Pickled Reformation

QIC:  Prosciutto

Date: 09/12/2020

PAX: Afterbirth, Blue, Hambone, Laces Out, Milkman

AO: Reformation


Humidity was thicccly, like…. a milkshake from Bruster’s. A relatively quiet scene until the county cop, the sheriff and the signal mountain police showed up with lights on behind the church. I’m not sure what they could be doing at 5:30am, but, this time they weren’t worried about the men of F3. Maybe they were searching for a naked burrito. Didn’t have the heart to tell them he’s been MIA from Reformation since 1993.

Very little light and visibility. The crew, though smallish, was ready to do get along with what they had come to do and that’s where this story begins…


Mostly stretching, shoulder taps, slow tempo merkins and great conversation.

With muscles stretched, we set out for a merkin mile run interrupted with EMOM (10 monkey humpers). Mile loop back to the parking lot for the thang.

The Thang

A little spin on a familiar dora. This time, though, the exercise called was more of a routine; and each rep was more like a round. Fabulous.

Pair up – P1 run & burpee; P2 performs exercise/routine
Steroidal Dora
P1 out and back to a point 3 times. First time, 1 burpee, second, 2 burpees, third time, 3 burpees
P2 performs the following until the team collectively reaches the total reps.

R1: Worst Merkins Ever x 100 50
R2: Jump Squats x 100
R3: 4×4’s x 100 50

That was enough of that trash. What was I thinking!?

So then we moved onto playing a little game from childhood; Pickle!

Afterbirth had to remind me that it was a team game, not a two-on-one. Once that got fixed, it was game on!

Rules were pretty simple. If the defensive side lost, they did (what else?) pickle pounders – otherwise the runner did the pounding pickle. (Note: Penalties began as burpees, but that was veto’d after a few rounds as that was nonsensical.)


Just started the journey through the word this past week with the journal from Laces Out. I’ve not spent much time reading chunks of scripture in linear fashion. So, it’s a wonderful exercise and a test to do it as a daily task. A recent passage was from Matthew 3: 1-12.

In these verses, John the Baptist is introduced and he’s quoting a verse from Isaiah 40; “Prepare the way for the Lord, make straight paths for him.” The verses go on to illustrate a picture of John baptizing droves of people from Jerusalem and Judea; lands near and far. Some such folks were the Pharisees and Sadducees (the two major religious groups in Israel at the time of Christ). Strangely enough, each of these two groups strongly opposed Jesus.

John exhorted the people not to just hypocritically repent because the promise and proximity of the Kingdom of Heaven, but rather to repent with one’s whole self – mind, body and spirit. John’s way of preaching was not just of one delivering the law of God, but also too, he lived that way as well. Pretty simple takeaway; ‘Practice what you preach’

It’s too easy to say something or do something and follow through by going through the motions. It’s another to do so with investment of that thought and action.

TL;DR – Explained delicately from my youthful hood-life: “If you don’t come strong, don’t come at all.”


It was great to have guys from off the mountain (Blue and Milkman) to help draw down Reformation. So long, Reformation, it was a good ride.

Which begs the question… What happens after Reformation? ReReformation?! …No… duh! Convoy…. What a very interesting story; NOT! In a weird pickle with this AO naming business.


Reformation has expired. Convoy starts up at SMMHS @ 05:30am on Monday, 09/14. Go Get sum!!!

Prayers for Laces Out’s daughter, Hambone’s mother and all those suffering from Iron Pax injuries/soreness.

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    #1000Reps at #Reformation

    QIC:  Recycle

    Date: 7/25/2020

    PAX: Hambone (RESPECT), Pound Dog, Dundee, NordicTrack, White Lightning

    AO: Reformation


    A nice 69 degrees and 98% humidity


    SSH x15 IC
    FF x10 IC
    TGE x10 IC
    WMH x10 IC
    TS x10 IC
    LBAC x10 IC
    Rev x10 IC
    SSH x15 IC

    The Thang

    1,000 Reps

    10 sets of:

    Curls for the girls x20
    Monkey humpers x20
    Overhead press x20
    Big boi situps x20
    Tricep extensions x20
    Mosey around the parking lot


    Start with 10 merkins —> 1 toe merkin

    Finish with 1 merkin —> 10 toe merkins


    Flutter kicks x20 IC
    Pickle pointers x20 IC
    LBCs x20 IC
    Hello dollys x20 IC



    We are approaching the beginning of school (in some capacity) and that is sure to add additional stress on our families along with everything else going on around the country. The QIC reminded the PAX to take advantage of our healthy outlets of stress relief so we can continue to be great husbands, fathers, friends, mentors and leaders.


    Playlist: Pearl Jam, Outkast, Bush, Modest Mouse, Nirvana, Tantric, Jane’s Addiction, Silverchair, The Black Crowes


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      That time Natty Light got Ben Peppers to come to F3

      QIC:  Fissure

      Date: 07/11/2020

      PAX: Recycle, Hambone, Blue, Pound Dog, Natty Light, FNG-Honeymoon, FNG-Pratt, FNG-Slick Willie

      AO: Reformation, The


      High 60s, mostly clear, humidity 82%, wind 4mph but sure didn’t feel like any


      Circled up leaving room for rona in upper lot with block at our feet

      SSH x 20 IC
      Fwd Fold x 10 IC
      Iraqi tea time x 10 IC
      WMH x 10 IC
      SSH x 15 IC
      Imperial Walkers x 10 IC
      Tea Pots both sides x 10 IC
      SSH x 10 IC

      Grabbed block
      Manmakers x 55 (10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 3)
      Left block in the upper lot

      Mosey’d down to the back, lower part of the church stopped at the portico

      The Thang

      Starting at the portico we faced cones 60 and 120 yards away
      1 burpee, run to 60 yard line, 11 big boi situps, run 60 more yards
      10 burpees, run back to 60 yard line, 11 V-ups, run 60 yards to the start for 2 burpees
      Rinse and repeat as the burpees ascend to 10 at the start each round and descend to 1 at the opposite end of the field.
      110 total burpees, 110 total big boi situps, 110 total v-ups

      Called it after 3 pax finished the 11’s and we returned to the upper lot for two rounds of suicides up and down the lot (15 yards/back, 20 yards/back, 45 yards/back, uphill x 2)

      Finished with two minutes of big boi situps


      To wear a mask or not to wear a mask is all the rage these days and you’ll see plenty of it on Facebook and other social media (gotta love it). This morning at (The?) Reformation seemed like another grand time to remember we don’t have to agree on anything to be kind to each other. This all goes out the window with Burrito, however, because no one likes to be kind to that guy.


      Natty Light achieved the impossible and got Ben Peppers to show up to a workout. He got named Pratt because he’s a home builder.


      F3 Dads has been cancelled on 7.25 at The Battery and The Landfill

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        Don’t Be Skerrd

        QIC: Prosciutto

        Date: 06/27/2020

        PAX: Blue, Bumblebee, Burrito, Gusher, Pound Dog, Recycle

        AO: Reformation


        66 degrees and time was on our side


        Warm up lap around the Reformed Presybterian Church
        *Note: Instead of rep counts, we just let Burrito talk and talk. Between the endless banter, there were slight pauses. That signified a change in exercise. The man has a gift like I have never seen. He also has embraced it. His dolphin has met his daffodil. (#D2X)

        William Mayferrington Hayesworth, III’s
        Right leg over Left stretch
        Left leg over Right stretch
        Baby Arm Circles Fwd/Bkwd
        Baby Ray Lewis’ (noone died)
        Each man grabbed two blocks (for themselves), and we walked down the hill of gratitude. Cones were lined up along the road.

        Stopped at each cone:
        20 Shrugs

        Once we arrived at the bottom it was time for the first part of the “Thang”.

        The Thang

        Parter up in 3’s and AMRAP with accountable planking partners
        For one minute:
        1 Pax performs Merkins as many times as possible in a minute; Accountability partner counts reps and planks for said minute. FLAPJACK

        1 Pax performs BBSU as many times as possible in a minute; Accountability partner counts reps and planks for said minute. FLAPJACK

        Derived from the GoRuck Jerome Gonzalez WOD, named after a Ruck Participant whom tragically died during the Joe Warner Bragg Heavy on February 17, 2018.

        The Setup:
        1) Partners split up, 1 group runs to bottom of the hill of gratitude, blocks remain at the first stop/cone; Other group walks to top of hill with blocks – this signifies the “end point”
        2) Group at bottom of hill runs to first cone performs 10 burpees. Grab blocks, farmer carry to 2nd cone for 10 burpees, farmer carry blocks to third cone for 10 more burpees
        4) Meanwhile, group at top of hill performs endless rounds of 10 Flutter Kicks, 10 Mercurial Freddie’s, 10 Little Baby Crunch’s
        5) When burpee/hill group arrives at top, switch

        2 Rounds was all the time we had for today

        1-Ten count

        Pax circle up; Should press/Overhead coupon holds and ascending reps around the circle. Stop at 5 reps

        Still in circle, Pax do 5 shrugs going around the circle, with 5 second hold at the top on final rep. 2 rounds.


        Randomly and anecdotally, I asked each of the pax their thoughts on the hill. Asking specifically, “do you like this hill?”, “Do you hate this hill?”, “What do you hate about it?”. Most agreed, the hill was no fun/difficult/sucked. To my surprise, one pax said, “I love it”… This guy gets it. Aye – Bumblebee! Typical Rucker attitude, ’embracing the suck’

        So I’ve learned, the things that we sometimes hate the most are the ones that give us the greatest challenge and reward. We likely see the negative before the positive.

        A few weeks back YHC was thrust into a new role at work. A surprise to me and I was not given much time to process it. Over the ensuing days, I wrestled with the new change. It would be more responsibility, longer hours, more time away from family, out of my comfort zone, etc.  Why these feelings of negativity, though? It was a great opportunity, right?

        I pondered and thought more on it. The reason it was not favorable (at the outset) to me was because it scared me, it was difficult, how would I succeed, what does success even look like? So many questions. But, alas, the root of the question and the issue was found.

        We see obstacles sometimes in fear. We see a hill and worry about the climb, fears creep in like – “can I run this thing?”….  “will it hurt?…” and then convincingly you tell yourself, “it will hurt”. “Will I slow the group down?”. No one wants that kind of negative accountability.

        The thought process is very consuming. But, flip the perspective, and the challenge becomes a gracious opportunity.

        The hill, even as a challenge, will make you better. Yes, it will make you hurt, but it will make you stronger. That new job/role at work, will stretch your limits and give you a chance to improve/accelerate in your career; offer you a chance to practice your leadership of others and give someone else a chance to be challenged and an opportunity at success. See the difference in the mentality? The perspective.

        A reward lies on the other side of every obstacle. Embrace the challenge.  How have you been challenged today, this week, this month? Think better of it. See the positive.


        • We’ve been over this, I’m an idiot. I entered the burpee total wrong (280) this morning and Gusher picks up my six – texts me and asks if I thought that was the right number of burpees (he knew it wasn’t; what a kind and graceful line of questioning). As I opined on his suggestion, I realize, yep, I was 210 burpees off. He then gives me this wonderful explanation of how we arrive at our number from this morning (this was not planned on my behalf).
          • So, each guy did 70 burpees. 7 PAX were there…. 70 x 7 = 490 burpees
          • He tells me that biblically:
            • ’70 x 7 has significance. The Lord said, that’s the number of times we ought to give one another.  Not limited to 490, however. We have a literary device to instruct us to forgive innumerably.’
            • ‘7 Pax. Seven is the number of perfection’
        • Gusher = High Impact; thank you brother
        • It’s fun to hear Recycle regale us of his tales in the Marines Army.  Ranger school and all…
        • 2 Blocks > 1 Block
        • The workout we did today was a memorial WOD – turns out Bumblebee was at the event! His account of the experience was incredible. Grateful to have heard that.
        • I asked the pax, “which is the densest muscle in your body?; hint: it’s a lower body extremity”.. their answer was equally not surprising and amusing. 


        July 4th Convergence at Battlefield / Also – Battlefield official Launch. Be there, or be squared

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          Runnin Down a Dream

          QIC:  GeekSquad

          Date: 06/13/2020

          PAX: Hambone, Hasbro; Pound Dog,

          Recycle And Afterbirth

          AO: The Reformation


          lower Humidity!!! Temps in upper 60s


          SSH x 20

          Abe be godas x 10

          Willie Mayes Hayes x 10

          Third Grade Exercises x 10

          SSH x 20

          Imperial Walkers x 10

          Cotton Eyed Joes x 10

          Butt Kickers x 15

          SSH x 10

          Seal Claps x 10

          Overhead Seal Claps x 10

          Michael Phelps x 10

          Moroccan Night Clubs x 10

          Forward Arm Circles x 10

          Reverse Arm circles x 10

          Mosey to bottom of Holy Hill and then run to top!

          The Thang

          (2 rounds) Indian Run format with an empty parking space in between as stations. Back person does 10 burpees and then runs to the front. While he is doing burpees rest of PaX does following:

          1 – squats

          2-  merkins

          3 – flutter kicks

          4-  monkey humpers

          5 – alt shoulder taps

          6 – Freddy Mercury’s

          7 – plank

          8 – lunges

          9 – LBCs

          10 -Peter Parker’s

          11 – reverse lunges

          12 – Rocky IVs

          13 – mountain climbers

          14 – Al Gores

          15 – pretzels

          16 – Supermans

          17 – big boys

          18 – wide merkins

          then take a lap around the church

          360 burpees completed by the 6 PAX.


          Marys to finish it out where we started.

          Heel touches x 16

          Pickle Pounders x 16

          Pickle Pointers x 16

          American Hammers till time ran out. X 4



          During this time in our world with COVID-19 and social injustice, I challenged the PAX to practicing the art of listening for understanding not just to respond. Best thing you can do right now is to be a good listener. Being a good listener shows others respect and helps them feel cared about and valued.

          The same is true in our relationship with Jesus. Psalm 46:10, instructs us to “Be still and know that I am God.”  Be still and listen to God for understanding!


          2.0 Day interest?

          July 4th Convergence – Sat July 4th 0700 @ Battlefield

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            Holy Hill, Its Been 3 Years!

            I’m QIC:  Mr. Clean

            Date: 06/06/2020

            PAX: Bumblebee, Dundee, Friar Tuck, Hambone, Mr. Met, Pound Dog, Prosciutto, Pumpkin, Snow Patrol

            AO: The Reformation


            Humid, Southern, June, Saturday.


            SSH x30 IC

            Shoulder Blaster

            5 Burpess OYO

            The Thang

            Pax partnered up. One ran to top of Holy Hill. Did a burpee. Partner did AMRAP until parter returned. Pax changed exercises in station when song changed. Second song changed, Pax moved to next station.
            Pain Station Routine

            Bent Over Rows


            Upright Rows


            Alternating Shoulder Taps

            Michael Phelps

            Rocky IVs

            Shoulder Press

            Big Boy Sit-ups


            Pax completed Thunderstruck Routine. Pax held block and completed Bent Over Row each time Thunderstruck was said. Halfway through song: Incline Merkin on Block. Completed rep every time “Thunderstruck” was said.


            Robert Jean 37 Whittler — the first HIM to pass along the Gold Glove. Finds time to talk despite his schedule.

            Derek Beaty 39 Pumpkin — Brother in law. Spent a 2.5 hour car ride talking about how miserable but fun F3 was. Talked over and over about how; no matter your level, no man is EVER left behind. Guys always encourage. He’s NEVER left me behind.

            Nick LaPorta 37 Prosciutto — Just a couple a months after I began, standing in the Bojangles parking lot, for Coffeeteria, Pro looked at me and said, “dude you can Q.” He encouraged me. He motivated me to step outside my comfort zone. Forever grateful.

            Nick Spinelli 35 — A segment of “This N That”, a GoRuck Tough, 2 Fallen Fives (helped plan both), and countless shared posts.

            Drew Rimback 43 Geek Squad — Shield Lock, EHed 12/26, posted on 12//27. Helped my son catch his first fish. Countless pre-rucks/runs. Talks. Prayers.

            Austen Caine Ohms — Our history with running, The Griff (RIP), and the Lions Den is extensive you say the least.

            Steve Medlin 44 Dundee — Always have a special place in my heart for many reasons. The most of all: seeing him come back AND embrace the Gloom.

            Russ Pate 32 Angus — Nantan when I came, BUT most of all…a TRUE friend. Designed the Fallen Five patches.

            Mike Holtzhower 36 Ducktales — Shield Lock. Shared his first post together. Countless Rucks together. Countless posts together. Countless talks/check-ins. Told me “like it was” when I needed it most, it just took time for me to realize it

            Eric Collins 33 Ringwald — Let my son “drive” a Jeep for the first time after a Cam Run. Motivator. Encourager.

            Marco Lagunas Steam Engine — simply put. He’s my assistant wrestling coach. The ONLY F3 HIM to ever do that.

            Chase Wright 33 Picasso — surprised me with a Rucker, all accessories, and plate…simply to be a good friend. Shared my first CO-Q. “it was a nice little Saturday”

            Countless more men have inspired and motivated me. As I searched my memory bank, these men had incidents in the past 3 years that profoundly affected me.

            Naming these men specifically doesn’t take away from the others, but simply reminds us the effect we CAN have on others AND they never know it.

            Finally, YHC had an additional lesson for the COT, but Pound Dog changed that for me:

            He said, “yeah, I’ve not gotten all the nomenclature down yet, but I do know what HC is, and that’s what’s important, right?”

            No better way to say. We must make it mean something, myself included, in all aspects of life!


            Doing one burpee seems weird — Prosciutto


            3rd F — Contact John Doe or 3rd F Slack Channel

            Parliament (Ooltewah High) — Launch Process

            Hixson AO — Launch Process

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              A Little “B” Sting w/ some Old Swing

              QIC:  John Doe

              Date: 5/30/2020

              PAX: Snow Patrol, Ashley Madison, Afterbirth, Gusher, Burrito, Hambone, Prosciutto, Bumble Bee

              AO: The Reformation


              Beautiful late spring morning, not a cloud in the sky. Full of sunshine


              Mosey down the bump and back up the bump to the lower parking lot; SSH – 25 (IC); Forward Fold – 10 (IC); Third Grade Exercise – 10 (IC); Willie Mays Hays – 10 (IC); LBAC – 10 (IC); Rev LBAC – 10 (IC); SSH – 20 (IC)

              The Thang

              Mixed in some IP work along with some of the QIC old favorites

              B Sting (Modified Killer B’s)

              Broad Jump 10 yards, 10 burpees, 10 Bonnie Blairs (count right leg), 10 BigBoi Sit-ups

              Broad Jump 10 yards, 10 burpees, 10 Bonnie Blairs (count right leg), 10 BigBoi Sit-ups

              Broad Jump 10 yards, 10 burpees, 10 Bonnie Blairs (count right leg), 10 BigBoi Sit-ups

              *Bearcrawl 30 yards back to “starting line”

              (Continued until each PAX member did at least 3 rounds)

              Dive Bombing Aquaman

              Regular Merkin – 3 sets (15, 10, 5) with 30 yd run there and back in between each set (plank when waiting on the 6)

              Diamond Merkin – 3 sets (15, 10, 5) with 30 yd run there and back in between each set (Al-Gore when waiting on the 6)

              Wide Merkin – 3 sets (15, 10, 5) with 30 yd run there and back in between each set (Al-Gore when waiting on the 6)

              PARTNER UP

              100 Dive Bombers ( P1 does 10 while P2 Air Squats; switch and rinse and repeat)

              100 Aquamans (P1 does 10 while P2 Bonnie Blairs; switch and rinse and repeat)

              100 Jane Fonda’s (P1 does 10 while P2 Flutter Kicks; switch and rinse and repeat)

              *Cut Jane Fondas short for time. Only did 2 rounds

              **Each member continues the second exercise until the 6 is in

              THE CLOSE:

              Bring Sally Up/Bring Sally Down – Mosey back to the upper parking lot for Nameroma and COT


              QIC took a piece out of Ravi Zacharius book; Four Absolutes: Evil, Justice, Love, Forgiveness. Universe/University – Unity & Diversity. You will never have unity and diversity on the outside until you have unity and diversity on the inside. It starts with us internally before we can grow and help externally.

              What does it mean to be human? Creation – we are not here by accident. We are here by Divine Purpose & Divine Pattern. You have an intrinsic worth. What belongs to God? Who’s image is on you?

              QIC told a story of a care accident with several people involved. Parents lost children and there was on survivor. This survivor was badly injured with reconstructed face. Her identity was mixed up another student and no knew until she came out of a coma 4 months later. Her parents had thought they lost her, and buried her. Only it was the other student they buried. Meanwhile, the other parents thought their daughter was alive only to find out she was buried 4 months prior.

              You see, there is a particular value to you. Your name is given by those who brought you to being. You can alwasy replace a worker, but you can never replace a person. All persons are unique and distinct. Don’t let anyone minimize who you are as a singular individual. Don’t try to be someone you’re not.

              God’s image is on you in a general sense. God’s unique gifting is in you on a particular sense. You were created intentionally for a divine design

              BALL OF MAN: QIC closed us out in prayer


              The workout truly reformed us today. Burrito doesn’t seem to talk as much as he use to, or maybe we’re just use to it. Everything truly is better with bacon. Pro has one of the best STFU stares. Personally, I went home and started practicing mine. Truly inspirational. Ashley Madison could be a real contender for IP 2020. Be on the look out for this up and comer


              3rd-F is back – Chubby’s BBQ every Tuesday at 6pm (need help in mid-late June

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                The 1000 Reps of The Reformation

                QIC:  Oil Can

                Date: 05/23/2020

                PAX: Burrito, Recycle, Afterbirth, Hambone, Snow Cream, Mr. Met, Prosciutto, Dundee, Gusher, Geek Squad

                AO: The Reformation


                Slightly overcast morning but pretty cool. Damp ground after some rain the previous night.


                10 Forward Fold, 12 Willie Mays Hays, 10 Windmills, 10 Little Baby Arm Circles & Reverse, 10 Rocking Night Club & 10 Cherry Pickers – all IC

                The Thang

                Exercises were spread around the parking lot & PAX worked around the circle
                50 Plank Jacks
                50 Overhead Presses
                50 LBCs
                50 Side Squats (add a little skip in between each for some extra cardio)
                50 Flutter Kicks
                54 SSHs
                48 Lunges
                48 Crab Cakes
                50 Mountain Climbers
                50 Pickle Pointers

                Short mosey of ~10 yards to church door & back after completing sets of five exercises. Two full laps of the parking lot completed for 1000 total reps. Pax did Mary until six was in.

                Mosey lap around the church parking lot for a short rest, then straight into Wheel of Merkin – 15 single-count Decline Merkins, rotate 90 degrees to have one hand & one foot on curb, then 15 additional single-count merkins, rotate 90 degrees for 15 Incline Merkins, then rotate 90 degrees once again and do 15 merkins to complete the rotation.

                11’s of Squats & LBCs to finish off.


                Spoke about how much it’s ingrained into the American culture to respect those men & women who serve our nation in the military. Many men & women are scattered across the country and even more across the world this Memorial Day weekend, away from their families. These soldiers are defending our nation, but are unable to help loved ones who may be struggling with COVID-19, the Easter Sunday tornadoes or other occurrences in their lives. Important to thank those active & retired military for their service.


                Before doing the Name-O-Rama, Burrito suggested that everyone do it in an Australian accent. PAX’s “Australian” accents turned out to sound more British than Australian.


                ‘The Burph’ convergence coming up on Monday, 0700 at the Chickamauga Dam day use area.

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