Recycling Field Trip

QIC:  Recycle

Date: 3/8/2022

PAX: Mansiere, Zima, Rubberneck, Pomade, Prosciutto, 8 Mile, Manscaper, Old School(RESPECT), Laces Out(RESPECT), Gusher, Pound Dog

AO: Smackdown


35 degrees at the disclaimer.

The field was muddy and Manscaper got new shoes so let’s head out to the dry parking lot


Mosey to the Fortune House parking lot
WMH x10 IC
TGE x10 IC
Rev x10 IC
OP x10 IC
MNC x10 IC

The Thang

In the fire lane in front of Fortune House:

10 Merkins
20 Monkey Humpers
30 LBCs

Bear crawl to the first line, 25 toe merkins, bear crawl back, 10/20/30, repeat.

Bear crawl one more line each time out.

Mosey back to the flag.



Remove whatever it is that is holding you back.

Any regret, shame, doubt, way out…..remove it and move forward.

Burn the ships and leave yourself no other path but acceleration.


Playlist: 311, Alice In Chains, Tantric, Beastie Boys, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Jane’s Addiction, U2, Rage Against The Machine

Thanks for listening, Prosciutto

Manscaper got to wear his new shoes since we stayed out of the mud and he looks SUPER FAST in them!


Some Qs coming up, lots of #3rd-f opportunities.….Zima talks so dang fast

Recent Backblasts

    Redeem the Theme (Gotta Go Fast)

    QIC:  Mansiere

    Date: 02/01/2022

    PAX: Pediasure, Zima, Truck Stop, Gusher, Whittler, Recycle, Friday, Blow Pop, Manscaper, Warlord, Prosciutto, Yellow 5, 8-Mile, Squirt, Natty Lite, Jorts, Old School (RESPECT), Shank, Pomade

    AO: Smackdown – The Summit of F3 Chattanooga


    The first day of February. After a brutal January, spring still feels so far away. Nevertheless, the mid-30s temperature and dry ground was more than welcome, and we took full advantage of it.


    What a turnout! We made our big ellipse in the field, and the cones strewn haphazardly about got some curious looks. No time to dawdle, though. Let’s get to it!

    • Imperial Squats
    • Windmills
    • Overhead Claps
    • Raise-the-Roof
    • Cherry Pickers
    • Seal Claps
    • Crop Dusters (h/t Squirt for the idea, which he debuted at his VQ the day before)
    • 10 Octanes
    • Mosey lap while I explained…

    …The Thang

    You can count on Prosciutto for two things:

    1. Complain if he doesn’t like the workout
    2. Complain about said workout for at least a year following

    Pro has been on Burrito nearly every posting since that day last February, fussing about the “themed workout” that he led. YHC thinks the workout was fantastic and worthy of Chattanooga’s premier AO. I say this even though it started with a running challenge that wrecked my lungs for the next several days. Not so with Pro. His bitterness knows no end. Pro clearly needed to move on. And here we are.

    But, Sonic the Hedgehog you say? Well, it wasn’t so long ago that Mr. “No Themed Workouts” himself was half of a Mario & Luigi theme. I should add that it was a very good one. So why not? Besides, we all know that Sonic is better. Can the plumbers do this?

    Italy BTFO

    Thought not. Tempted to drop a “QED” here and call it, but there’s so much more.

    It wouldn’t be a proper Mansiere workout without a touch of a goofy game. As I explained during the mosey, PAX would “spin up” with an exercise on our six, with the Q calling the cadence. Then everyone will get up and do one more until the Q says “Jailbreak!”. PAX sprint to the opposite goal line, grabbing “rings” (cones) along the way. If the first person to reach the other side can complete five Big Boy Sit-ups before the last person makes it across, then everyone has to do twenty penalty burpees. Recycle found a loophole for this (see Moleskin).

    If everyone makes it across in time, then the person who finishes last gives their cones to the first-place finisher. The person with the most cones decides the workout. PAX complete the workout and mosey back to the starting point, tossing their cones out as they return. Repeat.

    For the final few minutes, we did a ladder on the bleachers and I debuted a NEW exercise: the Horizontal Toe Merkin. To do this, get into a low plank position. Then use your toes to push your body forward while keeping your back flat. Return to the starting position to complete the rep.

    • 10 tricep presses at the bottom
    • 20 decline merkins
    • 30 horizontal toe merkins
    • 40 normal toe merkins
    • 50 squats at the top


    People who think they’re too big for the small things (like penalty burpees) are usually too small for the big things. So much of success comes from good habits and not taking shortcuts. It works at the level of the individual, up to societies and countries.


    Recycle decided that we were not going to do burpees and took it upon himself to pin down whomever reached the opposite goal line first to prevent the penalty. This of course ruined the intent of the rule, which was to keep everyone moving quickly and add some tension as people desperately tried to grab as many cones as possible without costing everyone else. But hilarity trumps everything else, and so it was grudgingly tolerated. Well played, sir!

    Zima activated his healing powers and miraculously appeared in the gloom after having back issues. My deep concern and even a hint of dread were unwarranted as he returned to form without so much as a hiccup. And speaking of healing powers and big returns, Manscaper was back after his surprise return to the gloom on the 31st. Welcome back to both!



    Recent Backblasts

      Fun and Games on the Mountain

      QIC: 9 Volt

      Date: 01/13/2022

      PAX:  Blow Pop, Warlord, Laces Out, Zima, Pound Dog, Recycle, Mansiere, Squirt, Burrito, Yellow 5, Gusher, Pomade

      AO: Smackdown

      Note:  The QIC inspired the PAX throughout the entire beat down with this playlist


      A general sense of superiority while looking down on the valley dwellers


      Beging at the track
      SSH ICx20, Baby arm circle fwdx15, revx15, sealclapx10,  Slow squats ICx10, Willy Maze Haze ICx10, SSH (Fast) ICx10

      The Thang

      The Game of Life
      34 stations set 6 yards apart around the track
      PAX Rolls a die and moves the number of stations
      At each stop, the PAX follows instructions on the card
      Mode of transport changes every 3 stations
      Last 3 stations are manditory, PAX doesn’t roll die to move




      StationLife EventConsequenceNotes
      Mode of travel = Lunge
      1You are bornRoll the die to move
      2Circumcised by near sighted doctor15 Hand release merkins
      3Successful potty trainingMove forward 3 spaces
      Mode of travel = Broad Jump
      4Start SchoolDie roll +10 Burpees
      5Win spelling beeRoll again
      6Family moves to New Jersey30 Mountain climbers
      Mode of travel = Bear Crawl
      7Puberty25 Pickle Pointers
      8Develop AcneaGo back – Die roll
      9See some boobsMove ahead 1
      Mode of travel = Duck Walk
      10Caught masturbating in K-mart changing room25 Monkey humpers
      11Learn to disco dance25 “Staying Alive” side planksAlternating sides w/4x Travolta arm movements
      12Voted most likely to underachieveGo back 1 die roll
      Mode of travel =Crab walk
      13Win tickets to Michael Jackson concert20 American hammer & moon walk ahead 1 die roll
      14Score big at the PromChange mode of travel to dealer’s choice
      15Graduate High SchoolChange mode of transport to Lunge
      Mode of travel = Lunge
      16Inherit grandmother’s OldsmobileGirlfriend dumps you 25 SSH
      Go back 1 roll
      17Arrested at Metalica concert10 Ground Hogs
      18Sober up with a tatoo25 Squats
      Mode of travel = Broad Jump
      19Hold my beer
      Watch This!
      25 BBSU
      Move back 3 spaces
      20Hitch hike a ride with a bus load of singing nunsMove forward 5 spaces
      21Married in Vegas
      By Elvis
      25 High Knees
      Mode of travel = Bear Crawl
      22You are the probable father of twins20
      23Get promoted at a job you hate10 Captain Thor
      24Join a cult25 Flutter kicks
      Mode of travel = Duck Walk
      25Children survive to adulthood…
      In spite of you
      Pick mode of travel
      26Found guilty of all charges25 Carolina dry docks
      27Prostate the size of a pinecone25 Jump Squats
      Mode of travel =Crab walk
      28Retire to Florida
      Then get the hell out of Florida
      Go back 10 spaces
      29Poop your pants at the Morrison’s Cafeteria25 “Leg shake” Imperial WalkersImperial walker but shake one leg 3 times after each step
      30Children put you in a “Nice” homePull your pants up to your armpits
      50 Calf Raises
      Mode of travel = Walk
      31You Die10 BurpeesStop here, no die roll
      32You were a good ScientologistL. Ron Hubbard picks you up in a spaceship
      Celebrate with 20 jump squats
      Stop here, no die roll
      33Probed by space aliens10 donkey kicks Stop here, no die roll
      34Reincarnated as a dung beetleMosey back to beginning


      Circled up for some Mary in the last 3 minutes


      (Vanillia Ice playing in the background)

      If you are caught in a rip tide or strong current we are taught to use your effort to influence your direction not to wear yourself out fighting against it. Life, like the current will take you where it will and there is a kind of peace in giving in to it. With a little time the current will ease and you may find you’ve made it to shore in a nudist colony 🙂


      9-Volt is Burrito’s daddy
      The playlist had to be stopped so Milkshake wouldn’t be playing during the prayer requests





      Recent Backblasts

        This ain’t Parliament but we got FUNK B’LEE DAT

        QIC: Prosciutto

        Date: 12/09/2021

        PAX: Bada Bing, Blow pop, burrito, Cankle, Friday, Gusher, Mansiere, Pediasure, Pomade, Pound Dog, Shank, Screwball, Squirt, Recycle, Yellow 5, Zima

        AO: Smackdown


        If there were any questions about the toughness of the pax on Signal Mountain, they were more than answered on this day, the 9th of December, 2021; year of our Lord. Temperatures having dipped into the bottom 30s and frost present on the grass tips could have been enough to keep the boys (nay, Men!) at bay, but it did not seem to have any effect at all.

        To set the scene, guys were showing up at 5:28, 5:29. Those who were standing there awaiting instruction were wondering if a 1 minute call would happen [spoiler: it didn’t].

        Mansiere’s over there just looking as uncomfortable as ever because his 5:30am routine has been broken, the time is not being adhered to, the disciplined machine that he is begins to show concerns and doubt of what is to come. He offers some unhanded comments about talking too much. Whatever Mansiere, Walk your fish at Food City.

        Burrito tries to goad YHC to start, he shouts things that most would think were insensitive. “Are we going to workout?”, he says. “It’s 5:30am…”, he offers… “Do you know what you’re doing?”.

        Zima, Recycle and Blow Pop, three bastions of F3 Signal Mountain, are not phased. They know what they came for and they’re here to get it.

        Bird Lover (Shank) is on time. Let it be known, let it be written and it is done.

        Gusher, Bada-Bing (he’s earned the hyphen; F3 version of the twitter check), anxiously await in their cool-down pose from their 5am jaunt.

        Pound Dog onlooking in a very judgmental-style pose.

        Yellow 5 and Screwball (aka Wait List, Roger Dorn) also stand idly by, some of the last giants still living among this ridge; shivering but kindly awaiting as well.

        Meanwhile, YHC prepares the set and the playlist with the musical accoutrement. Time is moving very fast now, well beyond 5:30am. The crowd is growing ever more restless and the Q must deliver something… anything. Now, to be fair, I’m familiar with the disclaimer; some guys are so good at this. I, however (comma for effect) am definitely unable to deliver it poignantly and succinctly. So, at this point, I deliver a stream of consciousness, all the while assuming responsibility of everyone there; I also said something about if you get hurt, I am not only to blame, but am also open for being sued in a court of law. So, I win the dumbass award and need to go to after hour tutoring with Zima to learn about how to commit things to memory better.

        The playlist begins, entitled “Funk B’lee Dat”; and it is. Even George Parliament would be proud.


        Some sequence of SSH, Mtn Climbers, High Knees, ST Merkins, Willy mays hays, forward fold, etc for blow flowing.

        Form two lines of equal length and do an Indigenous People’s Run

        The Thang

        [Stolen from a Q I did one year ago – almost exactly] – with slight variation1

        For each number of reps, perform Block Swings then the called exercise to match that same set of reps; after you finish the last set of reps, bear crawl 15 yards, then lunge back. So:

        05 Block Swings (BS)
        05 Hand Release Merkins (HRM)
        10 BS
        10 HRM
        15 BS
        15 HRM
        10 BS
        10 HRM
        05 BS
        05 HRM
        Bear Crawl
        Lunge Return
        Walk around behind the stadium bleachers and do five (05) Burpee Pull-Ups1

        This was the first round of 4 total completed.
        The other rounds were:
        Goblet Squats

        One more indigenous people’s run for a cool down and then some abdominal exercises to close out


        In the Bible, Paul shares some of his great wisdom in the sequel to his first [fire] mix tape to the Corinthians ( 2 Corinthians 12),
        ( AKA “the second epistle”,
        AKA “I’ll show them Number 2”,
        AKA “How to hit your second shot first”,
        AKA “Oops! I did it again!”,
        AKA “And another one!” (you thought DJ Khaled came up with that?, pffft)

        he writes on the topic of finding happiness in weakness in verse 10, he writes
        “that’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

        We can take solace in the fact that our God is great, his son was equally amazing. Jesus suffered the depths of suffering we cannot ever realize or even know. Our worst of times were already paid for as Jesus endured the cross. Because of this, in our weakest moments, in our weakest times, we need to feel stronger than ever. We need to understand that finding happiness in those depths is our way of honoring our God and his son in all that they did and continue to do for us.

        If you cannot take pleasure in the toughest of times, what makes you think that you’ll find pleasure in your best times? Battle through the difficulties, endure them while finding that happiness and that gratitude and give thanks to God for the difficult times. Have trust in Him that He can and will deliver resolution.


        The playlist rivaled my personal copy of Pure Funk Volume 3 that I bought on tv back in 1996. BMG Music deliveries in the mid-90’s were like Santa delivering gifts in the off-season. 12 cd’s for $0.01 = deliveries in your mailbox every day.


        This concludes the backblast.

        Recent Backblasts

          Smackdown Double Down Without Gusher

          QIC:  Recycle

          Date: 11/30/2021

          PAX: Friday, Mansiere, Mox, Old School (RESPECT), Pomade, Pound Dog, Pomade, Warlord, Yellow 5. Gusher was not there.

          AO: Smackdown minus Gusher


          A brisk 35 degrees at the disclaimer. Gusher was not there, but had he been, he could have told us about the status of the anemometer, wind vane, pressure sensor, thermometer, hygrometer, and rain gauge.


          SSH x20 IC
          FF OYO
          LOR OYO
          ROL OYO
          WMH x10 IC
          TGE x10 IC
          MCPU x10 IC
          LBAC x10 IC
          Rev x10 IC
          OP x10 IC
          MNC x10 IC
          SSH x10 IC

          The Thang

          Doubling Down on 11

          Double 11s. 4 stations around glass shard track.

          Burpees on home and visitor sides. Start with 10 at each station.

          4 count American Hammers behind goal posts. Start with 1 at each station.

          Method of travel between stations? Glad you asked. (Gusher would not know because he was not there).

          PAX choice between mosey, Bernie, walking lunges, and bear crawls from station to station.

          The catch: you can only use each method of travel between stations one time each lap.

          Flutter kicks x10 IC



          Gusher was not there to check my math on this, so my apologies if the numbers are off.

          I have been told by a very trustworthy source (the internet) that a phrase similar to “do not fear” appears 365 times in the Bible.

          I also have a source that tells me that there are 365 days in a year!

          You probably have a lot going on today. Email is full, voicemail is full, schedule full, family stress I am sure. If you are like me you wish you could just plop down on the couch and watch football and eat Thanksgiving leftovers.

          You have real stress in your life. There is no denying that.

          There is also no denying that God is real.

          He put that “do not fear” in the Bible so many times so that you would hear him. Every day. Trust in him and do not give in to that fear.

          Live courageously. That doesn’t mean you won’t have fear or stress or anxiety. Courage is not the absence of fear. Courage is moving forward in spite of that fear.

          Trust in God and live courageously!


          Playlist: Tantric, Nirvana, Stereo MCs, Alice in Chains, Jay-Z (the real Jay-Z, not @Pediasure cause he wasn’t there either), The Offspring, The Black Crowes, LL Cool J

          Gusher was not there;;;;;

          Zima is close to being back!

          Mansiere is a pickup man now. Welcome to the club!

          The bear crawls lasted for two laps. But Yellow 5 wanted some bear crawlin’ and I am a man of the people.

          The Smackdown track is made of broken glass. That is the only explanation for how my hands feel this morning.

          This concludes the announcements.


          Natty Light Wednesday, Bada Bing Thursday, Zima Saturday. Strong Mountain Man days coming up!

          Recent Backblasts

            Suicides Come to Smackdown

            QIC:  Blue

            Date: 11/16/2021

            PAX: Bada Bing, Blow Pop, Jorts, Manscaper, Mansiere, Pomade, Prosciutto, Recycle, Rubberneck, Yellow 5, 8 Mile

            AO: Smackdown


            A very surprisingly warm 50-ish degrees with nary a cloud in the sky. Orion was clearly visible in the clear morning sky. Most of the PAX were surprised at how warm it was on top of the mountain this morning, compared to the valley, aka my house where it was 37* when I walked out the door.


            A “few” SSH’s to start, then some Imperial Walkers, followed by some 3rd Grade Exercises, then some stretches and some more SSH’s, throwing into the mix some shoulder blasters, and that the warm up

            The Thang

            “Suicides Are Painless”

            Round 1

            -1 Resurrection Burpee (a burpee with a block, doing a CPR at the top) and each “cone line” of the suicide course, rifle carry coupon to travel, hold Al Gore for the 6, or pick up the 6

            -Mosey Lap all together

            -Circle Up

            -25 Burpee’s OYO

            -50 Squats OYO

            -75 LBC’s OYO

            Round 2

            -5 Inchworms w/ a merkin at each “cone line” of the suicide course, mosey to travel, hold Al Gore for the 6, or pick up the 6

            -Mosey Lap all together

            -Circle Up

            -20, 2 Merkin Burpee’s OYO -TIME

            (- 40 Straight Leg Deadlifts)

            (- 60 Imperial Walkers – Hard Count)



            Our culture/society has perpetuated the LIE that we are supposed to have “IT” all together and be “PERFECT” all the time. The only way I see to combat this is to start swallowing our pride and telling the truth, allowing ourselves to be VULNERABLE. F3 is a Leadership organization, that is teaching men to be better leaders, in our communities, our churches, our families, our work, etc. Stop pretending to everyone around you that things are “Fine” when they are most definitely not. I personally opened up a year ago about how I struggle with the death of my father, some 20 years ago. Not one single PAX ever laughed or was anything but 100% SUPPORTIVE!!!!!!! Swallowing my pride and opening up was the best decision I could have ever made. Stop the LIE, and allow yourself to be VULNERABLE.


            Not really much to say here, other than Prosciutto has a thing for the number 69. I did learn the importance of punctuation when calling out the exercise, “20, 2 Merkin Burpees”. When “heard” it could be taken to mean multiple things. 8 Mile pointed this out with the statement, “Come Eat Grandma”. Proper comma/pause placement is crucial.


            Recent Backblasts

              Murder Bunnies Communicate Swiftly and Non-Verbally; THEY WILL END YOUR ASS

              QIC:  Prosciutto

              Date: 07/06/2021

              PAX: Zima, Yellow 5, Whittler, Warlord, The Count, Red Raider, Recycle, Pound Dog, Pediasure, Old School, Mansiere, Manscaper, Jorts, Holy Kiss, Gusher, Friday, Croc Doc, Catfish, Burrito, Blow Pop, A-A-Ron

              AO: SmackDown


              An illustrious morning illuminated by the moon’s obvious crescent, PAX exuberance and candor, and a third thing which I shall leave blank here only for the purpose of having a tertiary item in a list of things; for anything in a trinity must be fantastical and pure;;; book-ended by multiple (3) semi-colons only to annotate such ;;;perfection;. ;;Opinions were provided freely -that which may or may not have been indicative of the group’s general consensus – but nevertheless, they were accepted. Feelings were not hurt because collectively we chose not to feel those feelings today; despite the conjuring that slow-dance R&B may incite for a man in his mid-40s considering life’s missteps and about what could have been in grade school whilst attending a mixed-gender school sanctioned extracurricular event in the late 90s (note: goes without saying, this reference only applied for those ambitious enough to attend a school with more than one gender – he or she). I’m certain I missed a semi-colon in that last sentence amid the run-on blathering; but here we are, alive and well to tell of the stories that we once knew with a nod to the future in how we can improve.

              Some would say there were too many in attendance this morning, but based on what I saw – nothing could be further from the truth. The number was nice enough to compliment a larger aggregate, which could be flipped and turnt upside down and would still be nice. It felt nice, it looked nice, it was nice nice nice. Simpatico, grazie!

              Of course, we couldn’t move forward with the events without some sort of notice of inherent risk, pronounced both broadly and ineffectively seemingly without any direction or purpose. You see, I was more wrapped up in sharing neat facts on “This day in History” than to keep the people I hold dearest to my heart safe in the gloom; so excited, that I almost prematurely spewed facts without making the pax work for it. So, words were used in the “disclaimer” that do not appear in any formal F3 disclaimer written regarding personal safety. What was said certainly was not legally abdicating, nor was it sensible by any means, nor was it even coherent. My poor1 attempt had been a failure, but it was to no one’s fault but my own. After an appropriate haranguing by the PAX within earshot, little was left to do than to just get on with it. And so we went forth as things could not get worse from here.

              1 understatement


              Circle around the flag and proceed with a standard COP (10x of everything)
              FWD Fold
              ST Merkins
              Plank Jacks
              Mtn Climbers
              SSH (again)

              The Thang

              Remaining in the Circle of Trust position, Old Glory as the center, exercises were suggested for all to complete; once all are complete, murder bunny from your position to the flag and back as penance for completion;; ;wait;; for six

              Air Squats (50)
              BBSUs (40)
              Merkins (30)
              Bonnie Blaire’s (20)
              Burpees (10)

              **After round, grab block and lunge with block to the nearest track side and back

              Repeat 50-40-30-20-10, MB to and from and then wait for six

              Block Webbs (1:4 ratio)
              Merkins & Curls; 1-5 and back down to 1
              Sprint to far track side and back

              Repeat above backwards 10-20-30-40-50, MB to and from and then wait for six



              I recently read that a couple of pimps in the psychology research world in 1967 conducted studies around the importance of non-verbal speech. It was from their rad discovery that we have the ridiculous theory that all communication is 90% non-verbal. Dumb. The study found that 55% of communication is body language, 38% was tone and the remaining 7% are the actual words used. While this study was not intended to say that it applied to every specific instance, it is worth considering that what we communicate often times has much less to do with what words we use, but the way in which we convey them. Our words are powerful, they can be used as a weapon or as a critical tool or in positive/encouraging ways.

              The challenge for the pax today was simply to choose your words, the way you say them (and the timing) wisely.


              “What do we do when we’re finished? (with everything)” x6
              – Not Burrito

              “This is the worst playlist ever”
              – Probably Burrito

              “This is the best playlist ever”
              – Not Burrito

              “Good thing this isn’t a themed workout, like some others that have happened” (side-eye)
              -Not Burrito

              “Ned Beatty played the robot in Rocky IV” (which was loosely debated as to whether it occurred or not; if you’ve been following along… yes, again)
              – Not Burrito

              Step Brother’s references and associated humor

              This day in history:

              • 1495 – Charles VIII defeats the Holy League at the Battle of Fornovo – the First Italian War (poured one out for our homies)
              • 1779 – The Battle of Grenada; happened.
              • 1933 – The first MLB All-Star Game was played at Comiskey Park (The National League won 4-2)
              • 1944 – Jackie Robinson refuses to sit in the back of the bus

              Notable birthday’s

              • Ned Beatty (Actor)
              • George W. Bush (“American Businessman and Politician”; Wikipedia’s Woke AF right now)
              • 50 Cent ($$)
              • Manny Machado (Dominican Republic Entertainment Laborer)


              The q-schedule is written and posted. There are posts pinned in slack. If you’re not on slack, you’re probably not reading this right now. Today was Nice, Twitter said so.

              Recent Backblasts

                The Bunnies and the B’s, Listen and you’ll See

                QIC:  Prosciutto

                Date: 05/06/2021

                PAX: Bumblebee, Burrito (sigh), Catfish, Curd, Gusher, Holy Kiss, Jorts, Laces, Out, Mansiere, Old School, Pediasure, Pomade, Pound Dog, Recycle, Red Raider, Shank, Snow Patrol, Truck Stop, Zima

                AO: Mountain Fancy


                Brisk, cool, fine mountain ayyerrr. Funny thing…,,;; if it rained the day before, you never would have known it; dry as a bone. The parking lot was patched in places where the potholes previously existed; sorta ;;; …,with fresh asphalt. Oddly enough, the holes seemed more pronounced than before (that’s not a particular dig at Burrito’s Mom; she is a kind lass, I’ve met her and Mother’s day is upon us after all); and speaking of, nothing was mentioned about Mother’s Day. In fact, more was said about Cinco De Mayo on the Seis de Mayo. So we were still on that topic this morning. Some had too much celebration, some had none;;;

                [serious question] why is it that non-Latino folks go harder on Cinco de Mayo than people of actual Mexican origin? Same goes for St. Patrick’s day. Confusing… just let the Micks and the Mexicans have their time to shine. What’s with this world where everyone is about everyone else’s history and being in their business? I’d bet that the guy raging on 5-May is also the same guy that was pounding chests and raising fists when Trump was talking about a separating wall between the two countries;; just a guess though. And furthermore, is anyone throwing down on July 4th outside of America yet on behalf of the US and A!? England (nope.)? France (nope. bend over)? I assume not, but with the way people are on 5-May, who knows? Mother’s know. Their day is celebrated by going out to eat. Restaurants don’t celebrate Mother’s day.

                Just wait until St. Francis of Assisi day comes….all I’m gonna say. Romans really know how to let it rip…

                Where was I?? Oh yes, people showed up, we talked about the rules of adult recess, the obvious circumstances before us regarding darkness and uncertainty of your future and not being responsible for anything and the odd choices you made. I may have missed the part about not being a professional, but no one balked at that omission;;; and that’s likely because everything seemed unprofessional up until that point;”;”; kind of like a VQ. Real warm & fuzzy stuff. People were appalled at how bad I was at all the ceremonious things I misremember. I’m still new at this. But you’ll be able to determine that in a few more lines of text.

                Final note on conditions – the lawnmower and/or facilities manager (who has accosted me on at least one occasion) appear to have “bought the farm.” Either that or he/she/they/they’re/their/there/them/them’s/all y’all/yins sleeping on the job. Two more weeks left unattended and they’ll be able to hack, lay and hay this field. Not it!!!! Ask Fissure what he thinks about haying. In South Pittsburgh with Mike. In the heat. Naked (no no, just kidding; he was wearing some Clemson-Tech gear and boat shoes prob; 63-17 Go Tigers).

                In an unceremonious -yet ceremonious – way and due to the shut down in the facilities department, there will be a stated ‘Feet Dryness’ scale (FDS) at intervals throughout the backblast in accordance to certain times in the workout when YHC took special notice of extremities.


                I blacked out and don’t remember much (too much 5-May), but there was a 5 burpee penalty at one point because the cadence from the pax was something awful. Stretching and gyration and arm movements in combination with cardiovascular motions that excite the love muscles were employed and completed. The burpee penalty, while annoying, did not seem to affect the cadence response from the pax. Like I said, unprofessional, unprepared, VQ in effect here.

                On the ‘Feet Dryness’ scale (FDS), our feet were dryer than a preheated oven waiting on some Bruschetta.

                The Thang

                Grab a block, line up and meet at the goal line
                The Sick and Twisted Catch me if you Can
                PAX were assigned their partner based on their immediate proximity in the line

                Each pax has a block
                First Pax (P1) Rifle Carries the Block while lunging toward opposite goal line
                — 1 blockee at every 5th (Mountain Count) Lunge then continue the lunging until P2 arrives.
                Partner Pax (P2) completes 5 blockees and then Murder Bunny’s to P1.

                At the exchange, P1 Rifle Carries his block and walks back to the starting goal line to do his set of 5 blockees; P2 picks up where P1 left off with lunges and blockee’s down field.

                *This had to be explained twice for the reverend, attorney and McCallie graduate (who happen to all be the same person); so you know it had to be good.

                — Whence P1 and P2 arrive at opposing goal line, together they jail break to start and back (no blocks this time); Plank & hold for six.

                10 Tempo Merkins were done all together; two more jail breaks with the group and then pax repeated the above to return back to start

                FDS update: feet felt like that cottonmouth feeling after 5 solid bong hits and three-fourths pack of Lance Peanut Butter Crackers; without a beverage to wash it down. Medium dryness.

                Plenty of time remaining, PAX grabbed their block and headed to the long stretch of track to find medium-sized cones stretched vertically 10 yards apart as well as another workout group; NEWS TEAM ASSEMBLE!!!

                Killer B’s

                Broad Jump to first Cone; 10 Burpees, 10 Bonnie Blaire (Mountain Count), 10 BBSU
                Broad Jump to second Cone; 10 Burpees, 10 Bonnie Blaire (Mountain Count), 10 BBSU
                Broad Jump to third Cone; 10 Burpees, 10 Bonnie Blaire (Mountain Count), 10 BBSU
                (Bear crawl back to start)

                *Cone is capitalized here because medium-sized Cones deserve their time in the spotlight, too

                FDS note: Like a Chinchilla in a sand bath in south Phoenix in July.

                Circle up for 1 minute abs. Very nice!


                “If you reject discipline, you only harm yourself; but if you listen to correction, you grow in understanding.” — Proverbs 15:32

                I picked out two things in context here.

                One, it’s true, discipline in anything (I could think of) is a positive. Indiscipline is a slippery slope. Of course there are some exceptions.

                For me discipline in reading or journaling through the word daily keeps me correct, keeps me centered and helps me maintain perspective on all things. A tough conversation at work or difficult situation that comes to pass is all the more easier to handle in a balanced life with a mindset with perspective.

                The second component of the verse mentions listening to correction as there is growth in understanding. Speaking of difficult conversations- here’s a hard truth – we are not always right.

                In fact, we are wrong… a lot.

                I learned quite some time ago that “the quickest way to the right answer is to say the wrong one.” In listening to that correction and fully understanding that correction, growth occurs.


                At Smackdown, we like to conjecture on scales, readings, theorems, scientific considerations, or any measurements that start with the word ‘relative’. The Feet Dryness scale is really no different. Widely held as a farcical scale, one thing is certain, I was not thirsty after the workout. I attribute this to the water boarding my feet took for a solid 43 minutes. I spent more time curating the playlist for today than the workout. The playlist didn’t get the airtime I’d hoped due to a low battery in the speaker; Lesson learned. The medium-sized Cone is oft-overlooked among the cone family, especially when the grass is taller than the Cone. But it stood its ground and served a purpose today. No longer shall it feel the inadequacies akin to a workout partner with hip dysplacia. Some people said they saw a guy named Gusher today, to which I was left wondering, who’s that? Gamecock themed week is over, sadly. Today, the Georgia fans talked about how they were the last straw in Spurrier’s tenure at UofSC. Oh how they cherish Spurrier as he lives in their headspace freely even up to this day. Sic’ em… Spurrier quit because he didn’t want to face Vanderbilt the following week. You’re welcome, Mansiere. Not surprisingly, Bumblebee (Clemson grad) came and exited early, which I’m accustomed to witnessing over the last decade. I think this is standard behavior. I’m gonna go cry some more in my cheerios. Can’t wait till next year. Always next year. Cry these alligator tears with me.


                Check smackdown channel for a well-documented administrative post from Recycle the Great.

                Recent Backblasts

                  Blasted BLIMPS!

                  QIC: Holy Kiss

                  Date: 04/22/2021

                  PAX: Pomade,  Pediasure, Gusher, Jorts,  Laces Out, Prosciutto, Red Raider, Pound Dog, Snow Patrol, A-A-Ron, Zima, In-N-Out, Mansiere, Friday,

                  AO: Smackdown


                  low 30s and way to cold for April… but we are men… Men in Tights!


                  Warm up lap around track

                  SSH X 25, Little Baby Arm Circles X 15 and reverse X 15, Seal Claps X 15, , Willy Mays Hays X 10, Third Grade Exercise, SSH X 25

                  The Thang

                  Stairway to 7

                  Bleacher Pull Ups, Run around bleachers, Box Jump Bleachers to top, Squats at top, Run down bleachers and back around. Rinse and Repeat up to 7 reps. (Total 28 reps per exercise)

                  BLIMPS (4 stations with jailbreak between)

                  Round 1 “B” (Burpees x5 at each station)
                  Jailbreak to station 2, 3, 4

                  Round 2 “L” (Lunges x10 each leg each station)

                  Jailbreak to station 2, 3, 4

                  Round 3 “I” (Imperial Walkers x15 each leg each station)

                  Jailbreak to station 2, 3, 4

                  Round 4 “M” (Merkins x 20 each station)

                  Jailbreak to station 2, 3, 4

                  Round 5 “P” (Plank Jacks x25 each station)

                  Jailbreak to station 2, 3, 4

                  Round 6 “S” (86ed)

                  In the interest of time… we just did a BLIMP

                  Wheel of Dips

                  PAX lined up on bottom bleacher.. down the line with one dip and hold, back down the line with two.. rinse and repeat up to 5 dips. Short intermission and 10 dips each PAX all the way down the line


                  LBC X 20 in Cadence

                  Freddie Mercury X 20 in Cadence

                  Wild Card- Prosciutto- Leg Lifts X 20 in Cadence

                  Wild Card – Red Raider- BBSU X 20 OYO


                  Words Matter… Challenged the PAX to be aware of their words. Even though there may not be ill intent, words matter and impact others.

                  “You will have to live with the consequences of everything you say. What you say can preserve life or destroy it; so you must accept the consequences of your words” – Proverbs 18:20-21


                  Recent Backblasts

                    Recycle Signal

                    QIC:  Recycle

                    Date: 03/02/2021

                    PAX: Burrito, Hambone (RESPECT), Shank, Gusher, Pomade, Joanna;Formally known as Joanna makN dem Gainz all day ery day, ery day, Friday, Pelt, Coney, Mansiere, Jenny Craig, Holy Kiss, Red Raider, Zima, A-A-Ron, Truck Stop, Pound Dog

                    AO: Smackdown


                    Nice clear 35 degree morning. Some parts of the grass still wet from the weekend’s rain. Beautiful morning for a mosey.


                    FF OYO
                    LOR OYO
                    ROL OYO
                    WMH x10 IC
                    TGE x10 IC
                    IW x10 IC
                    MCPU x10 IC
                    LBAC x10 IC
                    Rev x10 IC
                    SC x10 IC
                    OP x10 IC

                    The Thang

                    Recycle Signal

                    Mosey to Whittler’s house:

                    25 monkey humpers in the front yard

                    Mosey to Brow Estates entrance:

                    Burpees 5
                    Lunges 10 (single leg)
                    Imperial Walkers 15 (count right leg)
                    Merkins 20
                    Plank Jacks 25
                    Squats 30

                    Mosey to Pruetts:

                    B 10
                    L 15
                    I 20
                    M 25
                    P 30
                    S 35

                    Mosey to the loftiest recycling center in the Chattanooga area: Recycle Signal

                    B 5
                    L 10
                    I 15
                    M 20
                    P 25
                    S 30

                    OYO mosey back to the flag

                    PAX partner up… Dora 150 Big Boi Situps with a mosey across the field and back

                    Flutter kicks x20 IC
                    Heel touches x20 IC
                    Pickle pointers x11 IC



                    Another week, more stories about how adult men don’t have meaningful friendships and 15% of American adults are suffering post traumatic stress just from the pandemic alone.

                    I make no secret about why I post with F3: the impact on my mental health has brought me out of a dark place in my life that was caused by an emotional and tragic loss……multiple losses of men that I served with in the Marine Corps.

                    There is no shame in taking care of your mental health regardless of what our society might tell you. Don’t neglect it! Talk to someone if you need. Attend more beatdowns during the week. It has absolutely changed my life!


                    Burrito was there.

                    Still trying to EH the officers of the Signal Mountain Police Department that we run into on our #Smackdown adventures. We are failing so far.

                    Red Raider does twice as many reps as you. But it’s because he can’t count.

                    Moseying around the neighborhood gives us Mountain folk great opportunities to discuss how much better we are.


                    Smackdown tshirt in the works….look for the announcement on Slack soon. Thanks to Hambone for all the work he has put in!

                    The Count brings it to #Smackdown on Thursday

                    Recycle and Hambone 1 year anniversary Co-Q at #Lions-Den this Friday

                    Dundee Qs #Convoy this Saturday

                    Recent Backblasts