Dirty Regifter Santa

QIC: Bonsai

Date: 12/18/2020

PAX: Sidekick, mothballs, sex wax, bandwagon, mayhem, Escobar, Bernie, MIA, oui oui, Vaccine, Tatonka, AOL, Toe Tag, Toe Jelly, Clothespin

AO: Hacksaw


Some of the PAX commented that icicles were forming on their foreheads.  This fact was unconfirmed, however, recently every day has felt cold enough to reasonably complain about.  Low 20s, sky was clear and starry.


I’m not a big fan of SSHs so I kept the PAX active throughout the workout with a boxer shuffle between exercises.  Fists up, bouncing lightly on the balls of the feet.

20x Pogo Jumps – OYO as high as you can

10x Butt Kickers – OYO, both sides

10x Imperial Walkers – IC

30 sec Forward Fold – Silent Count

10x Side Stretches – IC

10x Arm Circles – IC, Forward and Backward

10x Jabs – IC, 2x Forward Punches, 1x Backward punch each count, then switched sides

10x Front Kicks – IC, both sides

The Thang

PAX counted off and were split into teams of Odds and Evens and told to group up on opposite sides of the flag pole.

Around the short track were 3 locations with different types of “presents”.  The three locations were Bricks, Weights (of various forms), and Coupons.  PAX were given a rundown of the rules of the game, the goal of which was to see which team could give the most “presents” to the other team.

When the music began PAX moseyed around the short track in a counterclockwise direction, picking up a present from one of the locations on the way and carrying it around the track back to their team’s location.  Once back at the flag pole they would perform one of the below series of exercises to correspond with the chosen present then gift the present to the other team by placing it on the other team’s side of the flag pole.  After presents were all claimed, mosey around the track then perform the series of exercises x2 to move the present to the other team.  Cut the mosey for the last 5 mins, much to Tatonka’s dismay. Continued until time was called.


  • Bricks
    • 5 Brickies (Burpees with Bricks)
    • 10 Nutcrackers (Starting with bricks above your head do a lunge, simultaneously bring the bricks together between your legs, then back above your head)
    • 15 SSH w/ Bricks Wonderbras w/ bricks held together
  • Weights (10lb weight plates, 8lb Duct Taped sand bags, Firewood of various weight)
    • 5 American Thors (Big Boi situp w/ a set of 4 American Hammers for each count)
    • 10 Squat Thrusts
    • 15 Tricep Extensions
  • Coupons
    • 5 Goblet Squats
    • 10 Derkins
    • 15 Curls for the Girls

After time was called PAX had a few mins left.  Spent some time stacking and organizing the presents then a couple ab exercises.

  • Alphabets (on your six, legs 6 inches off the ground, trace the alphabet in capital letters with your feet)
  • Freddy Mercury until time


QIC spoke on how as men we are responsible for remaining alert and preparing for the future, not in fear but in wisdom, recognizing that we can experience changes in our circumstances that we may never anticipate.  Referenced AoM article about alertness.  https://www.artofmanliness.com/articles/how-to-develop-the-situational-awareness-of-jason-bourne/

Through Chubby’s and a non-profit my wife has been working for I have met individuals who had good jobs, large homes, and great families but due to circumstances they never expected they face foreclosure, and an inability to pay utilities or feed their families.  Be it sickness, layoff, COVID, or separation we can’t always predict what the future brings but we can be generally prepared for a variety of storms by setting up sandbags in our lives.

Sandbags can be relationships, financial savings, family, paying off debt, mentors who can provide wisdom, new skills, anything that helps you to navigate and withstand adverse situations.  It is important to recognize and reinforce your sandbags consciously before the storms come.


What do you call ‘in cadence’ that is not 4 count?  1 count cadence?  Single count?  Regardless, QIC will work on how to end the count.  Inflection on a single number is hard.

“Even” team won, but there is an ongoing investigation into claims of cheating.  There are rumors some PAX traveled clockwise to grab a coupon and cut the mosey short.  Pending review.

Clothespin and Sidekick volleyed the 45lb ruck sack.  They seemed to get a bit of a high off of the increased weight, though some might say the ‘high’ came from the 8lb duct taped weights.  Let’s hope Clothespin never gets pulled over….

Decided last minute to cut the SSH w/ bricks due to them being a bit slick with ice.  Airborne bricks were deemed probable and though we will happily assist injured PAX to their car we prefer to avoid it best we can.

41 bricks, 18 coupons, 18 weights, 10 logs, a 45lb rucksack, and 8 duct taped bags of….hmmm.  I love playing with toys but maybe less is more sometimes.  Special thanks to those who helped pack it all up at the end.

Note for next time I want to use a whiteboard.  Dry erase markers freeze. You don’t want to be in a position where you have 16 men all referring to the same hastily written out half sheet of paper.

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