hip dysplacia. Some people said they saw a guy named Gusher today, to which I was left wondering, who’s that? Gamecock themed week is over, sadly. Today, the Georgia fans talked about how they were the last straw in Spurrier’s tenure at UofSC. Oh how they cherish Spurrier as he lives in their headspace freely even up to this day. Sic’ em… Spurrier quit because he didn’t want to face Vanderbilt the following week. You’re welcome, Mansiere. Not surprisingly, Bumblebee (Clemson grad) came and exited early, which I’m accustomed to witnessing over the last decade. I think this is standard behavior. I’m gonna go cry some more in my cheerios. Can’t wait till next year. Always next year. Cry these alligator tears with me.


                    Check smackdown channel for a well-documented administrative post from Recycle the Great.

                    Recent Backblasts