PAX: Pediasure, Zima, Truck Stop, Gusher, Whittler, Recycle, Friday, Blow Pop, Manscaper, Warlord, Prosciutto, Yellow 5, 8-Mile, Squirt, Natty Lite, Jorts, Old School (RESPECT), Shank, Pomade
AO: Smackdown – The Summit of F3 Chattanooga
The first day of February. After a brutal January, spring still feels so far away. Nevertheless, the mid-30s temperature and dry ground was more than welcome, and we took full advantage of it.
What a turnout! We made our big ellipse in the field, and the cones strewn haphazardly about got some curious looks. No time to dawdle, though. Let’s get to it!
- Imperial Squats
- Overhead Claps
- Cherry Pickers
- Seal Claps
- Crop Dusters (h/t Squirt for the idea, which he debuted at his VQ the day before)
- 10 Octanes
- Mosey lap while I explained…
You can count on Prosciutto for two things:
- Complain if he doesn’t like the workout
- Complain about said workout for at least a year following
Pro has been on Burrito nearly every posting since that day last February, fussing about the “themed workout” that he led. YHC thinks the workout was fantastic and worthy of Chattanooga’s premier AO. I say this even though it started with a running challenge that wrecked my lungs for the next several days. Not so with Pro. His bitterness knows no end. Pro clearly needed to move on. And here we are.
But, Sonic the Hedgehog you say? Well, it wasn’t so long ago that Mr. “No Themed Workouts” himself was half of a Mario & Luigi theme. I should add that it was a very good one. So why not? Besides, we all know that Sonic is better. Can the plumbers do this?
Thought not. Tempted to drop a “QED” here and call it, but there’s so much more.
It wouldn’t be a proper Mansiere workout without a touch of a goofy game. As I explained during the mosey, PAX would “spin up” with an exercise on our six, with the Q calling the cadence. Then everyone will get up and do one more until the Q says “Jailbreak!”. PAX sprint to the opposite goal line, grabbing “rings” (cones) along the way. If the first person to reach the other side can complete five Big Boy Sit-ups before the last person makes it across, then everyone has to do twenty penalty burpees. Recycle found a loophole for this (see Moleskin).
If everyone makes it across in time, then the person who finishes last gives their cones to the first-place finisher. The person with the most cones decides the workout. PAX complete the workout and mosey back to the starting point, tossing their cones out as they return. Repeat.
For the final few minutes, we did a ladder on the bleachers and I debuted a NEW exercise: the Horizontal Toe Merkin. To do this, get into a low plank position. Then use your toes to push your body forward while keeping your back flat. Return to the starting position to complete the rep.
- 10 tricep presses at the bottom
- 20 decline merkins
- 30 horizontal toe merkins
- 40 normal toe merkins
- 50 squats at the top
People who think they’re too big for the small things (like penalty burpees) are usually too small for the big things. So much of success comes from good habits and not taking shortcuts. It works at the level of the individual, up to societies and countries.
Recycle decided that we were not going to do burpees and took it upon himself to pin down whomever reached the opposite goal line first to prevent the penalty. This of course ruined the intent of the rule, which was to keep everyone moving quickly and add some tension as people desperately tried to grab as many cones as possible without costing everyone else. But hilarity trumps everything else, and so it was grudgingly tolerated. Well played, sir!
Zima activated his healing powers and miraculously appeared in the gloom after having back issues. My deep concern and even a hint of dread were unwarranted as he returned to form without so much as a hiccup. And speaking of healing powers and big returns, Manscaper was back after his surprise return to the gloom on the 31st. Welcome back to both!
GET EXCITED FOR THE TUFF MUFF! February 19th.