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Blood Sweat and Tears (and other fluids)

QIC: 9-Volt

Date: 4/27/2023

PAX: Ricki Lake, Term Limit, Full Moon, Ram Rod, Pipe Line, Glitter Bomb, Bernie, Joe Jelly

AO: Hacksaw

Conditions

I got soul and I’m super bad – James Brown

COP

PAX Meet at the pavillion with blocks

SSHIn Cadence20
Willy Maze HazeIn Cadence10
Forward FoldIn Cadence
(As God intended)		10
Down Dog
Up Dog
Tea Time
Runner’s Stretch
Baby Arm Circles – FwdIn Cadence10
Baby Arm Circles – RevIn Cadence10
Seal ClapIn Cadence10
SSHIn Cadence
(Allegro)		10

The Thang – Soul Train Tribute

The PAX may use a block for extra resistance

Exercise Qty
Block Lunge10Each Side
Split Calf Raise- straight leg 10Elevate one foot on a bench. Keep leg straight
Split Calf Raise- Bent Leg10Elevate one foot on a bench. Keep leg bent
Block lift 10Sit on bench, put toe in block, lift with ankle
1 leg squat10Stand on block put one foot in air, lower until it touches the ground
Angled calf raise20Back against wall at angle, plant heel and toe raise
Squats w/block20
Lounge Act20Each side
Monkey Humpers20
Belly Flop Flutter Kick20Lay on your belly
Touch Rafters10Jump up and touch rafters
Jump Rope1 Min
Standing leg lift10each side
Repeat above exercises once
100’s20
BBSU20
Burpees10
Extra Credit was given for farting while performing standing leg lifts
Contestants were disqualified if they shit themselves (Pipe Line)

The soundrack for this morning festivities was inspired by watching Soul Train every Saturday during the 70’s

COT

Pay attention to all the muscles we used today that you didn’t know you had. If you are unballanced you should feel it tomorrow.

Moleskin
Great sphincter control was demonstrated by all in attendance

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    F3 S&M in the AM (with bricks)

    QIC:  9 Volt

    Date: 8/26/21

    PAX: Abercrombie, Deep Dish, Cooter, Pipeline

    AO: The Battery

    Conditions

    Like an armpit

    COP

    Mosey to the play ground. On the way pick up two bricks from the trunk of the sea foam green piece of shit camry

    The Q just returned to Tennessee from 13,000 feet of elevation. Lets see if it helps with cardio

    The warm up was done WITH bricks

    1. SSH IC X 15 (with bricks)
    2. Baby Arm Circles
    Fwd IC X 15 (with bricks)
    Rev IC X 15 (with bricks)
    3. FSH – Front Straddle hop (Arms as usual but legs go forward and backward) (with bricks)
    4. Seal Clap IC x 15 (with bricks)
    5. Chinook ICx15 (with bricks)
    6. SSF – Side Straddle Flop ( SSH while laying on the ground w/ shoulders off the ground)
    7. Willie Maze Haze ICx10
    5. Forward Fold IC x 10

    The Thang

    • The pullups are done in pairs with one person holding the others ankles and taking some weight off of them while they perform the pull ups. (Form doesn’t matter just make it hurt)
    • Pairs swap out when one gets tired of pull ups
    • All rounds are done for 1 minute on and 30 seconds break
    • Pendulum – Bent over in “Row” position with bricks in hands touching. swing bricks side to side trying to use shoulders.
    • Water Fall – Brick in each hand, lift to eye level with bricks close to body. Extend arms and lower slowly with arms straight.
    RoundExercise
    1Jump Rope (1Min)
    2Pull up
    3Side Raise (with bricks)
    4Dips
    5Hand Release Merkins
    6 Jump Rope (1Min)
    7Pull Ups
    8Tricept Ext (with bricks)
    9Pendelum (with bricks)
    10Dry Docks
    11Front Raise (with bricks)
    12 Jump Rope (1Min)
    13Pull ups
    14Moroccan night club (with bricks)
    15Water Fall (with bricks)
    16Military Press (with bricks)
    17Bent over rows (with bricks)
    18 Jump Rope (1Min)
    19Pull ups

    Rinse and repeat as necessary

    COT

    Words of wisdom

    I know you were expecting Mrs Baker this morning and had mentally prepared yourself for a ballanced, well thought out beatdown. The moral of the storie is to accept the inevitable suprises life throws at you. At the end of the day were all just insignificant specs floating through life. That is why we believe in a higher power

    Moleskin

    No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!
    Jump ropes suck
    13,000 ft of altitude is nothing compared to 100% humidity

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      Something Wicked This Way Moseys

      QIC:  9 Volt

      Date: 01/09/21

      PAX: Abercrombie, Deep Dish, Clothespin, Mrs. Baker, Abercrombie

      AO: The Battery

      Conditions

      The novel combines elements of fantasy and horror, analyzing the conflicting natures of good and evil which exist within all individuals. 

      COP

      Mosey to the play ground. On the way pick up two bricks from the trunk of the sea foam green piece of shit camry

      The Q injured his hamstring recently and since it was bothering him. He thought why not make it bother Everyone so no leg work today.

      The warm up was done WITHOUT bricks

      1. SSH IC X 15
      2. Baby Arm Circles
      Fwd IC X 15
      Rev IC X 15
      3. FSH – Front Straddle hop (Arms as usual but legs go forward and backward)
      4. Seal Clap IC x 15
      5. Chinook ICx15
      6. SSF – Side Straddle Flop ( SSH while laying on the ground w/ shoulders off the ground)
      7. Willie Maze Haze ICx10
      5. Forward Fold IC x 10

      The Thang

      • The pullups are done in pairs with one person holding the others ankles and taking some weight off of them while they perform the pull ups. (Form doesn’t matter just make it hurt)
      • Pairs swap out when one gets tired of pull ups
      • All rounds are done for 1 minute on and 30 seconds break
      • Pendulum – Bent over in “Row” position with bricks in hands touching. swing bricks side to side trying to use shoulders.
      • Water Fall – Brick in each hand, lift to eye level with bricks close to body. Extend arms and lower slowly with arms straight.
      RoundExercise
      1Pull up
      2Side Raise (with bricks)
      3Dips
      4Hand Release Merkins
      5Pull Ups
      6Tricept Ext (with bricks)
      7Pendelum (with bricks)
      8Dry Docks
      9Front Raise (with bricks)
      10Pull ups
      11Moroccan night club (with bricks)
      12Water Fall
      13Military Press (with bricks)
      14Bent over rows (with bricks)
      15Pull ups

      Rinse and repeat as necessary
      The PAX demanded that the last 10 minutes of the beat down be spent doing core but I don’t remember what it was, only that it was bad.

      COT

      Words of wisdom

      Today is the first day of the rest of your life

      Moleskin

      Deep Dish has heavy ankles
      Pullups suck
      Writing in the 3rd person is cool
      This post is a week late so why am I bothering unless I plan on reusing it:)

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        Have a Funky Little Christmas

        QIC:  9 Volt

        Date: 12/15/20

        PAX: Abercrombie, Deep Dish, Clothespin, MaYhem,

        AO: The Battery

        Conditions

        A distinctly seasonal flavor thanks to the presence of orange peel, juniper berries, ginger root, cardamom and cloves. Nutmeg, ginger and cinnamon are notable flavors. Honey is also featured in the fermentation process. A caramel malt flavor and spices define this Ale.

        COP

        Mosey to the top of Mount Evil and grab two bricks from the pile.

        Nothing says Christmas quite like James Brown so the Q played “James Brown’s Funky Christmas” Album
        ** For you Millennials, An album is a group of songs that you buy all at once only to discover that most of them suck

        1. SSH IC X 20 (With bricks)
        2. Baby Arm Circles (With bricks)
        Fwd IC X 10
        Rev IC X 10
        3. Seal Clap
        Fwd IC x 10
        Overhead IC x 10
        4. SSH IC X 15 (No bricks)
        5. Forward Fold IC x 10
        6. Ab Vagoda IC x 10 (With bricks, because some jackass had to ask)
        7. Slow Merkins IC x 10
        ***10 penalty burpees because Deepdish broke a brick (Damit Deepdish)

        The Thang

        The PAX starts on curb next to the pool & performs exercise labeled Haaaaah!
        Then run to the opposite side of the parking lot and begin the exercise labeled Good God!, but don’t start counting until the six joins the group.

        Haaaah!Count Good God!Count
        Plank Jack20Squat20
        Peter Parker15Imp Walker15
        Front raise (Brick)20Bonnie Blair10
        Merkin10High Knees10
        Mt. Climber10Calf Raise30
        Inch Worm (Brick)Lunge
        Carolina Dry Dock10Sit Ups15
        100’s10Box Cutter10
        American Hammer10Dive Bomber10
        Freddie Merc10Flutter Kick10

        COT

        Words of wisdom

        Christmas sweaters are best purchased in July
        Hide your sweater from your wife or it will dissapear

        Moleskin

        Why does somebody always ask if it’s four count?

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          50 Shades of Jane Fonda

          QIC:  9 Volt

          Date: 11/24/20

          PAX: Abercrombie, Schnitzel, El Chapo, Deep Dish, Clothespin

          AO: The Battery

          Conditions

          Well hung

          COP

          Hobble to the pavilion and take a seat on a table next to one of the harnesses hanging from the rafters.

          By popular request from the PAX the Q played the Spotify “70’s Porn music” playlist (Seriously, they asked for it)

          1. SSF IC X 20 (Side Straddle Flop – Lay on back and move like SSH with arms & legs 3″ off of table)
          2. Baby Arm Circles
          Fwd IC X 15
          Rev IC X 15
          3. Seal Clap
          Fwd IC x 15
          Overhead IC x 15
          4. SSF IC X 20
          5. Seated Forward Fold IC x 10
          6. Ab Vagoda IC x 10
          7. Slow Merkins IC x 10

          The Thang

          The stirrups are tied with a prusik knot so the height can be adjusted
          Set ends at shoulder height from a sitting position
          Exercises are done in 1 minute intervals with 1 minute of rest

          1. 50 Shades of Jane Fonda
          * Feet in loops, lay on back
          RH – Roll to right side and lift body so only right shoulder is touching table. Alternately pull legs up to chest and extend.
          LH – Roll to left side (repeat)

          2. Crab Dips
          * Feet in loops, facing up in backwards plank position
          Raise and lower body in standard “Dip” fashion while spreading legs in crab jack manner

          3. Pickle Pointers (In bondage)
          Enough said, (use your imagination)

          4. Spread Eagle Merkins
          * Feet in loops, facing down in plank position
          Perform merkins using a scissor motion with your legs

          5. Don’t fall off the table (Abercrombie)
          * Feet in loops, facing down in plank position
          Grip table top with hands to hold torso still
          Swing legs far to the side alternating right and left sides

          6. Sled Dogs ( If your not in front the view doesn’t change)
          * Feet in loops, facing down in plank position (Don’t look up)
          Bear crawl forward and backward

          7. Star Gazers
          * Lay on back, Grip lops with hands
          With legs extended, pull body up while spreading loops as far as possible

          8. Dips
          * Hands in loops in typical “Dip” position

          9. Ab Extensions
          * On feet crouched over the loops with one hand in each loop
          Lean forward and extend your upper body away from your feet

          Rinse and repeat

          COT

          Words of wisdom

          1. Don’t tug on superman’s cape
          2. Don’t spit into the wind
          3. Don’t pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger
          4. Don’t mess around with Jim

          Moleskin

          I think Clothespin may have stolen one of the harnesses
          Look out Loretta!

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