The Battery Barometer is Born!

QIC:  Abercrombie

Date: 04/10/2021

PAX: FNG – Conjugal Visit, 9 Volt, Rug Doctor, Deep Dish, Clothespin, Land Yacht, El Chapo, Tin Snip

AO: The Battery


Upper 50’s. Forecast was for rain, but we never received a drop. Nice breeze too. Could not have asked for better conditions.


Ran a practice lab around the course and completed FIVE reps at each station for familiarization of the thang.  So that means:

5 – Deep Squats

5 Merkins

5 Curls (for the girls of course)

5 Big Boys

The Thang

We ran the below route while stopping to do each exercise OYO.  Continue for 35 minutes.  After 35 minutes, each PAX was given a note pad to write down the number of reps completed.   This will serve as a benchmark to measure future fitness improvements. 


We all got crazy going on in our lives, some hide it better than others, but we all have crazy.   I think that during chaotic times it is important to stay plugged in to the positive constants that God has given us.   In John chapter 15 the red words talk about how Jesus is the vine and the importance of staying connected to him.  Jesus is a positive constant for Christians.   Work, family, friends and many other things can be our anchor during the storms in life.  How about F3?  F3 has become a new source of stability in my life for sure!  I guess my words this morning is just to encourage everyone to show up even when you don’t feel like it.  I have never left a beatdown wishing that I stayed in bed, even though I tease the Q and tell him otherwise.  I’m so glad to know that I have a place of refuge during tough times.  Thanks for being there guys!


This iron pax style beatdown was not very conducive to mumble chatter.

Anytime someone hollered “this is stupid”, the QIC smiled and took it as a compliment.

I’m glad there was a fence between Deep Dish and that dog, that could have gotten interesting.

Coffeeteria went great. Nice getting to know our FNG – Conjugal Visit!


Monday nights at Chubby’s is the place to be. Don’t forget that you can always bring items (blankets, tarps, batteries, clothes, sodas, etc.) to your AO and someone will gladly get them to a person in need.

Deep Dish is on Q Tuesday, Blackout on Thursday and 9 Volt on Saturday. Come see us!!

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    lil bit o dis lil bit o dat

    QIC:  Sidekick

    Date: 03/07/2020

    PAX: Coldplay, Threeskin, Bubbles, FNG-Mr May, Snow Patrol, Schnitzel, Shot put, Pork Belly, 9 volt, El Chapo, FNG – Ferly, Mrs. Baker, Deep Dish, Clothespin, Biscuit Ring

    AO: The Battery


    32 feels like 22, 12 mph wind


    SSH ICX20; One legged Bulgarians 10 each leg OYO; SLow Squats ICX15; Forward Fold ICX12; 3rd Grade Exercises ICX12; Will Mays Hays ICX12; Mosey to Tennis court

    Burpee Suicide – Burpee on every line across the tennis court and the start line, normal suicide pattern

    The Thang

    Use that Hill

    Not every AO has a hill so we need to make sure we use this one

    Stolen Lions Den Traffic cone placed halfway up Hell hill.

    10 Plank Jacks – Bear Crawl to Cone – 10 Mercans – Run to top – 20 LBC – Smurf Jacks ICX15 – back to bottom

    10 Mountain CLimbers – Bear Crawl to Cone – 10 Mercans – Run to top – 20 BBSU – Smurf Jacks ICX15 – back to bottom

    10 Mercans – Bear Crawl to Cone – 15 Mercans – Run to top – 20 Dying Cockraoches – Smurf Jacks ICX15 – back to bottom

    Mosey to flat lot

    Mini Doras

    Track is about 50 yards down 50 yards back

    Round 1 – 100 Hand release mercans

    Round 2 – 400 Ray Lewis

    Corn Squats in a circle

    Circle up and hold plank – One guy squats 5 reps with corn – pass off to next guy – all the way around the circle

    “Assisted” BBSU in a circle

    Circle up – Everyone does BBSU to failure – Bag o Corn makes the rounds – do 5 BBSU with corn and pass it on to the next guy – All the way around the circle



    Reflection. Looking back on where we have been and what we have become. F3 Chatt has grown tremendously and will continue to do so. We need to appreciate what we have in F3 Chattanooga. Do what you can to contribute to the growth and betterment of our community


    We all hate smurf jacks. Bubbles with that beard and the hoodie on looked kind of like a garden gnome. Not my words but I can’t dispute them. Biscuit ring knows French, Schnitzel knows German and Russian. The Battery is like a UN meeting.

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      Sidewinder Battery – 8/21

      QIC: Sidewinder

      Date: 08/21/2019

      PAX: Deep Dish, Rug Dr, Clothespin, Mrs Baker, 9Volt, WuzntMe

      AO: The Battery


      Sticky and stinky



      Lots of Shoulder warmup

      The Thang

      Stupid Pavilion
      Merkins 25
      squats w/ rock 25
      Overhead press with rock 25
      Crunches 25
      Take a lap
      Rinse and Repeat decreasing rep count by 5 each rep

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        Saturday – Saturn – The Battery

        QIC: Vila

        Date: 10/05/2019

        PAX: Deep Dish, 9-Volt, El Chapo, Schnitzel, Clothespin, FNG-Shot Put, FNG-Pork Belly

        AO: The Battery


        Warm up:

        1. SSH IC x15
        2. Imperial Walkers IC x15
        3. Forward Fold x15
        4. Plank IC x10
        5. Slow push to up x10
        6. Up Dog x15
        7. Down Dog x15
        8. Mountain Climbers IC x8
        9. Forward Fold x15
        10. Down into frog
        11. Plow Pose


        1. Mosey to the playground
          1. 10 count hang pull up
          2. 10 – Shoulder tap merkins – each arm =1
          3. 10 count hang pull up
          4. 20 – Reverse Angels
          5. 10 count hang pull up
          6. 10 – Side crunch merkins – each leg = 1
        2. SSH IC x25
        3. CottonPickers IC x15
        4. Carolina drydocks IC x15
        5. SSH IC x20
        6. Windmills IC x15
        7. SSH IC x15
        8. Plank IC x20
        9. SSH IC x10
        10. Double Take Burpees x5
        11. SSH IC x5
        12. Alternate until the teams reach the base of Mons
          1. Wheelbarrow – 20 paces each
          2. Seed sowers – 10 together
        13. Hold Al Gore

        Start of the Thang:

        Dora to the top of Mons

        1. Partners will do a Dora where one partner runs up the hill and back while the partner at the base completes:
          1. 100 – merkins
          2. 150 – flutter kicks
          3. 200 – SSH
        2. Run to the lot at the top of Mons
          1. 4 corner – Field Crawls
            a. Bear Crawl
            5 – Double Take Burpees
            b. Crab Walk
            15 – Thrusters
            c. Inch Worm
            20 – LBCs
            d. Bear Crawl5 – Double Take Burpee
        3. Mosey back to the flag
        4. Time Trials – 1 min Mary

        3 rounds @ 1 minute

        Warm Down

        1. Forward Fold x15
        2. Plank IC x10
        3. Slow push to up x10
        4. Up Dog x15
        5. Down Dog x15
        6. Forward Fold x15
        7. Down into frog
        8. Plow Pose


        We are thankful for this morning in the gloom.

        We are thankful for the brotherhood that that it brings.

        We are mindful of and hopeful for all thoughts and prayers, both spoken and unspoken.

        We will carry this into the day, and it will give us the strength, the vision, and the courage to leave this world a better place.

        Leave no man behind, and leave no man like you find him.






        Football Time In TN / Up-downs for days

        QIC: Mayhem

        Date: 08/31/2019

        PAX: Sidekick, Deep Dish, Clothespin, Gaylord, Schnitzel (respect), Bubbles (respect), Rugdoctor (respect – AOQ but on IR), 9-volt (respect), Focker, Wuzntme, Tracksuit,  FNG-Jimmy Neutron

        AO: The Battery


        Another warm humid morning – low 70s


        Mosey from flag up ‘the hill’ to parking lot…circle up


        SSH x 20 IC, 3GE x 15 IC, SSH x 10 IC, WMH x 12 IC, SSH x 10 IC, LBAC front x 10 IC, LBAC back x 10 IC, Moroccan Night Club x 10 IC, Chinnok x 10 IC, Shoulder Press x 10 IC, Worlds Greatest Stretch – left leg forward x 10 IC, WGS – right leg forward x 10 IC, Don Quixote x 10 IC, SSH x 10 IC

        Mosey down hill to outfield of baseball field adjacent to the flags cones set up for two 30yd x 30 yd  “fields”

        PAX on the line – the following exercises 30yds out and back with 10 sec pause between each:

        High Knee, Butt Kickers, Skippers, Karaoke,  Drunken Sailors

        Pair up with HIM of similar stature

        One partner stands 5 yds off the line.  Other partner starts on the line chopping feet, runs to “tackle” other partner and carries them over shoulder to 30 yd marker.  Swithch and repeat back

        The Thang

        Divide into two PAX

        Matriculate the Rock down field

        Each PAX has a QB, RB and the rest are linemen.  On signal, all Linemen chop their feet, QB picks up the rock (literally) turns and hands to RB who signals to entire pax to jailbreak to end zone 30 yds downfield.  When all are in endzone, PAX performs 7 Celebratory Merkins.  Entire pax returns to “line of scrimmage” and repeats the process until all HIM have rotated through each position QB to RB > RB to Line> Line to QB.  For each trip to the endzone, increase number of celebratory Merkins by 7.  Competing PAX perform this for 10 min.  PAX with highest number of points wins, losing PAX has 10 penalty Burpees.  Had to modify as Merkin count got oppressive…started decreasing rep count by 7 after hitting 42.

        In show of camaraderie, all PAX did the penalty Burpees  :))

        Screen Pass

        Each PAX has a QB, Receiver and the rest are linemen.  Receiver lines up in slot behind linemen to the left.  On signal, all Linemen chop their feet, QB picks up football and passes out to Receiver.  On catch Reciever signals to entire pax to jailbreak to end zone 30 yds downfield.  5 Burpee Penalty for entire pax for dropped pass.  When all are in endzone, PAX performs 7 Celebratory Big Boy Sit-Ups.  Entire pax returns to “line of scrimmage” and repeats the process until all HIM have rotated through each position QB to Receiver > Receiver to Line> Line to QB.  For each trip to the endzone, increase number of celebratory Big Boys by 7 until 35 then decrease by 7 for each trip.  Competing PAX perform this for 10 min.  PAX with highest number of points wins, losing PAX has 10 penalty Burpees. 

        Middle Conditioning

        Circle up with Q in center.  Entire Pax begins chopping feet until Q calls “down” at which point each HIM hits chest to the ground and bounce back up on feet (basically a dynamic Burpee) to continue chopping feet. After certain number of up-downs, Q will call the PAX to go down and stay down for a select exercise.  Process continues until time.

        10 Up-downs x 10 Control Freak Merkins IC

        10 Up-downs x 10 Box Cutters IC

        9 Up-downs x 10 Pickle Pointers IC

        7 Up-downs x 10 Shoulder Taps IC

        7 Up-downs x 10 LBCs IC

        6 Up-downs x 10 Hello Dollies IC

        6 Up-downs x 10 flutter kicks IC

        5 Up-downs x 10 toe touch crunches IC

        5 Up-downs x 10 Dying Cockroaches IC

        To be quite honest since didn’t totally account for the full hour workout vs 45 min and due to mental fatigue I really don’t remember what else we did but kept going with various mostly core exercise until we were all totally spent and with a few minutes left finished with a mosey around the dog park to the flags


        Counterama, Namerama, Announcearama and the Ball Of Man.

        Why they call it the Lombardi Trophy…

        What It Takes to be Number One

        “Winning is not a sometime thing; it’s an all the time thing. You don’t win once in a while; you don’t do things right once in a while; you do them right all of the time. Winning is a habit. Unfortunately, so is losing.

        There is no room for second place. There is only one place in my game, and that’s first place. I have finished second twice in my time at Green Bay, and I don’t ever want to finish second again. There is a second place bowl game, but it is a game for losers played by losers. It is and always has been an American zeal to be first in anything we do, and to win, and to win, and to win.

        Every time a football player goes to ply his trade he’s got to play from the ground up – from the soles of his feet right up to his head. Every inch of him has to play. Some guys play with their heads. That’s O.K. You’ve got to be smart to be number one in any business. But more importantly, you’ve got to play with your heart, with every fiber of your body. If you’re lucky enough to find a guy with a lot of head and a lot of heart, he’s never going to come off the field second.

        Running a football team is no different than running any other kind of organization – an army, a political party or a business. The principles are the same. The object is to win – to beat the other guy. Maybe that sounds hard or cruel. I don’t think it is.

        It is a reality of life that men are competitive and the most competitive games draw the most competitive men. That’s why they are there – to compete. The object is to win fairly, squarely, by the rules – but to win.

        And in truth, I’ve never known a man worth his salt who in the long run, deep down in his heart, didn’t appreciate the grind, the discipline. There is something in good men that really yearns for discipline and the harsh reality of head to head combat.

        I don’t say these things because I believe in the ‘brute’ nature of men or that men must be brutalized to be combative. I believe in God, and I believe in human decency. But I firmly believe that any man’s finest hour — his greatest fulfillment to all he holds dear — is that moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle – victorious.”

        – Coach Vincent T. Lombardi

        Apostle Paul put it this way…

        Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win. ~ 1 Cor 9:24

        Encouraged us all that no matter whatever we do we compete to “win”.  Just need to be careful to define what “winning” looks like for each of us.

        BALL OF MAN:  Prayers that we would all strive to be “winners” for our families, in our jobs and for our communities.


        Up-downs are even harder now than I remembered them  playing HS football!!  I hated myself after that beatdown!!!!


        Iron Pax starts next week.  Little did we know how sucky that would be!!

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