50 Shades of Jane Fonda

QIC:  9 Volt

Date: 11/24/20

PAX: Abercrombie, Schnitzel, El Chapo, Deep Dish, Clothespin

AO: The Battery


Well hung


Hobble to the pavilion and take a seat on a table next to one of the harnesses hanging from the rafters.

By popular request from the PAX the Q played the Spotify “70’s Porn music” playlist (Seriously, they asked for it)

1. SSF IC X 20 (Side Straddle Flop – Lay on back and move like SSH with arms & legs 3″ off of table)
2. Baby Arm Circles
Fwd IC X 15
Rev IC X 15
3. Seal Clap
Fwd IC x 15
Overhead IC x 15
4. SSF IC X 20
5. Seated Forward Fold IC x 10
6. Ab Vagoda IC x 10
7. Slow Merkins IC x 10

The Thang

The stirrups are tied with a prusik knot so the height can be adjusted
Set ends at shoulder height from a sitting position
Exercises are done in 1 minute intervals with 1 minute of rest

1. 50 Shades of Jane Fonda
* Feet in loops, lay on back
RH – Roll to right side and lift body so only right shoulder is touching table. Alternately pull legs up to chest and extend.
LH – Roll to left side (repeat)

2. Crab Dips
* Feet in loops, facing up in backwards plank position
Raise and lower body in standard “Dip” fashion while spreading legs in crab jack manner

3. Pickle Pointers (In bondage)
Enough said, (use your imagination)

4. Spread Eagle Merkins
* Feet in loops, facing down in plank position
Perform merkins using a scissor motion with your legs

5. Don’t fall off the table (Abercrombie)
* Feet in loops, facing down in plank position
Grip table top with hands to hold torso still
Swing legs far to the side alternating right and left sides

6. Sled Dogs ( If your not in front the view doesn’t change)
* Feet in loops, facing down in plank position (Don’t look up)
Bear crawl forward and backward

7. Star Gazers
* Lay on back, Grip lops with hands
With legs extended, pull body up while spreading loops as far as possible

8. Dips
* Hands in loops in typical “Dip” position

9. Ab Extensions
* On feet crouched over the loops with one hand in each loop
Lean forward and extend your upper body away from your feet

Rinse and repeat


Words of wisdom

  1. Don’t tug on superman’s cape
  2. Don’t spit into the wind
  3. Don’t pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger
  4. Don’t mess around with Jim


I think Clothespin may have stolen one of the harnesses
Look out Loretta!

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