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Burrito Almost Q’d at Hacksaw… ALMOST

QIC:  Me/Someguy

Date: 03/06/2020

PAX: A bunch of Rough and Rowdy Men

AO: Hacksaw

Conditions

Beautiful. Arrived with the hope of smelling freshly melted queso and salsa, but soon realized all I was going to smell was the broccoli I had last night for dinner.

COP

After waiting forever for our fearless leader to arrive, it was 5:30 A.M. and we were leaderless. Sensing the restlessness of the PAX, I took the reins. I presented two options: 1) AMRAP of eating tacos for 45 minutes OR 2) start a workout and lead these men to the promised land they so deserved. The PAX quickly reminded me that it wasn’t Tuesday, so Tacos were out of the question.

The Thang

Moseyed to the front of the library parking lot and called the first exercise. That’s right, the ole faithful Side Straddle Hop.

Commanding the men LOUDLY (in case there were other men near our vicinity that could hear us and decide to join us):

“NEXT EXERCISE, SIDE STRADDLE HOP” (“side straddle hop” echoed by the PAX)

“STARTING POSITION, MOVE”

“IN CADENCE” (“in cadence” echoed)

“EXERCISE!”

Made it through 10 reps before we were interrupted by someguy who reeked of moldy cheese and week old refried beans. He was insistent (maybe downright rude) on leading as Q for the rest of the workout. With the title of my favorite book in back of my mind (Freed to Lead), I obliged and stepped aside.

I pretty much blacked out after that, but I do remember a lot of grabbing my six, holding hands, and eating Little Debbie snack cakes (#1 AO for a reason, even if we don’t have a hill)

COT

Always trust your instinct. If you are having dinner at your favorite Mexican restaurant and the server brings you a burrito (when you clearly ordered the chimichangas), don’t send it back. Simply get up and leave without saying a word. I promise, you will be better off. And besides, you are probably already full from 3 bowls of free chips and salsa.

Moleskin

Either from his lack of driving (surely he has a chauffeur) or lack of understanding how to approach a red light (I’m told Signal Mountain only has 1), Burrito decided to stop in the middle of the intersection.

After mispronouncing the name of the girl at Chick-fil-A who politely asked if she could take his order, Burrito responded with “I’m not sure what I want to order, because I don’t know what you have.” NEWSFLASH: Chick-fil-A serves… chicken. I guess when you live on the second tallest mountain above the clouds, you’re too high to see what us lowland folk eat.

I was told DNF was the heartthrob of Signal Mountain Middle School. My response was the obvious, “He’s the heartthrob of Hacksaw.”

News

Nah.

WuzntMe: “Covid-19 can be sung at the same cadence and tune as Come on Eileen.”

Truly one of the smartest men I know.

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    1,135 Burpees and We Didn’t Even Notice

    QIC:  Skitch

    Date: 3/5/2020

    PAX: Kowbell, Fissure, Uncle Fester, Doghouse, Chum, Back Pew, Lassie, Jaywalk, Goose

    AO: Hill City

    Conditions

    The night before there was a 65% of rain. When we awoke there was a 0% chance of rain. The second forecast was correct. 3 layers was too much.

    COP

    SSH x 40 IC, Forward Fold x 10 IC, Imperial Walkers x 15 IC, Willie Mays Hays x 10 IC, 5 burpees, 5 aquamen, 5 squats.

    Hiding the Burpees

    We moseyed to the big circle.
    ABS, SBA, BAS, BSA, ASB, SAB

    In 2 groups of 5, we worked our way around the big circle, sidewalk square by square. On each sidewalk square, a PAX did 5 Aquamen, 5 Squats, and/or 5 Burpees. You could do all 3 on one square or just one, but the square wasn’t complete until PAX jointly completed ABS, SBA, BAS, BSA, ASB, or SAB in chalk on the square indicating all the exercises had been completed. We completed the small circle on the stage as well. Mosey to the alley where 1’s wall sat while 2’s did 10 burpees; swap; rinse and repeat; rinse and repeat. Mosey back to parking lot for 10 more burpees, some low planks, and some big boy situps. Time.

    COT

    Ephesians 4:15-16 “Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.” Whether it’s the 1 Million Burpee Challenge or giving an encouraging word, we daily have a small part to play to build up the body.

    BOM

    Moleskin

    It didn’t feel like 1,000+ burpees. Really.

    News

    Socks for 3rd F.

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      Tour de Elmo with Burpees

      QIC:  Skitch

      Date: 02/21/2020

      PAX: Candu, Pebbles

      AO: Boneyard

      Conditions

      I don’t think it was raining. But there was snow and ice on Lookout thereby trapping the mountain regulars from attending the beat down.

      COP

      Normal warm up exercises.

      The Thang

      We traveled.
      Tour de Elmo with Burpees

      We moseyed, lunged, and bear crawled to the Food City parking lot, out the entrance, around the backside of 1885 and to Clumpies. In between we did burpees, merkins, and wall sits. At Clumpies we did dips and incline merkins near the incline. On the way back with went up steps and on our hands and feet, shuffled a top the board walk. We did more burpees and lunges.

      COT

      Be faithful in the few things we control and trust God with all the things we do not. As I get older, the less I know (justified, true belief), but faith can fill the gap.
      BALL OF MAN.

      Moleskin

      Skitch gave the 1-minute warning to himself and the flag and thought he might start the workout alone. But he didn’t. We did 300 burpees. There was no snow or ice in the valley.

      News

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        To the Bridge! Everyone’s Doing It!!

        QIC:  Mr. Clean

        Date: 03/05/2020

        PAX: Band Camp, Ducktales, Geek Squad, Hasbro, Milkman, She Shed, Threeskin, U-Turn

        AO: The Huey

        Conditions

        “A really cold and wet 48” — She Shed

        COP

        Capri Lap

        The Thang

        YHC was asked if Dora was making an appearance. Maybe later. For now, we take two steps forward and one step back.
        Two Steps Forward and One Step Back
        Mosey two light pole forward — Complete 1 Squat
        Mosey one light pole backward — Complete 1 Burpee
        Rinse and Repeat. Increase Reps by One each time.

        Dora, Stations, Peanuts Exercise…(Nobody really ever knew, including the Q)
        At the Tuff Muff, Peanuts did this really cool routine in which each set of partners completed a Dora, those partners completed a minimum set reps, once the minimum was completed, the exercises continued until the Six completed their hundred.
        YHC tried his hand at this and well, two steps forward and one step back.

        –Merkins
        –Front Raises
        –Shoulder Presses
        –Curls
        –Dips
        The goal here: allow the Pax to choose the exercise (alleviated the issue of too few coupons and adding the opportunity to “modify upward”). Unfortunately, with multiple exercises going, it became very confusing as to when the Six was in. Audible.

        Dolly. 100 Reps (minimum) until Six arrived.

        Everyone’s Doing It!
        We completed suicide burpees until time.

        COT

        Before the COT began, we took a moment of silence for those affected by the tornadoes.

        In life, we get opportunities. Sometime that opportunity is to take two steps forward only to move a step backward. It’s ok. In the end, you still gained ground. Therefore, we have two choices: (1) focus on the step backward, or (2) focus on the fact WE. GAINED. GROUND. This morning, YHC had this happen during the Q. In the end, YHC focused on the hilarious nature of the Mumblechatter (see title), and frankly, in the end, HIM of F3 Chattanooga got a solid workout. Are you gaining ground or dwelling on the step backward? Are you taking care of yourself to take care of others?

        Moleskin

        JUMP OFF THE BRIDGE! EVERYONE’S DOING IT! — Threeskin featuring the artist known as Ducktales
        I knew Dora would be here at some point — multiple Paxers
        So, some guys are going to do like 300 and run 4 miles? Yes that’s correct Threeskin! TO THE BRIDGE!

        News

        Zack Attack Obstacle Course Race — See Ducktales
        Planning stages of 3rd Annual Fallen Five Memorial Event.
        https://f3chattanooga.wpcomstaging.com/schedule-locations/fallen-five/

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          Hacksaw Has No Hills; Therefore Terrible

          QIC:  WuzntMe

          Date: 3/4/2020

          PAX: Mayhem, Escobar, Meow Mix, Snow Patrol, John Doe, Jazzy Jag, Bernie, Fastlane, Vaccine, Clothespin

          AO: Hacksaw (Without Hills)

          Conditions

          Clear. Smooth like an ironing board.

          COP

          Mosey to the sheriff’s lot.

          20 SSH
          15 mountain climbers
          10 Teapots
          Downward Dog
          Upward Dog
          Third Grades

          The Thang

          Run to the not a hill .

          Since this isn’t a hill, it should be easy to Bearcrawl Boilermaker to the not a top.

          Once reaching the end of the street, which is somehow taller and at a significantly higher elevation than the rest of the vast plains of Hacksaw, indian run around the church.

          Go back down to the bottom of the hill.
          Partner up. One person bernies to the top. Other person does 5 BBS, 10 flutters, 15 mercuries, and 20 LBCs. Sprints to catch his partner up hill. Loser does 10 burpees, winner does LBCs until burpees finished. Swap chaser/pursuer, and do it again.

          COT

          There is no hill. Whatever obstacle you have, the bigger deal you make it, the more likely you are to lose. Don’t focus on the size of the problem, just conquer it.

          Moleskin

          John Doe is unimpressed with my mountain climbers.
          Pax really enjoyed the flat, boring, Kansas-like terrain of Hacksaw.

          News

          We need to support Battery with Qs and Pax for their impending Thursday launch. JD needs help with 3rd F.

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            The Chase is Better Than the Catch

            QIC:  WuzntMe

            Date: 03/02/2020

            PAX: Sidekick, Fastlane, Peanuts, Chavez, Lanyard, Swisher, Swingset, Best in Show, Mayhem, Sparky, Home Alone

            AO: Beast Ridge

            Conditions

            Raining.

            COP

            Mosey to the long lot, before Fastlane’s love shack.

            20 SSH
            Downward Dog
            15 SSH
            Upward Dog
            10 SSH
            World’s Greatest Stretch
            5 burpees

            The Thang

            In Slack, I had mentioned that this was going to be a Motorhead Monday. So, in keeping with that theme, we started with Bomber.
            11s, featuring Dive Bombers and Dips.

            Count off by twos
            Continuing on our theme, The Chase is Better Than the Catch

            Pax 1: 5 BBS, 10 flutter kicks, 15 Mercuries, 20 LBCs
            Pax 2: Bernie across the lot, until they reach the end.
            Pax 1 completes exercise, then chases after Pax 2. If Pax 2 can get to the end before Pax 1 tags them they win. Else, they lose. Loser does 10 burpees, while winner does LBCs until burpees completed.
            Rinse and repeat x4

            COT

            Lemmy is right. The Chase is Better Than the Catch. In life, we get so consumed with completing something, that we often lose interest after we catch it. We do this in work, with our marriages, and with our children. I challenge the PAX to enjoy the process, to enjoy the pursuit, but to not *stop* pursuing. Pursue your wives. Pursue being a better father. Pursue being a better employee. Pursue something you can never quite catch, and never get complacent.

            Moleskin

            My bluetooth speaker sucks. Motorhead wasn’t nearly loud enough for all to enjoy.

            News

            – 3rd F – Tomorrow / Meet at Chubby’s BBQ at 5:30PM. Serve until 8ish.
            – check Announcements channel

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              We Voted Today

              QIC:  Prosciutto and Burrito

              Date: 03/03/2020

              PAX: Burrito, Ducktales, Friar Tuck (Respect), Gusher, Holy Kiss

              AO: Smackdown

              Conditions

              mid-50’s and humid; rain held off so that we could do our cultish things

              Substi-Q this morning because our HIM Q had to tend to trauma at the hospital; Burrito and Prosciutto at the helm

              COP

              Burrito handled the warm-up in Whittler’s absence

              Ankle/knee-poppers (Willie Mays Hays)
              Cult Straddle Hops
              Cultish Night Clubs (Moroccan)
              Cult-Classic Ray Lewis
              Cult Fold (Forward)
              Cult Following – Easy lap around the quarter-mile track (which is almost a quarter mile; almost)

              The Thang

              In honour of Super Tuesday, the Pax were given a choice (nay, a ‘vote’) on option 1 or option 2. Adhering to democratic ways, all ballots were placed by show of hands for transparency’s sake … no paper ballots or re-counts necessary… As they say, “Democracy Rules”

              Democratic Burpicide
              Two end points set **roughly ~23 Yards apart; Dora with partners
              Pax A performs called exercise while….
              Pax B runs to the end point, Performs 1 burpee, back to start, Run to end point, 2 Burpees, back to start and run to end point once more for 3 burpees
              -Flapjack-
              100 – Merkins
              200 – LBC
              300 – Squats
              400 – SSH

              “The establishment of universal male suffrage in France in 1848 was an important milestone in the history of democracy. “
              Thank you France
              The Pax were spent from the Democratic Burpicide. As we made our way moseying to the bleachers from the track, we had to have 3 10-counts. So, we had to make up for it. Because Democracy.
              French Dips x 5 / man IC x 2 rounds
              Raccoon walk down and back
              Toe Merkins x 10 or 12 (?) IC
              French Dips x 5 / man IC x 1 round

              _1.25 Minutes of Mary_

              COT

              Scott Simmons provided a nice summary of his time spent reading Exodus to his daughters.

              Mental Health Awareness day coming up March 27th. Be a shining light, a positive example and a pillar of suport to another man (Shield Lock); you may or may not know what they’re dealing with – you might be their only saving grace.

              Moleskin

              • Ducktales met YHC at home to catch a ride to startex from his 4:30am Ruck. This was unplanned. Was he waiting on me? Was he spying? Was he fertilizing my yard? My neighbors yard? Yes. to all these things.
              • When you make your own cd’s, they’re like moments frozen in time that pay dividends at a later time; Thank you “Rap 2” and Jay-Z
              • David Copperfield apparently used Burrito in his performance once. Even he could not make him disappear.
              • Speaking of Las Vegas, there are naked women there.
              • **Ask Friar Tuck about the distance between two points. It’s likely he’s pretty spot-on with distance, wind speed/direction and barometric pressure. And he’ll aim at you if you bad mouth Ole Miss.
              • We need to give Raccoons more respect than they get for the way they walk.

              News

              It’s raining cats and dogs.

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                Clothespin’s Rainy Core Day

                QIC:  Clothespin

                Date: 03/03/2020

                PAX: Mrs Baker, Deep Dish, ElChapo

                AO: The Battery

                Conditions

                Wet thunder off in the distance

                Mother nature played games with my plans this morning and didn’t send the rain.

                COP

                • Mosey around Greenway to Parking Area
                • Third Grade Exercise 15 in cadence
                • SSH 20 in cadence
                • Willy Mayse Hayse 14 in cadence
                • Little baby Arm circles forward (thumb up) 15 in cadence
                • Little baby Arm circles reverse (thumb down) 15 in cadence
                • Cherry Pickers 15 in cadence
                • Moroccan Night Club
                • Seal claps 10 in cadence

                The Thang

                30 seconds each exercise more of a core emphasis.:
                • Imperial Walkers
                • HI Plank
                • Burpees
                • Side Plank
                • Slow Squats
                • Other side Plank
                • LBC
                • Low Plank
                • High Knees
                • Hold Crab walk position (hip Bridge)
                • Merkins
                • 10 Count
                • Curls
                • HI Plank
                • Burpees
                • Side Plank
                • Overhead Press
                • Other side Plank
                • Big Boy Sit-ups
                • Low Plank
                • Dips
                • Hold Crab walk position (hip Bridge)
                • Triceps Extensions
                • 10 Count
                • Take a lap
                We went through each exercise three times before the stretch

                Stretch:
                Forward Fold
                Downward Dog
                Upward Dog

                COT


                [The “COT” aka the “CIRCLE OF TRUST” is the terminating stage of each Workout, wherein the PAX form a circle and conduct Counterama, Namerama, Announcearama and the Ball Of Man.
                BALL OF MAN: Congregation of two or more men in physical contact, usually (but not exclusively) in the prayer that terminates the COT. Abbr: BOM]

                News

                [Fill in News, Upcoming Q’s, Events, etc.]

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                  Slippin’ and a Slidin’

                  Date: 03/03/2020

                  PAX: The Count, She Shed, Skitch, Back Pew, Sunshine, Pink Panther, Hobo, Ramos, Cow Bell, Early Bird, Red Tees, Free Time

                  AO: Hill City

                  QIC: Goose

                  Conditions: Wet


                  COP

                  SSH x 20

                  Fwd Fold x OYO

                  Willie Mays Hays x 20

                  Quad Stetch each leg OYO

                  Cherry Pickers x 20

                  Moroccan Night Club x20

                  SSH x20


                  The Thang

                  Adora: Mosey to end of light poles and back while partner does: 200 merkins, 200 squats, 200 LBCs

                  Mosey to field by blue rhino, and lunge to sidewalk and back

                  Start at Blue Rhino, mosey to Frazier ave, 25 merkins or squats at every light pole.


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                  Hair of the Merkin Dog that bit you!

                  QIC:  Clothespin

                  Date: 02/29/2020

                  PAX: DeepDish, Mrs Baker(R), 9Volt(R), Shotput, Bubbles(R), Snow Patrol, Mayhem(R), ElChapo(R), Schnitzel(R)

                  AO: The Battery

                  Conditions

                  Cool, Sunny with a hint of dog squeeze in the air!!

                  COP

                  Run partially around the big circle the opposite direction as usual
                  SSH- 25 IC
                  Willy Mayse Hayse – 12 IC
                  SSH- 20 IC
                  Forward Fold- 15 IC
                  SSH- 15 IC faster pace
                  Abe Bagota- 10 IC
                  SSH- 20 IC
                  Baby Arm Circles- 12 IC forward
                  Baby Arm Circles- 12 IC backward
                  Moraccan Night Club 15 IC
                  Overhead Seal Claps 10 IC
                  Mosey around to first station

                  The Thang

                  The expression the hair of the dog, for an alcoholic drink (or in this case Merkins) taken to cure a hangover, is a shortening of ‘a hair of the dog that bit you’. It comes from an old belief that someone bitten by a rabid dog could be cured of rabies by taking a potion containing some of the dog’s hair. The correlation suggests that, although alcohol may be to blame for the hangover (as the dog is for the attack), a smaller portion of the same will, paradoxically, act as a cure. There is, it should be added, no scientific evidence that the cure for either a hangover or rabies actually works.


                  Six stations set up around loop that goes around the big dog park and the skate park. Mode of transportation between the stations was running, on the east end was bernie and the west end was karaoke! I cut the number by 5 on the third and fourth loops.
                  Station 1- 25 merkins (first loop)
                  15 Diamond Merkins (second loop)
                  Station 2- 15 Aquamans (first loop)
                  15 Divebombers (second loop)
                  Station 3- 25 SSH IC (first loop)
                  50 Imperial Walkers (second loop)
                  Station 4- 12 Burpees (first loop)
                  Up-Downs (second loop)
                  Station 5- 25 squats (first loop)
                  20 lunges (second loop)
                  Station 6- 15 Carolina Drydocks
                  30 100’s IC
                  We went three and a half loops then moseyed to the pavilion for a little change of pace. Under the pavilion we did:
                  15 Dips IC
                  20 Step ups OYO
                  30 LBC IC
                  Grabbed a rock and did:
                  15 curls IC
                  15 overhead presses OYO
                  We moseyed back out to the parking lot for some Bataan Death March we went two loops around the same circle where the stations were set-up. Made sure everyone got to do burpees twice. We then finished our fourth loop around the stations and went back to the pavilion for some more Mary.
                  15 Big boy sit-ups
                  10 dying cock roach
                  10 Oblique crunches each side
                  Moseyed back to flags for COT

                  COT

                  It is better to forgive and forget. Call up that persons that you may have had a disagreement with and work it out. Touch base with that family member you haven’t talked to in a while and work things out. Life is to short to waste it on petty crap!
                  [The “COT” aka the “CIRCLE OF TRUST” is the terminating stage of each Workout, wherein the PAX form a circle and conduct Counterama, Namerama, Announcearama and the Ball Of Man.
                  BALL OF MAN: Congregation of two or more men in physical contact, usually (but not exclusively) in the prayer that terminates the COT. Abbr: BOM]

                  Moleskin

                  “Lady what do you feed that dog!”– ElChapo

                  News

                  Clothespin on Q again Tuesday 3-3-2020

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