Only Fools Believe There Is a Hill at Hacksaw

QIC:  Full Moon

Date: 04/01/2022

PAX: Chief, Ditka, El Chapo (RESPECT), Landmine, Life Alert, M.I.A., Mayhem (RESPECT), Mr. Burns, Sousa, Toe Jelly, Toe Tag, Top ‘Em, Uncle Joe

AO: Hacksaw


Conditions

45 degrees or so – perfect weather for broga foolishness


COP

Met at the Commons; disclosure

SSH x26; forward fold, OYO; walk it out to downward dog, heels on the ground, then right over left, left over right; move to plank for world’s greatest okayest stretch – right, then left

Mosey from the Commons to the top of Mt. Hacksaw the Increased Gravity Zone


The Thang


A Ladder, of sorts

Upon completion of each rung/mosey, PAX were instructed to plank/have tea time to wait for six… mostly heavy breathing, cursing of YHC, and 10 counts ensued

Up the ladder we go
1st rung: 10 burpees, mosey to the bottom of Mt. Hacksaw the Increased Gravity Zone

2nd rung: 10 burpees, 20 squats, mosey to the top of Mt. Hacksaw the Increased Gravity Zone

3rd rung: 10 burpees, 20 squats, 30 big bois, mosey to the bottom

4th rung: 10 burpees, 20 squats, 30 big bois, 40 flutter kicks (hard count), mosey to the top

5th rung (top of the ladder): 10 burpees, 20 squats, 30 big bois, 40 flutter kicks (hard count), 50 heel touches (hard count), mosey to the bottom

Back down the ladder, yet up the Increased Gravity Zone
4th rung: 10 burpees, 20 squats, 30 big bois, 40 flutter kicks (hard count), mosey to the top

3rd rung: 10 burpees, 20 squats, 30 big bois, mosey to the bottom

2nd rung: 10 burpees, 20 squats, mosey back to the Commons

1st rung: 10 burpees Time


COT

Don’t just be in the moment, enjoy it – whether it be with family or friends, working out, at work, etc. Not all moments are enjoyable but find the good where you can, especially with loved ones, and enjoy it.


Moleskin

No one was fooled by YHC’s attempt at pranking the PAX into believing they were in for a relaxing broga set

“Full Moon: you realize we’re still running, right?”

Uncle Joe continues to insist heel touches are a partner exercise… YHC does not completely disagree, but for today they remained solo

Mr. Burns was excused to handle some very important paperwork… thankfully we have (for now) a Johnny-On-The-Spot nearby

Life Alert lamented, a lot, that we ran way more than YHC had led him to believe – this is debatable depending on one’s point of view, yet he may never come back to Hacksaw

“Stay away from me or I’m gonna hit you” – directed at YHC

“Hated it” – everyone


News

Sousa’s going away #2nd-f event tomorrow, 4/2 – see channel and/or Blue for info on how to sign up to throw axes at Sousa; Chubby’s; Habitat for Humanity dates now live on #3rd-f; upcoming 2.0 days (including Good Friday w/Mr. Burns at the Hack); Inaugural Battery PokerRunRuck For the Cure Brought to You by Mountain Dew on 4/23; Grow Ruck event upcoming – see Vila, Mayhem, or Ducktales

There IS a Core Down There

QIC:  M.I.A.

Date: 02/21/22

PAX: Full Moon, Ramrod (Respect), Tinder, Toe Tag

AO: Hacksaw


Conditions

It was a real beaut of a morning. About 40 and light wind.


COP

Mosey to the Veteran’s Park, followed by a lap around the outside of the park.

Forward Fold
Willie Mays Hayes
Lil’ Baby Arm Circles
Big Arm Circles

Enough of that


The Thang

5 Stations:
Flutter Kicks
Deadlift (60 lb. Sandbag)
Ab Roller (of Death)
Slam Ball American Hammers
Slam Ball Burpee Toss – Control

Each PAX at a station, completed exercise until the control station completed a circuit of throwing the slam ball approximately 25 yards (burpee before each toss) and back. Then PAX rotate.

After each complete rotation PAX completed an indigenous people’s run around the park (400m)


COT

There was a COT. If you were there you heard it.


Moleskin

There was a large amount of dislike of that ab roller.

YHC was filling in for a HIM that had to deal with some family issues, offered to two other PAX to take the Q, as both hemmed and hawed, YHC finally had to take the reigns. Those two PAX still moaned about it.

Toe Tag blames the ab roller (of death) for his probable hernia. YHC takes referral fees doc.


News

3rd F things, 1st F things…. we may need to plan some more 2nd F things.


Recent Backblasts

    Group Exercises do not imply Partner Exercises

    QIC: Full Moon

    Date: 01/28/2022

    PAX: AOL, Escobar, Mayhem, Ramrod, Seagull, Toe Tag, Tube Squeeze, Uncle Joe

    AO: Hacksaw


    Conditions

    Still cold, 35ish, but not as miserable as the other day


    COP

    SSH x25 IC, WMH x12 IC, Toe Merkins x25 OYO, Forward Fold x10 IC, LBAC x10 IC, RLBAC x10 IC, Tea Time OYO (not a partner exercise, despite Uncle Joe’s insistence it is)

    Mosey from the Flag to the Flag


    The Thang

    Friday fill-ins are fun (alliteration, amiright?) – will we do the same thing as Wednesday? Will it be something completely brand new and earth-shattering? Or, way more likely, will YHC shamelessly duplicate another workout (with some mods) from a recent post?

    For this routine, PAX were advised to focus on form and not worry about # of sets – some of them took this to mean they need only apply minimal effort, which was promptly struck down – underachieving does not equal solid, hard work (TWSS)

    The Workout that is much better with music, but no music was provided:
    13 of each:
    Merkins
    Air Lifters (somebody’s gotta raise this roof)
    Leg Lifts (Heels to Heaven, Kamala Harrises, et al.)
    BBS
    Plank Jacks
    Dips – these can be a partner exercise, should you need more resistance (and have a willing partner… TWSS)
    Squats
    Lunges

    Do 13 reps of each, take a lap on the inner loop, then do 12, then 11… down to 1 – be sure to take a lap after each set (this is a Full Moon Q, after all). Most PAX got through the set with 6 reps of the exercises, while the overachievers absolute units (cough, AOL, Mayhem, Toe Tag, cough) got through 5, maybe 4

    Time

    Birthday Burpees for Tube Squeeze!


    COT

    Patience and being present, especially with 2.0’s. YHC’s kiddos are amazing all the way around (no bias), but they sure know how to press buttons. Being patient and letting them work through feelings/outbursts/etc. is much easier, eventually, than exacerbating the situation by blowing up. Regarding being present: it’s all to easy at the end of a long day to just sit and peruse the ole phone (esp. on Friday’s with Pro’s Wordle commentary…) but, you know what’s way more fun? Cooking fake food and mixing fakes drinks with the 2.0’s for a fake party they are putting on later – cheers.

    Be patient. Be present. Be kind. Enjoy life and the people around you.


    Moleskin

    “I could certainly do without the laps” and “I’ve seen enough of you this week, Full Moon”


    News

    Chubby’s – we need to fill up Feb. schedule

    Multiple Habitat for Humanity opportunities available – see #3rd-f channel and Mayhem – these may be rescheduled based on response

    Tuff Muff coming up – see #convergence-csaup channel – gonna be fun/ridiculous

    4th Weekend – see channel and/or WuzntMe

    The U officially launches Monday, 1/31 – Mondays & Wednesdays 0530 at East Hamilton High


    Recent Backblasts

      Conscientious Objector

      QIC:  Mr. Clean

      Date: 01/21/2022

      PAX: Blair Witch, Choo Choo, Full Moon, Ramrod, Tube Squeeze 

      AO: Hacksawi


      Conditions

      Somewhere between — I can’t feel anything and 28 degrees. Giant “Ole Glory” was waving with glorious symmetry in the whipping winds. Desmond and the many others looked upon us as a reminder to always give “just one more”.


      COP

      SSH x20 IC
      Forward Fold OYO
      Willie Mays Hayes x12 IC
      SSH x10 IC


      The Thang

      Mosey to “The” Flag, and drop our blocks with Desmond to stand guard. From here, we started the Thang.

      Catch Me if You Can
      Grab a partner. Partner 1 completes 20 Plank Jacks.
      Partner 2 bear crawls.
      Partner 1 moseys to Partner 2.
      Flapjack it.
      Rinse and Repeat it until we arrive back to Desmond.
      Plank for the Six.

      Upper Body Dora
      Shoulder Presses — 200
      Curls — 200
      Bench Press — 200
      Bent Over Rows — 200
      Leg Raises — 200
      Pax seemed to grumble a bit about the traveling method. If YHC recalls correctly, it was something along the lines of; “we couldn’t just do a regular Dora, we had to almost like a suicide thing or ladder deal”.
      Above is a pretty accurate description: each time a partner traveled he went to, he went one Star further and ran back. Once we got to the Army Star, it got much much easier as we worked our way in reverse from there.
      Time. Mosey to Flag.


      COT

      Desmond Doss, known for incomparable bravery, was a “Conscientious Objector”. In the times I have Qed Hacksaw, I failed to truly recognize this American Hero, and the example he gives us in which to live.
      We all have a moral compass, and in today’s world, we are often encouraged that our moral compass calls us to anger or “set aside” someone with different viewpoints or different moral compasses.
      Desmond Doss reminds us we should have a different approach in life.
      As Choo Choo reminded us at Shot House on Monday, our mental state and mental discipline, or lack thereof, guide our habits. Our habits create a perception of us to others.
      How do his COT meld with Desmond Doss’s lesson? A strong moral compass will guide self-discipline which will create positive habits which, in turn, will only help others see a positive light and love in us.
      See, Desmond had a strong moral compass, so much so that he loved his fellow man enough to serve and risk his life but also stood behind his morals of not harming another person. He reminds us of the power of standing strong in our morals while also providing love and service to others.
      How about we strive to do this? Stand strong for what is right. What is right is loving and serving others. This takes immeasurable amounts of self-discipline, BUT it also leads to positive habits that impact others in a positive way.
      Finally, in turn, those positive habits often lead to the “change you want to see in the world”.


      Moleskin

      “WE couldn’t just do an easy Dora, we had to do like a suicide or ladder type thing” — Full Moon
      Somehow, Totanka’s running pace was mentioned…News Flash — He. Runs. Fast.
      Apparently, there was a lot of arm work completed at the Hackliment locations this week.
      “There is no fast way to do these either” — response to a change from Upright Rows to Leg Raises


      News

      Tough Muff — Details coming


      Recent Backblasts

        The Shopkeeper and His Son Were A Different Story Altogether…

        QIC:  WuzntMe

        Date: 1/17/22

        PAX: Ramrod, Full Moon, John Doe, WreckedEm (with a W), MIA, Bernie, Choo Choo

        AO:Hacksaw


        Conditions

        Cold, frozen, and covered in ice and snow. However, you wouldn’t know from Ramrod’s insistence that it’s shorts weather.


        COP

        Various amounts of SSH and stretches. Plus some burpees. Unoriginal.


        The Thang

        Countdown to the Countdown:

        13 of each:
        Curls
        Presses
        Leg Lifts
        BBS
        Incline merkins
        Decline merkins
        Squats
        Lunges

        Do all 13, then when finished, do 12, then 11, so on. Everytime the timer goes off, 5 dips.

        Q: Modification for dips?
        A: Burpees.
        Choo Choo: hellyeah. <proceeds to do burpees in weightvest while somewhere in the distance a bald eagle screams and freedom happens and we win the cold war again>

        Pax “enjoyed” some stoner rock.


        COT

        Shared a story about how yesterday I was consumed with a task at hand, and almost missed an opportunity to pepper my M with snowballs. I am admittedly awful about getting focused on a task and forgetting to actually live in the moment. One day, after I will have spent the entirety of my life making plans, I will realize that I have burned through my youth and the only plan left is to die. Live in the moment, put aside your plans, and take the opportunities as they come.


        Moleskin

        Pretty sure that this is the first time the term “douchebag” has ever been used during formal prayer requests. Our apologies to the Almighty, but we are thankful for John Doe’s new adventure. Douchebag.

        Full Moon forgot about Clutch. Vamanos, vamanos.

        Ramrod voiced his displeasure that the PAXs’ Ms don’t respect classic drummers.

        Most of the PAX have been through this particular workout before; MIA reminded me that this was unoriginal. I reminded him of the Hacksaw mission statement : World’s most unoriginal AO, where everything is likely to be better somewhere else.


        News

        Tuff Muff on 2/19
        4th F Weekend in May


        Recent Backblasts

          Hacksaw Men Love to Bear Crawl!

          QIC:  Abercrombie

          Date: 12/31/2021

          PAX: Bernie, Cooter, Escobar, Full Moon, M.I.A., Oui Oui, Picabo, Seagull, Tinder

          AO: Hacksaw


          Conditions

          Mid 50’s, nice breeze, few wet spots in the pavement, PERFECT CONDITONS


          COP

          •Side Staddle Hop (25 IC)

          •Forward fold to calf stretch

          •Calf raises (50 regular, 50 pigeon, 50 duck, 50 regular)

          •Mosey to the Collegedale Library

          •Motivators (We counted down from 10)

          •LBACs (10 IC)


          The Thang

          Bear crawl in cadence with Merkin. This was miserable, but we made it to 100 merkins!

          Bear crawl Indian run (Bataan Death Crawl). Pax in the front yells “five!” (I come from the Battery and that’s as high as we can count). This is a signal for the Pax in the back to complete 3 burpees and run to the front of the line and yells “Five!”.

          Killer B’s

          •Broad jump to 1st cone

          •10 Burpees

          •10 Bonnie Blairs

          •10 Big Boys

          •Bear crawl back

          We only completed one round of Killer B’s

          Dora Bear Crawl: One Pax Bear Crawls while the other curls for a total of 100

          Mary: Picabo (Plank) Cooter (Heel Touches) TIME!


          COT

          For the COT, I wanted to put in a plug for the Q Source at Chic-fil-a following Monday morning beatdowns.  Q Source is leadership study materials developed by the co-founders of F3.  I shared highlights from the chapter on Influence (Q2.2).  Basically, there are two primary ways to influence people to an advantageous change: words (and the way you say them) and deeds (the behavior you model).  A high impact man understands that movement must be voluntary for it to result in a true advantage, and he can not compel movement through the force of his will.

          Anyway, its good stuff.  If you have never attended, you are missing out. 


          Moleskin

          Ok, I probably had one of my biggest laughs during this Q. At one point during the bear crawl merkins, I turned around to realize that I was the only one actually doing anything; the entire pax was just walking behind me counting cadence. What a bunch of wise guys!

          I’m not sure if the motivators actually motivated anyone, but I am sure that everyone pushed themselves and got a little bit better this morning.


          News

          Convergence tomorrow! Be safe tonight.


          Recent Backblasts

            8 BAMF Dorka – Like a Dora, but a little dumber

            QIC:  Tatonka

            Date: 11/29/2021

            PAX: AOL, Bandwagon, Bernie, Choo Choo, iLean, Lutefisk, M.I.A., Mandela, Mr. Burns, Picabo, Seagull, Sea Through, Toe Tag, Uncle Joe, Wuzn’tMe

            AO: Hacksaw


            Conditions

            Low 30s, low wind. Cold but manageable as long as Q kept PAX moving


            COP

            SSH x10 IC
            LBAC x 10 IC
            SSH x10 IC
            Reverse LBAC x10 IC
            SSH x10 IC
            Seal Claps x 10 IC
            SSH x10 IC
            Moroccan Night Clubs x10 IC
            SSH x10 IC


            The Thang


            8 BAMF Dorka
            PAX partner up

            Partner 1 runs a lap of the inside circle
            Partner 2 completes the designated exercise until Partner 1 returns
            Partner 1 then begins doing designated exercise while Partner 2 runs

            A typical Dora consists of completing a set number of reps of each exercise before switching to the next exercise. This workout did not have a goal rep count of each exercise. Rather, PAX continued with one exercise until Q called for a switch. Hence this was a Dorka, kind of like a Dora but a little dumber.

            Exercises completed were:
            8 count bodybuilders x 5 min
            Big Boy Sit Ups x 5 min
            Air Squats x 5 min
            Mountain Climbers x 5 min
            Flutter Kicks x 5 min

            After 5 minutes of flutter kicks, PAX performed the following:

            Indian Run
            Merkin Circle – PAX position themselves in high plank position. Q completes one merkin while rest of PAX hold high plank. Next PAX in line completes one merkin followed by next PAX in line who completes one merkin, etc. When it gets back to Q, Q completes 2 merkins. Next PAX in line completes 2 merkins, etc. We repeated this process to a 5 merkin count.

            Finished with 2 minutes of Mary


            COT

            Mark 10:45 – “For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

            I spoke on the importance of being a servant to others, especially this time of year. It’s easy to get caught up in material things around the holidays, but service towards others comes in many forms and can be often overlooked. My pastor spoke on it a month ago and told everyone to set a daily alarm for 10:45 AM that says, “Mark 10:45 – How can I be a servant today?” This daily reminder helps keep me in check and forces me to think about ways I can serve others in my daily life to ultimately live a more Christlike lifestyle.


            Moleskin

            It turns out that no gloves while planking on concrete for several minutes is not a great combination. Just ask Mandela.

            Picabo looked entirely too excited for his turn in Mary when he called 1 minute plank to end the workout.

            M.I.A. loved the Q’s music selection so much. He neglected to point it out until he was thanking him for his leadership in the slack channel later that morning.


            News

            Chubbies is always looking for volunteers on Monday nights to minister to Chattanooga’s homeless population. Talk to Mayhem or check the serve schedule on the 3rd-F slack channel if you are interested in helping out.

            Several guys have come down with injuries or other life events that are going to keep them away from F3 for a while. Not everyone has another outlet for fellowship so make sure to reach out to guys to check in with them.


            Recent Backblasts

              Disappointment Abounds

              QIC:  M.I.A.

              Date: 11/05/2021

              PAX:  Abercrombie, AOL, El Chapo, Escobar, FNG-Fortnite, Full Moon, FNG-Hillshire, Landmine, Mandela, Mr. Burns, Oui Oui, Picabo, FNG-Pit Bike, Ramrod, Rollback, SeaGull, Spirit Fingers, Sousa, Stork, Top’Em, Uncle Joe, WeBlow, WuzntMe

              AO:  Hacksaw

              Conditions

              Those expected the temps in the 30’s as forecasted were disappointed. YHC and everyone around him found this to be the least disappointing part of the beatdown.


              COP

              Rifle Carry to the flag pole.

              30(ish?) SSH
              LBAC & Reverse x 13
              Stretch out those shoulders…


              The Thang

              All exercises completed together. Holding the coupon above your head until the 6 is in:

              5 x Blockees
              10 x Curls
              15 x Overhead Press
              20 x Around the World (Imagine the coupon is a satellite and your head is the planet)

              5 x Around the World
              10 x Blockees*
              15 x Curls
              20 x Overhead Press

              5 x Overhead Press
              10 x Around the World
              15 x Blockees
              20 x Curls

              5 x Curls
              10 x Overhead Press
              15 x Around the World
              20 x Blockees

              5 x Head, Shoulders, Knees & Toes
              10 x Louganis
              15 x Triceps Extension
              20 x Weighted Flutter Kicks

              5 x Weighted Flutter Kicks
              10 x HSK&T
              15 x Louganis
              20 x Triceps Extensions

              5 x Triceps Extensions
              10 x Flutter Kicks
              15 x HSK&T
              20 x Louganis

              Time – Disappointed ensued because we didn’t finish.


              COT

              YHC feels that men don’t hear/share their appreciation and love for each other enough. Inspired by a F3 Podcast from many moons ago, YHC mused on the importance of letting other men know they are loved.


              Moleskin

              * This was the moment that almost all the PAX groaned and shared their disappointment (loudly) with YHC.

              • AOL picked up three dudes pre-workout. They may have been of age… they may not.
              • Upon completion of the Side Straddle Hops YHC noted that this was the completion of the leg exercises for the day…. Mandela squealed with glee.
              • Escobar “WHOA!!! That is the biggest 6 inches I have ever seen”
              • Picabo and WuzntMe accused YHC of being a sadist, but they did it with a Cheshire grin
              • Sousa admitted to breaking YHC’s coupon maliciously
              • Sousa also admitted he would have posted elsewhere (the fartsack) if he saw the post regarding the switcheroo at Q
              • Sewer gases leaked from somewhere/someone during workout.

              News

              6 AM at Hill City – Thanksgiving Day convergence, followed by the Grateful Gobbler 5K. Wear your F3 attire, EH your fellow runners. Register here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/2021-grateful-gobbler-5k-registration-162832772205?aff=ebdssbdestsearch

              Decomposing Burpees

              QIC:  Tatonka

              Date: 07/12/2021

              PAX: Oui Oui, AOL, WEBLOW, WuzntMe, M.I.A., Tube Squeeze, SeaGull, Uncle Joe, Toe Tag

              AO: Hacksaw


              Conditions

              70’s with some wet ground from the night’s rain. No rain during the beatdown though so we had that going on for us!


              COP

              SSH x 15 IC

              Forward Fold OYO

              Willie Mays Hayes x 16 IC

              Quad Stretch

              LBAC x 10 IC

              Reverse LBAC x 10 IC

              Chinooks x 10 IC

              Seal Claps x 10 IC

              Moroccan Night Clubs x 10 IC

              Cherry Pickers x 10 IC

              Calf Stretches OYO


              The Thang

              Decomposing Burpees

              1. Navy SEAL Burpees x 2 min

              200m run

              1. Mountain Climber Burpee x 2 min

              200m run

              1. 8 count body builders x 2 min

              200m run

              1. Burpees x 2 min

              200m run

              1. Royal Jumping Burpee (a merkin-less burpee with a jump and clap at the end) x 2 min

              200m run

              1. Royal Burpee (apparently the OG traditional burpee; no merkin, no jump, no clap) x 2 min

              200m run

              1. Air Squats x 2 min

              200m run

              1. Plank x 2 min


              Circle up for some Mary for time

              Scissor kicks (Oui Oui)

              Pickle Pointers (AOL)

              Little Baby Crunches (WEBLOW)

              Boat Canoes (WuzntMe)

              Run a lap (M.I.A.)


              COT

              The Father’s Day sermon at my church was all about lawns and weeds. It’s not enough to just kill the weeds and hope the lawn will look better and prosper. You must reseed the lawn in order to get newer healthier grass to grow in place where the weeds once were. If you don’t reseed the bare spot, the weeds will just come back. Furthermore, a small weed doesn’t stay a small weed for very long. Very quickly it will multiple into numerous bigger weeds if not addressed soon enough. The spiritual metaphor is that it’s not enough to just remove weeds (sin) from our lives, we must replace it with better and healthier actions to live a more Christ like life.

              The exercises we completed “got easier” as we removed a component from the prior exercise. For example, the Navy SEAL burpee consists of three merkins and a mountain climber movement on each leg. The following exercise, the mountain climber burpee, removed two of the three merkins from the prior exercise. Likewise, the eight count body builder that followed removed and replaced the mountain climber leg movement with a plank jack. This pattern continued with each subsequent exercise until we were just in the plank position.

              As we progressed through the exercises, we weren’t just removing a component and sitting around doing nothing. We replaced what we removed with something that still made us better and helped us improve ourselves. Likewise, this is how we should remove sin from our lives and replace with actions that continue to help us grow spiritually into healthier stronger Christian men.


              Moleskin

              At one point, Q was referred to as John Doe, Jr. because the thang seemed to focus around a single exercise. The Q is not sure if this was intended to be an insult but took it as a compliment anyway.

              Oui Oui was quick to point out that a burpee (or any variation thereof) is an excellent full body workout. The Q appreciates this open minded approach.

              “2 minutes at my house doesn’t ever last this long” – AOL

              There was some chatter about proper burpee form, whether a merkin is involved in a traditional burpee, whether there is a jump and clap at the end, etc. etc.

              It turns out the originator of the “burpee” was named Royal Burpee (I looked it up on the internet, so it’s probably true). His OG burpee consisted of no merkin and no jump or clap; just an outward thrusting of the feet into a plank position.


              News

              Fallen Five convergence at The Dame/Hot Dam/Dam straight/Frankly my dear I don’t give a Dam this Saturday 7/17/21 from 0700-0800. Fallen Five ruck to follow immediately afterwards.

              3rd F opportunity at Chubbies on Monday nights. Reach out to John Doe if interested and available to serve.

              2nd F opportunity this Friday 7/16/21 at 1600 at the Fountainhead taproom. Out of town PAX that are in town for the Fallen Five event will also be invited and encouraged to attend for some 2nd F.


              Recent Backblasts

                Rihanna Appreciation Day

                QIC:  WuzntMe

                Date: 05/21/2021

                PAX: Escobar, Uncle Joe, Top ‘Em, Zima, Toe Tag, Mayhem, 9Volt, El Chapo, Woodrider, Oui Oui, Seagull, AOL, Picabo, Point Break, Bernie

                AO: Hacksaw


                Conditions

                A nice, cool morning… for a regretful situation and a joke that went just a little too far.


                COP

                Took a lap around the church parking lot, then 33 SSH. Then got down to brass tacks. To the amazing musical poetry otherwise known as “Umbrella,” PAX were introduced to RiRi’s Appreciation Day. While Jay-Z prattles on about, well, whatever Jay-Z “raps” about, PAX did plank jacks. Every time RiRi mentions her rain-deflection device, pax did a burpee. Everytime she describes it as an “ella” or “aaaaay”, it’s a donkey kick. Every time our Bahamian princess mentions rain, PAX did a dive bomber.


                The Thang

                Pax counted off by fours. Then split into said groups.
                Group 1:
                Find Love in a Hill-less Place (run to the bottom of the Increased Gravity Zone, find the heart scrawled in chalk, turn around and run to the top of the not-hill)
                Group 2:
                S(quats) & M(erkins)– 10 squats, 20 Merkins. Focus on form. Repeat ad infinitum.
                Group 3:
                Rude Boys (gone get it up, I believe) – 10 BBS, 20 LBCs, 30 Flutters. Repeat.
                Group 4:
                Only Curls in the World– 10 shoulder presses, 20 curls, 10 dips. Repeat until pace group returns.

                Groups rotate once hill has been summitted by entirety of the group. Pax then offered another Rihanna fun fact, rinse, repeat x 8.

                Circle up.
                Shine Bright Like a…
                Everytime she says Diamond, do a diamond merkin. Song is much longer than you’d expect, and despite the vast lyrical talents of Katy Perry’s maid of honor, she repeats the word Diamond close to 40 times.


                COT

                Rihanna Appreciation Day started off as a joke between 9Volt and myself when he played one of her songs at his Q. But merely speaking that into existence turned into an actual thing, and then, well, it happened. What we choose to embrace in our lives is no different. What we praise, and likewise, defame, manifests itself into reality. If you complain about your wife, or your kids, or your job, you will grow to resent them. If you choose to praise, speak positively about them, etc., your love for them will grow. YHC challenged the boys to speak positively about their lives, and to manifest decency.


                Moleskin

                Of all Rihanna fun facts, PAX favorite was “Umbrella was her first hit, while ex-boyfriend Chris Brown’s biggest hit was, actually, Rihanna.” One pax, who will remain nameless, remarked, “Oh, now I know who she is!” insert BunkMorelandHeadshake.gif

                PAX were also astonished to learn that Rihanna didn’t graduate high school. Shocker, that.

                Oui Oui expressed disbelief that Rihanna cannot blink. He is still scouring the internet for proof that she can, in GIF form. Godspeed, soldier.

                Toe Tag had never heard the lyrics to S&M (“this might be pornography in song form, Wuz”), and we all felt a little ashamed for having played it in a church parking lot. Or for having played it at all, really.

                9Volt wears a pair of ‘shorts’ that, while an affront to American iconography, he gleefully admitted “used to be just underwear.” Mentors, ladies and gentlemen.


                News

                Memorial Day convergence. Mustaches mandatory, sleeves optional.


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