Dead Hooker Burial

QIC:  TinSnip

Date: 09/18/2022

PAX: Clothespin, Deep Dish, Cheny, Abercrombie, Pipeline, El Chapo,  9 Volt, Cooter, WetDream, Molly Maid

AO: The-Battery


Perfect Morning Gloom for a beatdown no excuses on conditions


SSH – 50 IC

BAC Forward – 1 0 IC

BAC Reverse – 10 IC

Willie Mays Hayes – 10 each IC

Downward Dog Calf Stretch

Scrap the Tip

Indian Run a Lap to the Pavilion – 6th sprint to the front

The Thang

Interval Timer

1:30 min Stargazers

1 min Left Leg Step Up

1 min Right Leg Step Up

1:30 min Oblique Crunch switch side halfway

1:30 min Dips

1 min Star Curls

1 min Left Leg Bulgarian Split Squat

1 min Right Leg Bulgarian Split Squat

1 min Jack Knifes

Rinse and Repeat one more round

Mosey to the top of the hill each man grabs two coupons and makes two even stacks at the cones. Setup cones 40 paces apart to make two lines. Then setup two cones 30 paces apart to make a 45° leg for each group. Staged 60 lbs heavy drop bags (dead hookers) at the start cone for each group. Separate into two groups of blondes and brunets. Each Pax member carries the dead hooker around the 45° cone to represent finding a location to bury the body. After each pax has completed search for a burial spot each pax member relays to the stack of coupons and moves one coupon to the other side of the cone to represent digging a hole. After all coupons are on the other side one the next pax member of the relay carries the dead hooker to the hole. Then continue the relay moving the coupons back to the other side to represent burying the dead hooker.


Find a challenge that puts you outside your comfort zone. Use that to push yourself to grow.


Some of these men appeared to have previous experience with carrying the dead weight of a body. So for my personal safety I did not ask any questions.


Chubbys homeless ministry – need volunteers every Monday of the month EXCEPT the first Monday.

Recent Backblasts


    QIC: [Tinsnip

    Date: [01/29/2022]

    PAX: Abercrombie, Cooter, El Chapo

    AO: The Battery


    So cold it busted my ball! 19 degrees but with the breeze felt more like an artic mission was about to happen than a workout.


       Side straddle hops 20

       LBOC forward 10

       LBOC backwards 10

         Keep arms up

       Raise the roof 10

       Forward fold 10

       Willy Mays Hays

    The Thang

    Lets roll 5s
    Setup 4 stages with 4 workouts at each stage. Set up yard dart game in-between 2 of the stages with a heater to the side. At each stage everyone rolls a dice. If you roll a 5 everyone at that stage does 5 burpees. Starting at stage 1 you do 1 rep each. Mosey to the next stage and do 1 rep each until all stages completed. Rinse and repeat but add one rep every time around. At each stage everyone rolls a dice. If you roll a 5 everyone at that stage does 5 burpees. At any point you want to warm your hands you can take a turn at the yard dart game. If you hit the circle everyone does 5 burpees while you sit by the heater until they finish. If you miss you do 5 thrusters.

    Stage 1


    OH Press


    Kettle Swings

    Stage 2

    Dive Bombers

    LB Crunch

    Plank Shoulder Taps

    Imperial Walker

    Stage 3

    Side Straddle Hops

    Mountain Climbers


    Flutter Kicks

    Stage 4



    4 Way Lung (lung front, side, back, squat each leg)

    Toe Merkins

    Rinse and Repeat


    Took the time to thank the men for showing up in this miserable gloom to workout with me. Being a part of the F# Nation even though I can only come on the Saturday workout has been a great experience.


    We rolled 5s 18 times at the stages and yard darts added 3 more times. We completed 5 rounds of the stages. The pax stayed together which was nice for a small group in 19° weather. The goal for a large group would be for each pax member to go at their own pace which allows each pax member to make their workout match their fitness level. Also, this allows a random member to come into a stage and roll the dice. With that you could be half way through your stage and someone shows up and adds burpees to your round. This should push pax members to finish before a new person shows up to roll the dice. We did hard count on the 4 way lungs which sucks and should be modified. I had intentions of playing a soccer style game with a 6ft beachball I brought but the cold weather made the plastic brittle and it cracked before we ever started. This with be something for another day! I was surprised how eager the Pax was to get to 100 burpees. Don’t underestimate the amount of suck someone will go through to make another Pax member do burpees haha!


    Tuff Muff coming up and Chubby’s Ministry

    Recent Backblasts

      At Least it Wasn’t Raining

      QIC: M.I.A.

      Date: 12/30/2021

      PAX: 9-Volt, Abercrombie, Cooter, El Chapo, Man Bun, Schnitzel, Woodrider, WuzntMe 

      AO: The Battery


      The conditions of this week made the Q happy. The PAX may or not feel the same.


      Hand Release Merkins,
      Flutter Kicks,
      It was all downhill from there.

      The Thang

      The PAX split into two teams. One team only had 4 people, but that team had Abercrombie, so they were still better off.

      Each team member manned a station and rotated stations when the control station completed the workout prescribed.

      Heat 1
      Control – Army Crawl 10 yards and back
      OH Press w/ coupon
      Hand Release Merkins

      Winners: 1 Round of Maker Boilers
      Losers: Stayed at home in their Fartsack

      Heat 2
      Same as Heat 1

      Winners: 1 Round of Boiler Makers
      Losers: Stayed at home in their Fartsack

      Heat 3
      Control – Dying Seal 10 yards
      Curls for the Girls
      Flutter Kicks

      Winners: 1 Round of Indigenous Lunge Line
      Losers: Stayed at home in their Fartsack

      Heat 4
      Same as Heat 3

      Winners: 1 Round of Maker Boilers
      Losers: Stayed at home in their Fartsack

      Heat 5
      Control – Shrimp 10 yards
      Curls for the Girls
      Flutter Kicks

      Winners: 2 Minutes of Mary
      Losers: Inverted plank


      “A goal without a plan is just a wish” – Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
      YHC didn’t know the source of the quote until typing this, but was not expecting a French aristocrat.

      This time of year is a great time to both set and review goals. Goals are not the same as resolutions. New Year’s resolutions seem to be putting off action to start when it seems it will be convenient. A year though, or a month, or a week can be a convenient time to set a time frame for a goal.

      It is important to set goals to improve yourself in your physical health, your relational health and your spiritual health. Evaluate your circumstances and make a goal to improve each of them.


      It didn’t rain a single drop during the workout. Were there seven idiots sitting in the rain for coffeeteria, though? Absolutely.

      Before the beatdown, Woodrider observed the setting up of the apparatus the PAX would crawl under for the army crawls and mused on the time to commute to Legacy.

      There was mumble chatter during SSH, this is to be expected.
      There was silence when YHC announced hand release merkins to follow up.
      There was grumble chatter when Flutter Kicks were announced next. Grumble chatter still ensues.

      A few of the PAX really nailed some of these new modes of transportation. For example, Man Bun can army crawl faster than YHC can jog (not a high bar, but he cleared it easily).

      YHC announced that the “Dying Seal” could be named by the PAX who best completed the exercise. 9-Volt won hands down. While he may not have been the fastest, definitely the most fun to watch.

      At some point during a boiler maker Woodrider was apparently inserted into Man Bun’s “V”.

      All the PAX who participated today were Winners.

      A few definitions for the uncouth:

      Boiler Makers – PAX form a single file line and assume a plank position. Rear most PAX Bear Crawls to the front, repeating in the style of indigenous persons ambulating quickly.

      Maker Boilers – The same as a Boiler Maker, however the front most PAX Crawl Bears to the rear of the line.

      Dying Seal – This name is not set in stone, but the workout will be repeated… many times. PAX lays perpendicular to their planned route of travel. Legs and Head held from the ground as though preparing to do crunches. PAX rocks forward from shoulders to hips while rocking shoulders side to side in order to propel themselves. No part of the PAX other than their back should touch the ground. Words really cannot describe. Please see 9-Volt for a demonstration.

      Shrimp – PAX lays flat on their back with the right foot planted beside their left knee, pushing with the right foot the PAX propels themselves on to their left side moving backwards. Alternating between legs, this makes for a slow, but ineffective mode of transportation.


      Convergence 1/1/2022 at Anvil at 0700.

      12 Mile Ruck starting at Hacksaw at 0530 12/31/2021

      F3 S&M in the AM (with bricks)

      QIC:  9 Volt

      Date: 8/26/21

      PAX: Abercrombie, Deep Dish, Cooter, Pipeline

      AO: The Battery


      Like an armpit


      Mosey to the play ground. On the way pick up two bricks from the trunk of the sea foam green piece of shit camry

      The Q just returned to Tennessee from 13,000 feet of elevation. Lets see if it helps with cardio

      The warm up was done WITH bricks

      1. SSH IC X 15 (with bricks)
      2. Baby Arm Circles
      Fwd IC X 15 (with bricks)
      Rev IC X 15 (with bricks)
      3. FSH – Front Straddle hop (Arms as usual but legs go forward and backward) (with bricks)
      4. Seal Clap IC x 15 (with bricks)
      5. Chinook ICx15 (with bricks)
      6. SSF – Side Straddle Flop ( SSH while laying on the ground w/ shoulders off the ground)
      7. Willie Maze Haze ICx10
      5. Forward Fold IC x 10

      The Thang

      • The pullups are done in pairs with one person holding the others ankles and taking some weight off of them while they perform the pull ups. (Form doesn’t matter just make it hurt)
      • Pairs swap out when one gets tired of pull ups
      • All rounds are done for 1 minute on and 30 seconds break
      • Pendulum – Bent over in “Row” position with bricks in hands touching. swing bricks side to side trying to use shoulders.
      • Water Fall – Brick in each hand, lift to eye level with bricks close to body. Extend arms and lower slowly with arms straight.
      1Jump Rope (1Min)
      2Pull up
      3Side Raise (with bricks)
      5Hand Release Merkins
      6 Jump Rope (1Min)
      7Pull Ups
      8Tricept Ext (with bricks)
      9Pendelum (with bricks)
      10Dry Docks
      11Front Raise (with bricks)
      12 Jump Rope (1Min)
      13Pull ups
      14Moroccan night club (with bricks)
      15Water Fall (with bricks)
      16Military Press (with bricks)
      17Bent over rows (with bricks)
      18 Jump Rope (1Min)
      19Pull ups

      Rinse and repeat as necessary


      Words of wisdom

      I know you were expecting Mrs Baker this morning and had mentally prepared yourself for a ballanced, well thought out beatdown. The moral of the storie is to accept the inevitable suprises life throws at you. At the end of the day were all just insignificant specs floating through life. That is why we believe in a higher power


      No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!
      Jump ropes suck
      13,000 ft of altitude is nothing compared to 100% humidity

      Recent Backblasts

        He said, She said ( aka. What she said)

        QIC: 9-Volt

        Date: 05/18/21

        PAX: El Chapo, Mrs Baker, Clothes Pin, Cold Play, Thin Mint, Tinkerbell, Abercrombie, FNG “Pipe Line”, Schnitzel, Rug Doctor

        AO: The Battery


        Factitious disorder
        Factitious disorder is a serious mental disorder in which someone deceives others by appearing sick, by purposely getting sick or by self-injury. Factitious disorder also can happen when family members or caregivers falsely present others, such as children, as being ill, injured or impaired.

        Factitious disorder symptoms can range from mild (slight exaggeration of symptoms) to severe (previously called Munchausen syndrome). The person may make up symptoms or even tamper with medical tests to convince others that treatment, such as high-risk surgery, is needed.

        Factitious disorder is not the same as inventing medical problems for practical benefit, such as getting out of work or winning a lawsuit. Although people with factitious disorder know they are causing their symptoms or illnesses, they may not understand the reasons for their behaviors or recognize themselves as having a problem.

        Factitious disorder is challenging to identify and hard to treat. However, medical and psychiatric help are critical for preventing serious injury and even death caused by the self-harm typical of this disorder.

        Please enjoy this playlist while the person you are calling decides if they want to talk to you


        Mosey around the dog park and finish in the Skate park on side labeled “He said”
        PAX lines up on one end of the skate park & performs the “He said” exercise. Then PAX immediately runs to opposite side of park and performs the “She said” exercise. Repeat

        He SaidCountShe SaidCount
        BAC Fwd15SSH10
        BAC Rev15SSH10
        Seal Clap15SSH10
        Fwd Fold10SSH10
        Military Press15SSH10

        The Thang

        Without any rest PAX moves on to second list of exercises

        He siadCount She saidCount
        Plank Jack30Squat20
        Peter Parker30Imp Walker20
        Burpee10Bonnie Blair20
        Merkin20High Knees20
        Mt. Climber25Calf Raise30
        Bear CrawlLunge
        Carolina Dry Dock20Sit Ups25
        100’s25Box Cutter25
        American Hammer20Dive Bomber15
        Freddie Merc20Flutter Kick20

        Repeat until end of time


        Words of wisdom – “When life gives you dive bombers, make groundhogs” …. Cold Play

        Mole Skin

        At the insistence of Cold Play, the dive bombers were changed to Groundhogs

        Police have issued a nationwide Amber Alert for Deep Dish and are reportedly questioning acquaintances of in hopes of finding and returning the him safely to his PAX


        5/19/21 Invade Hacksaw
        5/21/21 Rhianna appreciation day at Hacksaw

        Recent Backblasts

          Ewe Vs. Ewe – A lesbian sheep workout

          QIC: 9 Volt

          Date: 05/13/2021

          PAX:  Clothespin, WuzntMe, Thin Mint, El Chapo, Rug Doctor

          AO: The Battery

          Note:  The QIC inspired the PAX throughout the entire beat down with this playlist


          • Blood pressure:  120/80 mm Hg.
          • Breathing: 18 breaths per minute.
          • Pulse: 150 beats per minute.
          • Temperature:  98.6°F (measured the bad way)


          Mosey bottom of Mount Evil
          SSH ICx20,  Squats ICx20, Baby arm circle fwdx15, revx15, sealclapx15, SSH ICx20, Forward fold ICx10, High Knees ICx20, Willy Maze Haze ICx10

          The Thang

          Mount Evil Suicides
          PAX runs down and back up between exercises
               Turn around when leader passes you
                Do 2 extra reps for every person you pass

          1. 15 Smurf Jacks
          2. 20 Hand Release Merkins
          3. 20 Crab jacks
          4. 30 calf raises
          5. 20 Cap’t Thor (In the grass or you’ll get an F3 tramp stamp)
          6. 25 Carolina Dry Docks
          7. 30 LBC
          8. 20 Lunge
          9. 25 Wide Merkins
          10. 20 SSH
          11. 20 Monkey Humpers

          Bernie Sanders to the flags


          Rihanna rules






          Recent Backblasts

            What a fool believes

            QIC: 9 Volt

            Date: 4/01/2021

            PAX: Deep Dish, El Chapo, Abercrombie, RugDoctor, Clothespin, Thin Mint

            AO:  The Battery


            “However, this restriction will not apply in the event of the occurrence (certified by the United States Centers for Disease Control or successor body) of a widespread viral infection transmitted via bites or contact with bodily fluids that causes human corpses to reanimate and seek to consume living human flesh, blood, brain or nerve tissue and is likely to result in the fall of organized civilization.”



            Mosey to the side walk

            SSH x 20 IC
            BAC Fwd x 15 IC
            BAC Rev x 15 IC
            Seal Clap x 15 IC
            SSH x 20 IC
            Slow Squat x 15 IC
            Dirty Dog x 20 OYO
            Slow SSH 10 IC
            Willie Maze Haze x 15IC
            Mosey to the first light pole

            The Thang
            PAX performs round of each exercise at all 10 light poles increasing quantity successively then moves to pavilion for 2nd part of round.

            Round 1. Merkins  5 + 1
            Round 2. Squats 10 +2
            Round 3. Monkey Humpers 20-1

            Mosey to the pavilion
            Round 1
            Rock Curls (max in 1 minute)     
            Stargazers (max in 1 minute)
            Dips (max in 1 minute)
            Mosey back to beginning.
            Round 2
            Step ups (With or without rock)
            Calf Raise 
            Box Jumps
            Mosey back to beginning.



            “If you make a woman laugh, you’ve half-undressed her.”

            However, if you half-undress and she laughs, that’s a different thing altogether.



            MayHem should get a new insurance agent before he cuts down any more trees

            My wife called me a fool after she saw my new pimped out block (Thanks to El Chapo and his 1975 pop up camper for the fabric )



            Recent Backblasts

              22X2s at the Battery

              QIC:  Sidekick

              Date: 03/20/2021

              PAX: Rug Doctor; Abercrombie; Mrs. Baker; 9-Volt; Deep Dish; FNG-Homer; Tinkerbell; Kashmir; Tin Snip; Land yacht

              AO: The Battery


              41 and clear


              Forward Fold ICX12; Willie Mays Hays ICX12; SSH ICX20; 3rd Grade Exercises ICX12; LBAC-REV-Overhead Claps-Seal Claps ICX10; Slow Squats

              Mosey to Pickle ball Courts

              Each Pax chooses a baseline, one left blank due to 11 pax instead of 12

              One PAX is on the COREt of Honor and calls 25 reps of a CORE exercise; once complete, PAX rise and run a lap plus one baseline. Rotate through in this manner until all PAX have called an exercise. We stopped after 7 rounds due to time to complete our 22sX2s

              The Thang

              Mosey over to the Pavilion

              22s X 2s is basically an 11s, but double the reps.

              Start with 20 Dercans; run to the Prius and back; 2 Squats; Run to the Prius and back; 18 Dercans; Run to the Prius and back; 4 Squats;

              Continue in this manner until you end with 2 Dercans and 20 squats

              Mosey back to the flag for 2 CORE exercises



              Parable with Jesus giving the blind man sight is relatable to our lives today. What is it that blinds us? Keeps us from seeing the true path to a relationship with Christ.


              Love my trips to the Battery. Can’t wait to be back


              Convergence at Ridgecut on Wednesday to honor Night Sweats

              Recent Backblasts

                Five! Because we can’t count no higher.

                QIC:  Abercrombie

                Date: 03/04/2021

                PAX: Deep Dish, 9 Volt, Mrs. Baker, Tinkerbell, Thin Mint

                AO: The Battery


                Clear and 35. It felt warmer than that though for some reason.


                • SSH – IC x 42
                • Forward Fold
                • Arm Circles – IC x 42

                The Thang

                In honor of Deep Dish turning 42, I thought it would be appropriate to do 42 reps of everything in increments of Five. Increments of five is important since Deep Dish does not like to count any higher.

                • Big Boys in increment of 5 until we complete 42 reps
                • Burpees in increment of 5 until we complete 42 reps
                • Merkins in increment of 5 until we complete 42 reps
                • Bicep Curls with block in increment of 5 until we complete 42 reps
                • Dips in increment of 5 until we complete 42 reps
                • Shoulder press with block in increment of 5 until we complete 42 reps
                • Slow Squats in increment of 5 until we complete 102 reps because we want Deep Dish to live until he is 102 years old. 


                On several occasions while discussing life’s challenges with my wife, she has asked “what do your F3 guys say about that”?  My response is always the same, “I’m not going to tell them about my problems”.  Well, after nine months and more than 100 beatdowns with men that I have grown to trust, I decided to test the waters and open up a bit.  I shared some parenting challenges that I’ve been having with one of my kids and received some much needed advice.  There is no doubt that God has placed some very smart guys in my life to not only beat me down but build me up and provide much needed guidance.  I guess it was kind of a milestone in my F3 experience and I would encourage others to do the same. 

                Proverbs 12:15 – The way of a fool is right in his own eyes: but he that seeks counsel is wise.


                Well, turns out today was not Deep Dish’s birthday LOL!


                Coldplay is on Q at The Battery Saturday. It may or may not be his 40th birthday. Hmmm

                I’ll be altering trusses and putting down plywood flooring in my barn after the Saturday beatdown if anyone is interested in being paid with cheap pizza and cheap beer. A couple PAX have also volunteered to come up Sunday afternoon as well.

                Recent Backblasts

                  The way of the Groundhog

                  QIC:  9-Volt

                  Date: 02/01/2021 

                  PAX: Clothes Pin, Mrs Baker; Thin Mint

                  AO: The Battery



                  Good morning campers. Rise and shine for the groundhog day edition of F3. I’m 9-Volt and I will be your zoologist for today’s festivities. I am not a professional and do not know your medical conditions or limitations. You are here on your own volition. Push yourself but modify as necessary so as not to injure yourself.

                  The Q prepared a special ground hog’s day playlist starting with Sonny and Cher’s “I got you babe” followed by Polka music by Weird Al Yankovic (Check him out on Spotify)


                  • SSH IC x 20
                  • Abe Vigoda IC x 20
                  • SSH IC x 20
                  • Arm Circles
                    • Fwd IC x 15
                    • Rev IC x 15
                  • Seal Clap IC x 15
                  • Miltary Press IC x 15
                  • Chinook IC x 10
                  • SSH IC x 20

                  The Thang

                  Groundhog Day
                  * PAX moseys to the tennis court
                  * The short end of the court is the groundhog tunnel
                  * The long end of the court is the open prairie
                  * Each tunnel has a list of exercises
                  Starting at point 1 the PAX will perform the 1st exercise and then groundhog crawl to the other end of the tunnel (point2)
                  At the end of the tunnel the PAX will perform 3 “Groundhogs” before answering a groundhog fun fact quiz.
                  A. PAX answers incorrectly – crawl back to opposite end of tunnel, perform exercise and groundhogs again before answering again
                  B. PAX answers correctly – run across the open prairie to the other tunnel and repeat using the exercise list for that tunnel.
                  * Upon arriving back at point 1 the PAX advances to next exercise on list

                  Tunnel 1-2
                  15 x Squats
                  20 x Lunges (10 each leg)
                  10 x Smurf Jacks

                  Tunnel 3-4
                  10 x Sit ups
                  10 x Unlawful monkey carnal knowedge
                  20 x 100’s


                  Words of Wisdom:

                  Q1          Give 3 alternate names for groundhogs
                  Woodchuck, Chucklings, Whistlepig, Mouse bear,Wood shick, groundpig, thickwood badger, moonack, weenusk, red monk and among French Canadians sifleux

                  Q2          Groundhogs are one of 14 species of _______________

                  Q3          What is the average weight of an adult groundhog?

                  Q4          What continents are groundhogs found on?
                                  North America

                  Q5          What is the temperature of a hibernating groundhog?
                                  37.2 degrees

                  Q6          T/F  Groundhogs are listed as a threatened species

                  Q7          Groundhogs are;
                  a. Herbivores
                  b. Carnivores
                  c. Vegans

                  Q8          What are young groundhogs called?

                  Q9          What is your favorite color?

                  Q10        What is the lifespan of a groundhog?
                  3-6 years

                  Q11        What do groundhogs eat during hibernation?

                  Q12        According to the Integrated Taxonomic Information System, what is the tribe of the groundhog?                Marmotini

                  Q13        According to Cornell University, How much wood could a wood chuck chuck?

                  Q14        What is the name of a group of groundhogs?

                  Q15        T/F Groundhogs can climb trees?            

                  Q16        T/F Groundhogs can swim?

                  Q17        T/F Groundhogs do not drink water?
                  T, they get their liquids from plants

                  Q18        T/F Groundhogs are nocturnal?

                  Q19        Who was the director of Groundhog Day?
                  Harold Ramis

                  Q20        What was the name of the character played by Stephen Tobolowski?
                  Ned Ryerson

                  Q21        What song is playing on the radio when the alarm clock goes off?
                  I got you babe

                  Q22        What year was Groundhog Day released?

                  Q23        Where was Groundhog Day filmed?
                  Woodstock IL

                  Q24        How many inches do groundhog’s teeth grow per week?



                  If this doesn’t make you feel better about yourself, nothing will

                  I think Sonny is wearing a ground hog vest

                  The average score on the ground hog quiz was a 37%
                  There will be no curve


                  Recent Backblasts