Florida Man Caught Admiring His Own Glutes in a Local Jack’s Restaurant

QIC:  Mr. Clean

Date: 02/10/2023

PAX: Deer Jack, Florida Man, Milkman, Ponce (Respect), Shake and Bake, Shea, Starbucks, Tar Heel, Tasty Cakes

AO: Shot House 


A cool and crisp 38 degrees.


SSH x25 IC
Forward Fold
Willie Mays Hays x12 IC

The Thang

Some mumbling about “all you really need is Side Straddle Hops and Willie Mays Hays to get warm”, so we moseyed to the track and got ready for the Thang.

Pushing the Gluteus to the Maximus

Every round of exercises was completed in increments of 25 reps. For example: Monkey Humper Round — Pax covered 1200 Yards.

  1. 150 – Monkey Humpers
    Run 100 yds after each set
  2. 125 – Swimmers (Hard Count)
    Run 50 yds after each set
  3. 100 – Fire Hydrants w/Leg Extension (Hard Count)
    Run 100 yds after each set
  4. 75 – Reverse Crunches
    Run 50 yds after each set
  5. 50 – Leg Raises
    Run 100 yds after each set
  6. 25 – 8 Count Body Builders


First, an apology to the Shot House regulars particularly those in attendance on Wednesday as I failed to honor an HC in lieu of a Heart Sack with The M.
Second, we preach of accountability and candor, the value of it, and how it is a very strong aspect in F3 Chattanooga. All of these things I strongly agree with; however, I also wanted to point out; that in our accountability in F3, we have something far greater. We are a group of leaders full of compassion, thoughtfulness, and empathy, and so many of our Pax know how to “read the proverbial room” in terms of helping other Pax maintain accountability. For example, whether than simply telling a guy struggling with weight or fat loss that he needs to get his butt up, workout, and eat less, we have the ability to express this same advice in the appropriate way to motivate those around us. This is a special trait. Simply put, not enough can be said for dropping copious amounts of positivity and encouragement to those around you.

BALL OF MAN: We had one…


Compliments received today:
“I should have gone to Detention”
“This sucks”
“I make a motion to change these to easy count”
“I hate this already”
“You know what, how bout we just go ahead and get those coupons after all”
Additional MC overheard:
“I am not coordinated for this! Well, just know you will drown Shake.”
“I’m really going to be admiring my glutes later”
“What the heck is the difference in these; because (ahem) yeah they feel soooo different on my abs.”
“No one actually believes your that age Ponce, it’s not scientifically possible…Starbucks checked.”
“My butt hurts in so many places…….”


Check out the Announcements Channel on Slack. It has a nice detailed list of upcoming events.
February 25, 2023 — Tuff Muff
March 25, 2023 — Capture the Flag at Shot House

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